I told my co-worker today who I am really close with that since she is single I am only inviting her and not a her and plus one. She looked at me like I am insane. I told her that if her relationship status changes then I would change her invite listing. I dont feel like I should pay for a guest that she is not even in a relationship with or for her brother. She will be with other ladies that she know.....
JLWSJC
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't think you're wrong for not adding a +1 but I don't know that I would have said anything now... since there is so much time for things to change, I think I would have left the window open for myeslf to do what I feel is right when it's time for invites to go out.
That being said, people in general need to chill the eff out when it comes to other people's weddings. They get so damn insulted over every little thing...GAH! You're invited! That's enough!
haitianbeautie
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
which is what I told her....she told me the proper thing to do is to give a plus one...i told her she can do the proper thing when it is her wedding....I need to know how to keep my mouth shut!!!!!!!
Tromsugar2b
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
........hmm in my opinion i am going to invite all of my close friends with a plus one, i do expect that since we are freinds if they are not in a relationship that they will respectfully not cost me another plate just for the hell of it....but i will give them a choice...and like you said her relationship status may change so i think saying that ouright may have offended her....also the fact that your other freinds may have different relationship statuss in the future and if she ends up the only one not in a relationship then she may feel upset that she cannot bring a date....also another scenario ... if she starts dating someone what is the limit for how long they need to be dating before she gets a plus one....a week ? a month? 3 months? I just think as a 2011 bride this is a while off and she may have been offended that you've already decided for her, when theres alot of time for things to change.
haitianbeautie
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was going to be the rule for all my single guests ......granted I know it is really early but we were having a conversation about how many people I was inviting so that is how it came out...i wasnt trying to offend her
JLWSJC
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
Read this... AND the comments. I agree completely with all of it.
I personally am inviting everyone with guest. But like many of you i hope people respect the idea of it. I hate when people purposely bring someone that was obv. not invited to the wedding. GRRR like when a girlfriend brings a girl that wasnt invited!!
haitianbeautie
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by JLWSJC
Read this... AND the comments. I agree completely with all of it.
I dont know I understand weddings are expensive but i rly think everyone should be invited with a plus one and if they are a true friend they will know not to invite someone theyre not serious with if they know you are on a budget.
Bee12
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
i totally agree.... im not paying for anyone's flavor of the week but i agree with the ladies above.. no need to decide plus + for your single friends this far in advance... i understand you need a est. count for budget but i have placed a buffer for additional guests so i dont have to worry to much about +1's
haitianbeautie
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
it not that I am deciding for her but we were having a casual conversation and I was telling her what I was thinking.....nothing is set in stone...
Bee12
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
agreed. but after being engaged for 6mths... for me, at least, i cant just throw ideas out there with certain people... for them, it is set in stone.... im @ peace since a LIW bride told me to keep things between myself, FH and whoever is funding the weddings... making things a whole lot easier...
well @ least for now
haitianbeautie
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Posted by Sunshine15
agreed. but after being engaged for 6mths... for me, at least, i cant just throw ideas out there with certain people... for them, it is set in stone.... im @ peace since a LIW bride told me to keep things between myself, FH and whoever is funding the weddings... making things a whole lot easier...
well @ least for now
I think I will take that advice...mums the word.....
Tromsugar2b
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
yea i really wasnt trying to say you are wrong at all...i just think when it comes to the wedding everyone has an opinion and its not always going to coincide with yours! I say as little as possible to people!
Im getting Married
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to a few friends (both single and in relationships) in casual conversation that we are not +1'ing anybody b/c our room holds a limited # of people (I even threw in that we are not having children, except from the bridal party either). I also explained that we want a very intimiate wedding..luckily no one every said anything or took offense.
Not to say that you can not make decisions about your wedding but maybe try to word them differently b/c everyone seems to take things offensively when it comes to weddings
Panamasweet
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dont think you are wrong at all. I have guest that are not married and are currently not in a relationship and I have no intentions on inviting them plus anyone. Thier RSVP card will state 'One seat has been reserved in your honor'. I am having a smaller wedding, 100pp, so seats are limited and I am not going to pay for someone I dont know to eat just becasue my guest didnt want to come alone. If they are really my friends they will understand that we are paying for this mostly ourselves and money is tight.
MikesBride2B
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you don't have a significant other by the time we send our invites out (and by that I mean if you have not been dating someone SERIOUSLY by that time) then you are not getting invited with a guest. We are having a small wedding and I'd really prefer not to meet people for the first time on my wedding day.
If people don't like that, then they don't have to come.
FutureJOC
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am personally inviting everyone with a +1 who is over 18, but our guest list is not that big (like if I took all the +1's out we don't even meet the minimum for our RH - so my situation's a little different). I'm sure that if I had a much bigger wedding I might reconsider inviting someone with a +1 cuz that could start to add up to a lot of $$.
WeezyGirl2354
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone's situation is different - and you have to do what you feel is best for your wedding. If she is going to pop an attitude about it, IMO that shows her character as a person.
As for me - I am doing the 6 month rule for my friends. If they have been with someone for 6 months or longer, they will be invited with a guest. But if not - sorry, you are going solo. I don't want to look back on my pics and video and me like '*** is that?' LOL I do have some older family members I have to invite with a guest (due to their husbands or wives passing) but I think for older generation people, that's understandable.
You do have some time - and if it was a casual convo about this, your friend should understand that. She could meet the man of her dreams tomorrow and by the time your wedding comes around, it won't be an issue.
AutumnBride2011
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Re: am I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, I've been going back and forth on this with my FH for the same reason; because we're trying to figure out a head count for these RH's...so I totally understand. However, i'm seeing more and more that alot of the ladies here are right; you can't tell everyone everything. One of my close friends who just got married has forwarned me that there's something about weddings - people just say and do the most retarded things. Me and my FH are going to go the route of inviting everyone with a +1. We are going to give people the option. I totally agree with the whole 'flavor of the month' thing though. My FH has a cousin that goes through more ladies than a car repair shop goes through tires!!! It's rediculous, but yet and still we most likely will give him the '+1' option to be polite. Though, if for budgeting reasons we are not able to do this for everyone, the people whom are not in relationships or who are single may be the first ones we decide NOT to give this option to on a case-by-case basis. And if this ends up being the case, i will not be made to feel bad nor will i allow others to guilt me into doing something that I know I cannot afford. In the end it's YOUR WEDDING day and people just have to get over it......otherwise trying to be a people pleaser will end up making you do this------->
