My FH and I had a huge fight with his mother (FMIL) at christmas time. We finally made up last month. We decide it was time to move on to happy times. So fast forward to today. I know that my shower invites had gone out so I called my MOH today to ask if FMIL responded. So she ws trying to change the subject. I asked her what is her problem and she said I am sorry, but she is not coming. I am so hurt that she is not coming. She told MOH that it is just too far for her to travel. What!!!!! She lives in PA 2 1/2 hours away and all of their family lives here. Fh and I have been engaged for a little over 3 years. Its not like it was last minute.
FH called her tonight and she told him that it was either get us a gift or spend money on traveling. He told her he understood. She said that if she comes now then she can't come for our wedding. Ughhh Is she short for cash? Yes, but I would rather have my FMIL at my shower than have a gift. I am just sooo sad about this whole thing. Fh thinks I am overreating. Am I????
Sorry so long..
jaiese
Posted:
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Re: I am overreacting????
not at all. MY FMIL is a 6 hour car ride away, and I was still disappointed she didn't come. I don't need a gift, at least show up. Better yet, she ruined the surprise of my shower. I really had no idea when it was until she told me she couldn't come!
Colette
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Re: I am overreacting????
Posted by Soon2BMrsMunzGunz
Yes, but I would rather have my FMIL at my shower than have a gift. I am just sooo sad about this whole thing. Fh thinks I am overreating. Am I????
Sorry so long..
Oh, how frustrating!!! You're not overreacting, its very hurtful that she's not coming to the shower, she is being disrespectful to you, and her son.
BUT, per the quote above, as a past and future guest, I really have to agree - if I had to choose between attending or being able to afford a gift, I would ABSOLUTELY send a gift and decline the invitaiton. Whether her financial situation is the real reason? Who knows!! I'd drop it at this point, only because the relationship has been so strained, and this close to the wedding you may not want to have a brouhaha over this one....
gaccrrm
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Member since
Re: I am overreacting????
Posted by Colette
Posted by Soon2BMrsMunzGunz
Yes, but I would rather have my FMIL at my shower than have a gift. I am just sooo sad about this whole thing. Fh thinks I am overreating. Am I????
Sorry so long..
Oh, how frustrating!!! You're not overreacting, its very hurtful that she's not coming to the shower, she is being disrespectful to you, and her son.
BUT, per the quote above, as a past and future guest, I really have to agree - if I had to choose between attending or being able to afford a gift, I would ABSOLUTELY send a gift and decline the invitaiton. Whether her financial situation is the real reason? Who knows!! I'd drop it at this point, only because the relationship has been so strained, and this close to the wedding you may not want to have a brouhaha over this one....
I know my FH is hurt by this as well that is exactly why I am not going to push this issue any further. I let him know I was hurt and he tried to talk to her. That is all I could ask of him.
SAMORY
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Re: I am overreacting????
Well if she is low on cash and you and FH can afford it then pay for her bus ticket and explain to her that you would really love for her to be there. If you can't afford it then tell her to use the gift money to travel, but keep in mind that she might feel away about coming to your shower without a gift. If she says that then tell her that you guys allready brought something and put her name on it.
jenn122397
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Re: Am I overreacting????
i dont get the part about her getting u a gift OR Traveling - i have a house in PA and especially since the gas is alot cheaper there it cost maybe $40 to travel. even though her excue is lame i wouldnt get upste over it - maybe its better off that she doesnt come
gaccrrm
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Re: Am I overreacting????
Posted by jenn122397
i dont get the part about her getting u a gift OR Traveling - i have a house in PA and especially since the gas is alot cheaper there it cost maybe $40 to travel. even though her excue is lame i wouldnt get upste over it - maybe its better off that she doesnt come
I agree that maybe it is better off that she doesn't come. I don't want someone there that doesn't want to be there.
PegaLega
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Re: Am I overreacting????
I can understand why you are upset about her not being there-of course you want her there-thats normal. But I do think you are overreacting just a little bit. Its an important day for you and you want her there-but you cant really be upset b/c someone says they arent coming. She may have her own good reason-or not-but you will enjoy your shower regardless of whether she is there or not. Dont let it affect your mood or feelings. It could be alot worse-my OWN mother wasnt at my shower-she lives in Michigan. So it could be worse
Mooshyboo
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Re: Am I overreacting????
I would be upset tooo especially since you guys just made up it would be so nice for her to be there & experience the fun stuff too - I would rather have my FMIL at my shower and just to be there than a gift also... I would try not to let it bother me (dont think about it... or try to) I am sure she is just upset as you are especially if money is an issue it was probably hard for her to say no.. i know how hard it is when $$ is an issue and kind of have no choices to make.... hang in there kiddo things will be ok - she will be with you in spirit!
