I didn't include my FSIL in my bridal party. I have nothing against her and I love her to death but my grandmother told me that you couldn't have married women on your bridal party. At the time I had no one to talk to about this so I took her word. None of my friends are married so they weren't any help either and I never been to a wedding. Now I know that it doesn't matter. The girls in my BP are friends who have been there for me when times were tough and for my happy times too.
I think she was disappointed but she never said anything to me or FH. Everyone who I tell that FSIL isn't in my bridal party acts like Im committing a cardinal sin or something telling me what I did was wrong. We asked her to do a reading at church so she could be included in the wedding. Today my co-worker made me feel like crap by saying how could I do such a thing? That if she was my FSIL she wouldn't bother coming to my wedding. So now I feel worse. Ugh please tell me Im not alone here...
futuremrsfab
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I the only one????
My FSIL is in my bridal party- her and FH are extremely close and it was important to him. I never really knew her well because she lives in Albany & we only see her on holidays etc- but I really feel like asking her to be in the bridal party has strengthened our relationship.
If you want to ask your FSIL now, I am sure that she would be honored.
oktom22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I the only one????
Posted by jtgarsik
Posted by FtrMrsV
Well I thought about asking her now but Im concerned because she knows I ordered the BM dresses because FH told her. I don't know what she is going to think if I ask her now.
sorry - newlywed crashing. of course there are no 'rules' when planning..BUT if u 'love her to death' and u know she's hurt, AND you'd like to have her be a part of ur wedding, you need to talk to her about it...in all honesty if u just ask her without addressing anything - she probably will be insulted..i know i would find it a little wierd.. so you need to talk & explain the situation and why you thought u couldn't have her in it..if u tell her exactly what you just told us - i'm SURE she'll understand...she may even just laugh about it ya know??? but i wouldn't let to much time go by.... nip it in the bud now ...good luck!
I definitely agree...I would explain why you didn't ask her in the first place, that someone (I wouldn't name who...don't want to disrespect grandma) told you that you couldn't have any married women...but you now realize that it's your day and you would love and be honored if she would share it with you in that way.
Future Mulligan
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I the only one????
i would ask her - but to be honest if i was your FSIL i would think that your reasoning was BS - just because even though its the truth it sounds hard to believe that you thought married women werent supposed to be in the bridal party - thats jmo and i dont mean to be harsh or anything but unless you were living under a rock i would find that reasoning very strange if i was your FSIL - i hope it all works out for you
