Am I nuts.

Mike and I have not been trying. We aren't using anything either. We are kinda like if it happens it happens. The night of the wedding was when we threw everything away (sorry tmi).
Some of you may know that I am really considering moving to Florida. The only thing that thing that is keeping me here is my mom. I know I know that sounds NUTS. My mom and I are even close. Its just that my mom thinks Florida is where old people go to die. And a long time ago it might have been like that but its nut anymore. I don't want to move away from my mom and have kids and her not be able to see them whenever she wants. My brother lives there with his son and I see what my mom goes through not being able to see her grandson whenever she wants. The truth is If I goto Florida Mikes grandparents will either buy us a house or give us a nice chunk of change for a house. We are just making ends meet here. Living pay check to pay check (and borrowing money from the wedding fund ).

My mom can't retire for another 3 years. My aunt is moving (soon) and my dad is retired and ready to move to Florida.

I really feel Like im ready to move to Florida but not start a family without my mom (strictly because of not wanting to hurt my moms feelings).

Is it wrong that I am thinking of going on the pill for 2 and half 3 years because this is the time my mom will retire then and she will be able to spend time there. We would love to have a baby now. We have been together for 10 years and we are ready for the next stage of our lives. BUT My mom is really depressed with all the stuff with my brother and what not.

I DON'T KNOW I just can't stop thinking about Florida. I really think moving would be a better opportunity for us.

IMO if your ready to have your family, start your family your mom shouldn't really be part of the equation.

If your Mom can't retire for three more years then that is fine, but she could still move to Florida and work and if she doesn't want to do FLorida she could choose some place like NC. My parents did it... my Dad is retired and my mom still works (she is in her 50's.. my dad is older) and she is making better money in NC and has friday-saturday-sunday off which gives her the opportunity to jump on a plane to FLorida and see us as she pleases.

My mom is my best friend and there was no way I was putting off my family. Life is too short and I can't see the future.. and just being the devils advocate here but I would rather my baby have a few years of having a part time grandma then waiting for grandma to retire and possibly not have grandma still living by that time. I lost my grandparents young and it *****!

My situation is different then yours because the military put us here but we are only 25 and have a great house and the area we are in Destin, Ft. Walton Beach has very few old people who are just waiting to die.

IMO Florida is one of the cheapest places to fly too especially from NY and also it is a driveable distance (not a fun drive... but could be done)

Hey, doesn't your Mom have a house down in Florida anyway.. I thought I remembered something from back when she had trouble with the car flooding out or getting wet or something.

I think it's fine your mom is depressed that you guys want to go to FLorida and that your brother is there as well, but she has to realize she raised you in an extremly expensive place and for you and mike and maybe baby to have a better life it might just have to happen in another state and she has to just roll with it she gave you roots to come home to on Long Island now she needs to let you branch out and find what is best for you!

Good Luck with your decision!

Thank you so much. That really helped me out A LOT. Im really stuck. I too hated Florida ( I thought it was all old people) until I saw my SIL beautiful house and how great her kids have it and they love it.

My mom and dad have a condo in West Palm Beach. Its like 15 minutes from Mikes sister (Boynton Beach) and 30 minutes from my brother Deerfield beach. The problem is that it is in Century Village (cemetry village as my mom calls it) and I think this is why mom thinks of Florida as 'old people dying' The bought it cause it was cheap.


We are going to Flordia for easter for a weak and a day And I think we are going to look at houses and I think If I like something I am going to go for it.

although you absolutely adore your mom (like i do), she is not really with whom you would be raising your family. that person is your husband. so if HE is ready and YOU are ready, then don't wait for your MOM to be ready, although it sounds like she is. i think she'd be happy for you no matter where you are geographically!

I think deciding when to start a family is really a decision that rests solely on you and your DH. When you both feel ready (emotionally, finanically, etc) is when you should go for it.

I completely understand your doubt though. My mom lives in Florida and Jimmy's mom lives in North Carolina. It's hard to think about having their grandchildren without them around to see. We were seriously considering moving to Florida also (forget about that 'Florida is for old people' stuff!) even before our baby is born. Unfortunately, being that I am as far along as I am, we decided it isn't practical right now, but we will probably set up a 2 or 3 year plan to move.

If not having your Mom down in Florida makes you feel thoroughly not ready to have a child, then it's a valid reason to hold off. If you and DH feel ready despite that, then I don't think it is.

But, believe me, if you decide to have a baby now, whether here or in florida, everything WILL work itself out somehow. Good luck with this decision!!

Good Luck, Kristen, either way!
I would move to florida tomorrow! lol
but we probably will w/in ten years and we wont be that old