Am I the Only One?

Am I the only one NOT having an e-party??? It seems like everyone on LIW has had one or is planning one. FIL's offered to throw us one (one of the only things they have offered to do for the wedding ) but I don't really want one:

- I just had a somewhat large graduation party in January.
- I feel like it is such a big production and for many it is almost like a second wedding. I really don't feel like getting invites, favors, guest list, etc.
- I feel like people may be less generous when it comes around to your wedding because they already gave a gift, especially in these times.
- Personally, I don't like being invited to engagement parties because I feel like it is just a cry for gifts.
(Sorry if I am being pessimistic/Debbie Downer/Scrooge... I am PMSing badly so I have an excuse!!!)

Does anyone else feel this way? Am I the lone LI-Wedding-er with no e-party? If you weren't totally psyched for an e-party to begin with, what made you change your mind? FIL's stalk us about it EVERY DAY....

At first I didn't care about an eparty. We've actually been engaged well over a year and we're having an eparty this summer.

I want an eparty- but nothing fancy. We're having a casual, outdoor BBQ. I dont expect our guests to bring gifts. I just want them to come, have fun, and get to know each other.

I don't want a big show...I just want beer, food, and laid back fun.

we had one... but we didnt want a big e-party that was basically like a mini-wedding....we just wanted to have our immediate family there to meet one another and to celebrate with us.

do whatever is best for you and fh though...if you don't want one then don't have one...but if you decide to have one you could just do something really small and intimate.

i wasnt 100% on it at first...but then i was given the mother...grandmother...and my great grandmother's (god rest her soul) guilt....so thats why my mind change...

it has acutally not been such a production as i thought!! its been really fun helping my mom plan it!

my parents are throwing it for us as an engagment gift and we are only inviting immediate family and very close friends.....so it doesnt feel like a 2nd wedding to me and that was very important to me that it didnt feel like that!

the gift thing? i dont feel like were 'crying' for gifts....if i get them, great...if not no big deal!
(and in my family we buy gifts for very little thing..including halloween...so...)

i think its whatever you would like it to be!

HTH

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Posted by MarjorieFrank

Am I the only one NOT having an e-party??? It seems like everyone on LIW has had one or is planning one. FIL's offered to throw us one (one of the only things they have offered to do for the wedding ) but I don't really want one:

- I just had a somewhat large graduation party in January.
- I feel like it is such a big production and for many it is almost like a second wedding. I really don't feel like getting invites, favors, guest list, etc.
- I feel like people may be less generous when it comes around to your wedding because they already gave a gift, especially in these times.
- Personally, I don't like being invited to engagement parties because I feel like it is just a cry for gifts.
(Sorry if I am being pessimistic/Debbie Downer/Scrooge... I am PMSing badly so I have an excuse!!!)

Does anyone else feel this way? Am I the lone LI-Wedding-er with no e-party? If you weren't totally psyched for an e-party to begin with, what made you change your mind? FIL's stalk us about it EVERY DAY....

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I totally feel the same way as you do. I am not having an e-party either. Its hard enough planning the wedding, I dont think I can handle the extra stress of another party. I also feel if people want to give you gifts for your engagement they will with or without a party

not having one either. it's not even something our families/friends do. I actually 1st heard about big e-parties on here. For us its just the parents (in my case my aunt, uncle and cousins and FMIL) get together with us: get to know each other and eat (a lot!). presents are just house stuff like towels and sheets, and that's totally not mandatory.

nope didnt and not having one. It never really crossed my mind because we are footing almost 100% of the wedding bill I knew even before I was engaged that it wasnt happening. Some of the points you made I agree with in any case.

I wouldve really liked to have a big dinner though at a really nice restaurant with our whole wedding party if we couldve afforded it. o well

You're not alone!

We're having one, but not a big to do at all. Like you, I just had a big Graduation Party in January, and we're saving up for the Wedding so we don't want to go crazy.

He has a pretty big family so we want them to get to know my family. And we have a 26 person bridal party so we want them all to get to know each other too. And we just want to have fun and chill!

We are having one mainly because both of our extended families have never met - and probably won't get a chance to til the wedding (if we didnt have an e-party). Both of our families our HUGE parts of each of our lives, and I have been widely accepted into his as he has been with mine - so we want everyone to get together before hand. We arent doing anything fancy - just a backyard BBQ at FIL's. Also, it's an excuse to have a BBQ!



ETA: Also, we want to celebrate our engagement with all of the people who we love most in our lives together (closest family & bridal party)

We originally wanted to have one so our families could meet, we later on chose not to. We decided it was not practical to have an engagement party in today's economy. Our wedding is costing a lot of money and I just didn't want our parents spending more on an engagement party, as well. And honestly, planning a wedding is enough. I don't know how others plan an engagement party and a wedding at the same time; I give you props for doing all of that (please, don't take offense to my opinion). But me, I just can't handle all that planning, I'll lose my mind.

We are thinking of having a really casual thing in my parent's backyard this summer. Partly as an e-party but more so that everyone here can have a chance to get to meet FH and FSD...he's been in Ohio this whole time and hasn't been able to meet many of my friends...he still has not met one of my BMs even lol.

So it'd be half eparty half 'meet my fiance' party

And I'll probably write on the invite 'Please no gifts' or something like that...it feels greedy to ask people for a gift then AND at my shower AND at the wedding.