Am I overreacting? (1st Vent. Sorry it's long)

Im so upset with my father right now I dont even want him near me. Yesterday I called my Dad because I need to get my reponses finalized so I can have fun doing seating charts. My Dad had mentioned that he might be bringing one of my mom's friends as a guest. ( My Mom died over 7 years ago. My dad was in a relationship for 5 years but they broke up in December and my dad hasent dated since.)
Convo:
Me: Hey Daddy. Are you bringing anyone to the wedding? You never gave me a definate and I need to know by Thurs.

D: Im not sure yet. There's many fries in the oven that I have to sort through.

Me: Well I kind of need to know this week. When will you know?

D: Well the card says Thurs. but I know you have extra days so when is the last day I can tell you?

Me: Monday at the absolute latest. By the way, do I know the person that you're going to bring?

D: I dont know. Maybe you will maybe you wont. I dont know who Im bringing yet.

Me: So let me understand this you are again going to use a family function, in this case my WEDDING, to introduce us to a new #@$%????
You are not going to disrespect me, my sister and brother or my Mother like that!

Totally not getting the sarcasm in my voice or the sound of tears welling in my throat he replies:

D: Yeah, I'll let you know on Monday.

I hung up.

My brother was only 7 when my mom died. When he was growing up my dad would bring a new girl to every birthday party, or family holiday. My mom was my best friend and I know that Im protective of her memory but why does he have to pick special occasions to introduce these women to his kids??? Why cant we meet them another time??? My father has a history of disappointing his kids. I dont know why I expected anything different this time.

I am so so so so so sorry. Rest assured you are NOT overreacting!

If it were me I would put my foot down 'Daddy, I love you and I am so excited about my wedding. Out of respect for me and the importance of this day I am asking that you refrain from bringing a date that the family does not know to our wedding. I do not want their to be any pictures of you with a woman I don't know. I want you to be able to focus your attention on the day and not on a date. I feel very strongly that this is not the appropriate time to bring a date that no one in the family knows. Please respect my decision on this. I want us all to have a beautiful tension free day. If you bring a date that the family does not know it would create a difficult situation for me. Thank you so much for everything and for respecting my wishes.'

Is it possible to communicate something like that to him? You have every right to put your foot down on this and I really think you should.

Best of luck.

Shanna

you aren't overreacting...at all!!
My mom was also my very Best friend and died only a year and ahalf ago and now as im planning my wedding my dad has a new gf.......its such an upsetting thing to go through in general nevermind on your special day!
i hope it works out!

You are NOT overreacting. It seems your dad just doesn't GET it - or hasn't grown up yet, and isn't taking your feelings into account. Isn't your mom's family going to be there? That's just wrong. He's not 17. He doesn't need someone there to dance with and hold his hand. He can go alone to his daughter's wedding - or go with a family friend that you all KNOW. Not some FLOOSEY. He's not being fair to you at all. Someone has to talk to him - and I don't blame you for not being able to without getting all emotional. I would get the same way.

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Posted by sarahradio5

You are NOT overreacting. It seems your dad just doesn't GET it - or hasn't grown up yet, and isn't taking your feelings into account. Isn't your mom's family going to be there? That's just wrong. He's not 17. He doesn't need someone there to dance with and hold his hand. He can go alone to his daughter's wedding - or go with a family friend that you all KNOW. Not some FLOOSEY. He's not being fair to you at all. Someone has to talk to him - and I don't blame you for not being able to without getting all emotional. I would get the same way.

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Totally agree with Sarah. You should tell him flat out that this is your wedding day and he needs to understand that. Tell him to come alone or with one of your mom's friends, but not some random woman who you don't know. Good luck....

I am sorry you are going through this ~ you are not over reacting at all ~ I would be the same way... it would be different if he was in a serious relationship... but just to bring someone (who you might not now for such a special occasion..) be firm about Monday being the deadline... Good Luck!

Im just so in disbelief but at the same time I dont know why Im surprised at his behavior. I mean he's going to be sitting with my Mother's Father!!! Have some couth! And it doesnt help that Im very hormonal these days ( ) and cry at the drop of a hat. Ive done nothing but cry since last night. That's why I turned to you ladies to make sure I wasent the crazy one. Thanks for letting me vent.