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Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

Original post by MikeandJess

Sometimes i need you girls to keep me grounded and let me know when I'm being downright crazy. This weekend I found out that FH's parents are paying for his bachelor party. Most of you know my situation but his parents are not paying anything towards this wedding. In my mind, this is them making a point of how much they don't approve of me. They won't drop a dime when I'm involved but they'll pay for FH's bachelor party Not only that but they always mention how they're following tradition and traditionally the brides parents pay for the wedding, well then traditionally shouldn't they pay for the RD? I don't get why they're paying for the bachelor party it just doesn't make sense to me. I honestly feel like they're doing this to hurt me. Please don't quote me I'm going to take this down because we're not supposed to know that his parents are paying for his bachelor party. Thanks girls
MikeandJess Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

Posted by nifheim

i have to say that is completely RUDE. I have no problem as a parent saying no to paying for your child's wedding (my parents are not) but to pay for a bach party 100% and not do anything else is completely messed up.


I'd honestly rather have them not pay for anything
MikeandJess Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

Posted by nifheim

i have to say that is completely RUDE. I have no problem as a parent saying no to paying for your child's wedding (my parents are not) but to pay for a bach party 100% and not do anything else is completely messed up.


I'd honestly rather have them not pay for anything
Kerin2804 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

I am ssssooo sorry about them. They should not be included on the invite - Paying for a BP is not contributing. Yes, if they were following 'tradition' then they would be paying for the RD.

bella1028 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

i do not think you are being crazy at all...it is not right...and i am sorry
MJDoc12 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

wow---that is a bit effed up---like a passive agressive way to stick it to you.

MikeandJess Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

thanks girls. Maybe we can all have a GTG and TP their house?

JeanetteandSteve Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

that is so odd to me. i would be really upset by that. i don't want to quote you or say anything leading but i'll just say i've NEVER heard of that!! and i would feel the same way you do, i would take it personally.

i'm sorry, i totally get why you're upset. and that is absolutely NOT contributing to the wedding!! i agree w jenn...it's actually pretty inappropriate in my book.

ant n tilde Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

you are not crazy, i would be upset too

i can only hope that their intentions are good!
chrispar Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

Honestly I would take it exactly the same way as you are which really is shiitty on their part and I can only imagine how it must make you feel. I'm sorry that they treat you the way that they do.
MikeandJess Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

Posted by ant n tilde

you are not crazy, i would be upset too

i can only hope that their intentions are good!


you're a really good person matilde, you always look for the good in everyone and all their actions
ant n tilde Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

Posted by MikeandJess

Posted by ant n tilde

you are not crazy, i would be upset too

i can only hope that their intentions are good!


you're a really good person matilde, you always look for the good in everyone and all their actions


no i am really not i can only say that i HOPE their intentions were good i didnt say i THINK their intentions are good

eta: but thank you!
jgl Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

that is horrible i think you have every right to be upset

has your FH said anything to his parents... is he on your side with this?
MikeandJess Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

Posted by jgl

that is horrible i think you have every right to be upset

has your FH said anything to his parents... is he on your side with this?


He is but he has trouble standing up to his parents, he's a stepchild and it is a really long story but he's always been reprimanded when he spoke up for himself so he stopped doing it a long time ago. I was shocked because a few weeks ago he had a huge blow out fight with his parents over me and the wedding and he called up his father to yell at him, he NEVER does that.
empressdani Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

Posted by MJDoc12

wow---that is a bit effed up---like a passive agressive way to stick it to you.



I feel the same....so sorry!
Luvbsb4eva Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

That is so effed up... I wouldn't include them on either invite!
dannisayz Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

I am in a similar situation to yours. FH's parents are divorced. FFIL is being very generous and helping us pay for our honeymoon. FMIL has done NOTHING. She has not spent a dime on either of us. Not even a card. I feel your pain.

Feel free to FM me and vent.
mrspalomino148 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

Posted by MikeandJess

Posted by mrspalomino148

Posted by MikeandJess

Posted by mrspalomino148

i don't even know what to say ... how does FH respond to all of this?? If that were my parents I would be soo embarressed by them, I don't understand some people in this world ... so sorry


He actually didn't realize how messed it up was until I pointed it out. It came up because we were talking about not adding their names on the invitation, just my parents because they're contributing but FH ran the wording by his sister and she told him we may want to re-think the wording because his parents are contributing and she said they plan on paying for his bachelor party, but to me, this is not contributing. When I told FH this he apologized on their behalf.


that is defiantly not contributing in my opinion either, I would have such a hard time putting there names on my invites ... and at least your Fh is a good man, and understands that this is not right.


I wasn't going to post this but it's so funny I can't not post it. The invitations that are going to my parents friends and my family have my parents name on it and the invitations going to FH's friends and family will read together with their families. I can't believe I admitted to that on here


good for you!
anamaree77 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

This is really terrible, would FH have a talk with them?
DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

I'm sorry but contributing for his Bachelor Party is NOT contributing to the wedding in my book- you're absolutely right to feel the way that you do - I would let his parents know that since your family is paying for the wedding that your family should be mentioned as the hosts for the wedding.

That is so messed up I wish you can let him know that you know about his folks paying for the party.
Collweenie21 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong for being upset? (a little long, sorry)

Grr.. Jess so sorry you are going through this. But it is outright wrong. They are shunning you out in a nonchalant (sp?) sort of way. I have NEVER heard of parents paying for any bachelor OR bachelorette party. FH needs to tell them nicely, no thank you... my GM are paying for that, but we sure could use it towards the RD. HTH

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