Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?

I've been so stressed out lately because of the RSVP's. More people than we thought are replying yes, we only have two no's. But the other day, we got responses for a party of 9 (2 were invited, but they decided to bring their 6 children PLUS one of the daughter's boyfriend); a party of 3 (aunt HAD to bring her two step-sisters that I don't know); a party of 2 (I invited two of my close friends who are engaged, she couldn't go so they decided to swap her seat for another friend that I decided not to invite because we're not close. They decided since I would've counted them as two it didn't matter who the second person was), etc.

I've been SO stressed about the money and my FH got annoyed at me yesterday saying it wasn't all about money.

But we don't have it and we don't know/want those people there, so I feel like I'm wasting money for no reason!! Am I being cheap/bridezillaish? I mean most of them ARE family....

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Posted by fujamaga

I've been so stressed out lately because of the RSVP's. More people than we thought are replying yes, we only have two no's. But the other day, we got responses for a party of 9 (2 were invited, but they decided to bring their 6 children PLUS one of the daughter's boyfriend); a party of 3 (aunt HAD to bring her two step-sisters that I don't know); a party of 2 (I invited two of my close friends who are engaged, she couldn't go so they decided to swap her seat for another friend that I decided not to invite because we're not close. They decided since I would've counted them as two it didn't matter who the second person was), etc.

I've been SO stressed about the money and my FH got annoyed at me yesterday saying it wasn't all about money.

But we don't have it and we don't know/want those people there, so I feel like I'm wasting money for no reason!! Am I being cheap/bridezillaish? I mean most of them ARE family....

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If it was me, I would have a lot more no's because I'd be calling them and telling them that THEY were invited....not their extended families!!!!!!!

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Posted by Kimbalina

The party of 9 is HIGHLY unreasonable of THEM!!!! that is discusting to do! Who does that!

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That's what I said, but FH said they were 'family' because his mom was close friends with them.

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Posted by Danielle623

If it was me, I would have a lot more no's because I'd be calling them and telling them that THEY were invited....not their extended families!!!!!!!

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I wanted to, but neither my FH or my parents are allowing me to do so.

The kicker is my FH and I are paying for the ENTIRE wedding ourselves.

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Posted by Bride908

The party of nine is really a bit much. How did you address the envelope? And how old are their children??

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I wrote Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

I have no idea how old the children are. The oldest is obviously old enough to have a boyfriend, but I think the youngest is still a baby...

i think it is all just uncalled for ....i would be calling everyone of those guests invited and tell them they CANNOT bring their 6 kids and the kids boyfriends W T F and the aunt doesn't need her 2 step sisters...they aren't even family for god sakes and the friend who invited another friend to take the place of your friend...W T F!!!!

Seriously you need to get on them for this crap. I know I would NOT be taking that crap from any of my guests. When did guests start deciding who comes and who doesn't to a wedding!!??

Sorry you are going through this...but I say you have to say something to these people!!!

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Posted by cbcf

i think it is all just uncalled for ....i would be calling everyone of those guests invited and tell them they CANNOT bring their 6 kids and the kids boyfriends W T F and the aunt doesn't need her 2 step sisters...they aren't even family for god sakes and the friend who invited another friend to take the place of your friend...W T F!!!!

Seriously you need to get on them for this crap. I know I would NOT be taking that crap from any of my guests. When did guests start deciding who comes and who doesn't to a wedding!!??

Sorry you are going through this...but I say you have to say something to these people!!!

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I said that to my FH and parents but their response was that I was being cheap since I was 'ONLY' 25 people over target. I just feel like I'm the only one who thinks its unacceptable.

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Posted by fujamaga

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Posted by Bride908

The party of nine is really a bit much. How did you address the envelope? And how old are their children??

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I wrote Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

I have no idea how old the children are. The oldest is obviously old enough to have a boyfriend, but I think the youngest is still a baby...

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I would def say something about that. Just politely call and say that you are sorry if they misunderstood but children are not invited or something like that

I would tell your parents that you will either tell the family of 9 that they are not ALL invited or your parents can pay for them.

I know, its family and all, but when you set a budget, what can you do. This close to the date, you cant just pull $$ out of thin air.

As for the friend who gave her invite away..its an invitation, not a freekin concert ticket!!

Put your foot down and tell these people sorry, but we are not able to accomodate you.

ETA, the good thing is a lot of NOs come in closer to the wedding. People tend to feel bad for not coming and send it late so you can't complain or something. Idk..but thats a whole other issue

I definitely would do those but there's two problems:

(1) Kids ARE invited b/c FH thought it was unreasonable to not allow kids to come

(2) This family isn't on MY side of the family, its on HIS. His mom and FH thinks its fine, and I can't very well call up these people and tell them no.

better yet tell hubby (since it's HIS side/ or his MOM) to tell them that you only have room for 2...be nice and say that as much as you would like to be able to invite everyone, you just can't because there is limited 'seating'

blame it on the size of the reception hall....

and if they refuse to come because of that, well then you save 9 seats!!

You are totally not unreasonable...it's unreasonable for these people to swap seats and invite others to your wedding. I don't get people!! What nerve..how could people think this is ok.

It seems like you are stuck though if no one is allowing you to say anything.. but to answer your question.. you are not being bridezillaish AT ALL!!!

I highly suggest that you tell them only those indicated on the envelope. I still have people in the party wanting to bring their mates to the RD and his family member who wants to bring a boyfriend because she knows that we have some no's.

He calls his family and lays the law and I do mine. If not, then he has to omit something that he wanted to (HM or otherwise) account for the $.

Also, I will not allow kids that are not in the party. If you don't put your foot down, where does it end?

Thanks everyone! It makes me feel a lot better knowing I'm not being cheap or crazy or acting like a bridezilla. I feel like this wedding has been such a hassle that I'm not even looking forward to it anymore

All I want to do is and hahha.

THANKS!!!