So Mike and I went to Mens wearhouse to order the tuxedos. We picked out what we want them to wear and told the guys they have to go get measured and Pay for them. The guys are wearing Lilac Vests. Groom and RB are wearing White vest and we got black vests for the dads and mike grandfather. When Mike tells his dad his dad says how much do the cost? Mike said about 120.00 Well his dad says Ill just wear my own Tuxedo then. WHAT???? No you will wear the one we picked out for u to wear. Besides the fact that the Tuxedo he has is from the 80's and has a cumberbun not the vest that matches the design of all the guys. I can't believe he said that. My mother was like WHAT... We are paying xx,xxx for a wedding and he is crying over 120.00. Now if he had no money that would be a different story... but he makes more money then my father. And hasn't given us a DIME. When we got engaged Mikes mother said I already paid for my daughters wedding so I am done I don't have to pay for anymore. Thats great but you paid for the reception (which was very nice but not for the 'wedding' they paid for their own flowers, photo, limo,church etc etc etc). That would be like one of the Bridesmaids saying Ill just wear my own dress. W T F! Am I wrong. Am I being selfish or sounding stuckup a biatch a baby... I don't mean to but it just really got to me.
Marisa&Brian
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Re: AM I wrong? Am I being Selfish, stuck up snotty?
I'm sorry - I disagree. This is going to sound kind of snotty - But who are you to tell your FFIL what he can and can not wear ?? - The groomsmen, yes of course they match. - But as far as the fathers, grandfathers etc. - I personally think it's totally their choice - I can understand your being upset if the $$ is the issue........but as far as you picking out his outfit - no. Did you tell your mom what her gown had to be ?
suven
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Re: AM I wrong? Am I being Selfish, stuck up snotty?
I just had my own experience with 'dominating' people today. To make a long story short, my mom made a phone call and said, 'we've reserved X, Y, and Z for you. You will need to be there. Sorry if this is any inconvience to you, but this is the way the bride and I need it to be for the wedding.'
Low and behold, the difficult person responded by saying, 'Ok, whatever you need, I'll do.' If I were to tell you all of the background, you'd NEVER believe that this person would have caved in.
070502
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Re: AM I wrong? Am I being Selfish, stuck up snotty?
My husband wore a navy tux with a short jacket (his AF Uniform) and the rest of the guys wore black 80's tuxes like you have called them... they instead called them 'james bond style' rather then 'DJ style' which is what they called the vest look.
Long story short you can tell anything and my FIL is in maybe 10 pictures out of 450 proofs and in most the bridal party isn't even in the shot.
I say chill out, if you know the man is cheap then just deal with it. If it bothers you so much pay have your fiance talk to his dad or have your fiance pay for his dad's tux this shouldn't even be a concern of yours.
PS. My FIL would never wear Lilac. Heck we are lucky he even wore a tux
LIJuneBride
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Re: AM I wrong? Am I being Selfish, stuck up snotty?
If it is that important to you, I would tell him that you would really appreciate it if he would rent the tux with the guys because you would like them all to coordinate. If he says no, then ask him to at least rent or buy the matching vest. If he still says no, what can you do???
Personally, it wouldn't bother me. Both my father and my FH's father have passed away, and we'd be happy if they were there at all - they could wear anything they want. I try to think about things like that and it puts all the little things into perspective.
jill13bean
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Re: AM I wrong? Am I being Selfish, stuck up snotty?
i have to say i would agree that i would allow him to wear what he wants... it is not your bridal party.... maybe you can update it like someone said and get a vest but i dont think it is important
let people make fun of him but it wont reflect on you
Samanthas Mom
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Re: AM I wrong? Am I being Selfish, stuck up snotty?
tell him it is not a lot of money and you want everyone to look uniform in the pics! and since he is the grooms dad and will be in a lot of your pics, its very important to you
skew
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Re: AM I wrong? Am I being Selfish, stuck up snotty?
i understand your point and i would be upset too becuase he seems to be very unreceptive to your needs. could your FI talk to him?
i know it is a very stressful time and you want everything to go smoothly and everyone to cooperatate, but if he is making that much of an issue over it and flat out refuses then i would just let it go.
RedHead
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Re: AM I wrong? Am I being Selfish, stuck up snotty?
Just a thought....if this is about the money...you and your FH pay for the tux. If it is going to make YOU happy that he wears what you want him too, pay for it. I know it is not the point and i know you shouldn't have to but if it makes you happy...do it. What is 120 for peace of mind? Chump change!
june262004
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Re: AM I wrong? Am I being Selfish, stuck up snotty?
Thanks everyone.
Just wanted to update: Today FH said Everyone went to his dads. He was talking to him and he pretended that his dad never said he would wear his own. He said You and So and So are the only ones that have to get measured. His dad kind of gave him a strange look. And said How much was it again 80.00 right? Mike said no 120.00 he huffed and puffed but it looks like he might do it. It was really him just beinging cheap and HAVING LOTS of money that REALLY bothered me.
RedHead
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Re: AM I wrong? Am I being Selfish, stuck up snotty?
Posted by june262004
Thanks everyone.
Just wanted to update: Today FH said Everyone went to his dads. He was talking to him and he pretended that his dad never said he would wear his own. He said You and So and So are the only ones that have to get measured. His dad kind of gave him a strange look. And said How much was it again 80.00 right? Mike said no 120.00 he huffed and puffed but it looks like he might do it. It was really him just beinging cheap and HAVING LOTS of money that REALLY bothered me.
I am happy that this is no longer something that you have to worry about!
You better think nice thoughts of him and talk kindly because he isn't being a pain and he could have! BE GRACIOUS...
KarenK122
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Re: AM I wrong? Am I being Selfish, stuck up snotty?
The father of the groom is not in your bridal party and does not have to match anyone. Sorry but I think if he wants to wear his own then thats fine. Honestly no one will probably know the difference.
