One of our friends rsvped yes to our wedding, he lives in Miami right now (he use to live in Queens)... we didn't think he'll come since we don't talk that often any more.
2 week or so before the wedding, he mentioned how he doesn't have a place to stay... how he was planning on sleeping in his friends garage! I told him I'll find a better option for him. At the end my husband and I decided to pay for a hotel(Hyatt) room for him for the night of the wedding... since he was coming so far and we got a pretty decent rate...
We saw him and his brother (his guest) at the ceremony and cocktail hr but not at the reception. He went back to the hotel room we paid for... without even saying hi or bye to me. When I called him at the end of the night... he said he shaked Joe's hand and he didn't know there was more after the cocktail hour!!! He also said I didn't email him an intinerary like I said I was gonna... I told him everything over AIM 3 nights before the wedding... told him about the rehearsal dinner the night before, the chinese banquet the night after... no I didn't tell him the timeline for the wedding... but shouldn't he have said bye? or hi?
Am I wrong in being upset?
RadioLau
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That's crazy!!! How could he have thought the cocktail hour was the whole thing! I would be very upset too.
JennJay
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WOW, how nervey of him. I would definately be pissed. Who doesnt know a wedding is more than cocktail hour? I think he used you guys for a free room.
snydl40
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People can be such idiots. It's sounds like he wanted to come up here, get some free food, have you guys pay for a room, and then hang out with whoever else he knew on LI. I would ignore this rude person and not talk to him anymore. PS... Who doesn't know a reception comes after a cocktail hour???
ewickens
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You have every right to be upset that he didn't come to you to say good-bye, but I have to play devil's advocate here. People on LI forget (I'm not saying all, but some) that weddings are handled differently elsewhere. I've had to remind my family on more than one occasion - including my own parents - that the cocktail hour is not dinner down here as it is considered upstate in some areas or skipped all together. Some people really do not know the timeline of weddings, esp if they aren't familiar with going to them often. JMO.
KandR419
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I would be totally upset/pissed if one of my friends did that. Interesting he thought that it was over even though no one else was leaving..hmmm... I'm really sorry this happened to you!!
ML110
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Posted by ewickens
You have every right to be upset that he didn't come to you to say good-bye, but I have to play devil's advocate here. People on LI forget (I'm not saying all, but some) that weddings are handled differently elsewhere. I've had to remind my family on more than one occasion - including my own parents - that the cocktail hour is not dinner down here as it is considered upstate in some areas or skipped all together. Some people really do not know the timeline of weddings, esp if they aren't familiar with going to them often. JMO.
i have to agree with this totally! even though hes from queens, he may not have been to many weddings here before, and truly might have thought the coctail hour was it ( weddings here are totally different than elsewhere)... although it does seem fishy, i would give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't realize the coctail hour wasn't it....
justshir
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i can understand how you feel. from what you've written it sounds like he kinda swindled you. i would be bothered it. it's common sense and apparently he has poor etiquette.
2Be1
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WOW, I don't think you are overreacting especially after you and DH extended so much gratitude towards him. Some people just really have a lot of damn nerve
Mdolph6
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I dont think you are overreacting, that was kind of rude.
MrsR72806
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You are not overreacting!!!! That is so rude!!!! I mean, how do you not know there is more after the cocktail hour? That sounds like a load of B.S if you ask me!!!!!
Dina
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I can somewhat understand where some of the other girls who are posting are coming from about out of state weddings and maybe not knowing there was anything after the cocktail hour (although it seems a little suspect to me personally). That being said, however, it STILL doesn't excuse the fact that he did not even say goodbye to you! I would definitely be upset and hurt too. You are definitely NOT overreacting!
eden
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That's really RUDE on so many levels, unless he's raised by wolves he should know
1. to come say 'hi' to you or congratulate you 2. to have you pay for the room and not even come by to thank you 3. that a wedding is more than a cocktail hour! the guy came from Queens!
Some people can be so ungrateful and socially dense.
I say you make sure all his friends & family know bout this too - if h'es asian, making him lose face would be one way to get back at him! *wink*
R&J0806
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no, you're not overreacting. I'd be insulted. and just by the fact that you called him on YOUR wedding night - when I'm sure you had a million other things on your mind - should put up a red flag to him that he did something wrong.
babybug631
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That's really weird. Yeah, I'd be pissed.
ellebelle1
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That just goes to show that it's not always good to go out of your way for someone.
CLMon7906
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that's a bit strange if you ask me!
Blu-ize
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Did you not send an invite to him stating the ceremony will be at 7..cocktails and then reception?..etc..
I imagine you sent out formal invites or others would have left too.
He needs to grow up. He's trying to lay the blame on you and he cleary pushed your buttons to suit his MO.
