Well let me explain, yesterday FI and I were at his moms house because he wanted to wash our cars over there, well his stepfather was trying to be funny and say wow the big day is coming you ready to sign you live away? I hate that but anyways the conversation keeps going and saying to FI so you are going to have a stripper for your bachelor party and me saying that FI and I discussed we might be having a joint party. But his mom and stepfather and brother said but how about his friends surprise him with a stripper if we had it seperatly and me frustrated with this conversation said if I do find out that he does have a stripper I'm cancelling the wedding. Seriously I meant it because I hate strippers I don't like the idea of it all even for myself. My friends know I don't like that. Well I left because I started crying and I went home and let me remind you this was 12pm and he didn't get home till 830pm. He was acting like a baby and told me I acted dumb. I told him we discussed that I don't like strippers and so if it happens it happens but I don't like it. I can't explain why I don't like it and he said he wouldn't leave because his friend paid for it. I said whatever. But then he says but baby I'm marrying you not the stripper and I have always respected and never disrespected you.
Girls what should I feel, mad or just let it go. It still hurts but I can't do anything and I hate that his family and some friends are saying what's up with her. Like what's my problem. They are so stupid to me. AAAAHHHHH had to vent.
Advise please.
JandJ1224
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
I completely understand what your feeling. My FH and I also were talking about having a joint type of bachelor/bachelorette party. Now all of a sudden he is talking about Atlantic City and something came up about a stripper. I think that is totally disgusting and I don't want him to have a stripper PERIOD! I told him if he dares to be present with a stripper then I will take it upon my self to strip at someone elses party (where do I come up with this stuff!) Anyway I understand how you feel hurt and disrespected, you just have to trust that FH wouldn't disrespect you! He is a good guy thats why your marrrying him, remember!!
October Bliss
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
I have to agree with your FH. He is marrying you - not some stripper. If the rest of what you typed is true - that he has never disrespected you - then I think you are blowing it completely out of proportion to say that you will cancel the wedding if his friends hire one to show up, or take him to a strip club.
That is not to say that you can't make your feelings known, and you have, but it's time to let it go.
thefirstlady
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
I hate the whole stripper thing too, but think of it this way. It's one time that you'll have to deal w/ people getting him a stipper. AND- If he's never given you a reason to not trust him before, than why now? What he said is true, you are the one he wants to marry, and you are marrying him because you can trust him. It s$%^& when family and friends get involved in that situation, and everyone has their own opinion. But keep in mind the trust and respect you have for each other, and try to look at this as a 'rite of passage'. It's a dumb ritual that guys think is cool, and we think is utterly pointless and disgusting!
idovig
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
This is what I needed true honestly. I also apologized to his mother for saying that but also letting her know I said it out of anger and that it's just I don't like it. But true he has never disrespected me. My eyes look like I have been in a fight because I was crying so much last night.
JessicaM.
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
Posted by October Bliss
I have to agree with your FH. He is marrying you - not some stripper. If the rest of what you typed is true - that he has never disrespected you - then I think you are blowing it completely out of proportion to say that you will cancel the wedding if his friends hire one to show up, or take him to a strip club.
That is not to say that you can't make your feelings known, and you have, but it's time to let it go.
Veronica, I have to agree. it's one thing not to like strippers, but to suggest that you would alter your life if one was hired for your fh's b-party...that's way out there.
I know it hurts and you are sensitive to it, but we all know that especially with bachelor's parties...they are not really for the groom- they are for their other friends. I am sure your fh's respects you and his commitment to you enough to not do anything that would take away from that.
take a step back, relax, and continue planning. don't let other people start arguments bet. the two of you...and NEVER let them see you sweat!
Shorty McBride
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
ahhh, strippers.....It's a personal decision. I'm on YOUR SIDE here.
I cannot STAND strippers.
If one magically 'shows up' at FH's BP, and he stays, there will be no wedding. He has made it a point to tell his GM that....maybe your FH should, too!
MissingTheBGene
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
Posted by October Bliss
I have to agree with your FH. He is marrying you - not some stripper. If the rest of what you typed is true - that he has never disrespected you - then I think you are blowing it completely out of proportion to say that you will cancel the wedding if his friends hire one to show up, or take him to a strip club.
That is not to say that you can't make your feelings known, and you have, but it's time to let it go.
I agree. If your FH never gave you a reason to not trust him, I know that personally you dislike it, but I think you need to look past it. Schedule some self pampering time when you know he's having his party, or plan a night out with the girls to get your mind off it. In the end, he's saying 'I do' to you, and no one else.
idovig
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
Posted by MissingTheBGene
Posted by October Bliss
I have to agree with your FH. He is marrying you - not some stripper. If the rest of what you typed is true - that he has never disrespected you - then I think you are blowing it completely out of proportion to say that you will cancel the wedding if his friends hire one to show up, or take him to a strip club.
That is not to say that you can't make your feelings known, and you have, but it's time to let it go.
I agree. If your FH never gave you a reason to not trust him, I know that personally you dislike it, but I think you need to look past it. Schedule some self pampering time when you know he's having his party, or plan a night out with the girls to get your mind off it. In the end, he's saying 'I do' to you, and no one else.
that's what he said.
SIBride06
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
Wow honey,, I completely understand how you feel.. My FFIL is infamous for opening his big mouth... He has oral diareah as I call it. As for the strippers, no matter what, there is nothing we can do about it... I hate those skank whores too, but, unfortunately its a tradition with these bachelor parties. If you trust your FH, (which Im sure you do because afterall, you are marrying him), you should have nothing to worry about. I know this all sounds easy to take itn but when it comes down to it, the thought of 'strippers' makes you want to cringe.- I know, I know. I learned that there are some things in life I have absolutely no control over. Strippers being one of them. Keep reminding yourself of all the wonderful reasons why you are marrying him...and just think.. He only has one bachelor party.. THANKFULLY this is not something he will have every weekend!
M&S Sept12006
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
I think that because his parents instigated the whole situation thats what really got to you. Sweetie, a stripper is a stripper, they're there to entertain and make their money thats all. Like your FH said-you're the sweet love of his life that he is marrying not the stripper...I honestly laugh at the whole stripper thing...I always tell my FH, you can do whatever you feel you want to do as long as you dont disrespect me. If for any reason you decide to do something that would hurt or disrespect me and I dont find out, you're the one who is going to have to live with it not me...
ewickens
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
I agree with you about the stripper - he should respect your wishes and be able to have a good time without one. There's gambling, there's drinking, there's laughing, but there is no need for semi-naked women to be grinding your FH. He should be happy with you and satisfied and not even need to consider it.
My FH and I had this conversation and he said he didn't want one involved with his and neither did I, so we made a point of saying that to our families and friends and they have respected our wishes. Your and his family should do the same for you!
Preshy7
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
i think its wrong for his parents to start with you- they seem to have been provoking you and that is plain mean
i do think your comments are a tad overbaord about cancelling the wedding- strippers are just out to make money ive taken clients to strip clubs- i know how they operate- they work for a buck- thats all
fh has no interest in having strippers, however, if his friend wants to plan that for him (or for their own enjoyment) i am not going to stop them - i am not going to be the girl that tells him what he can and cant do at his bachelor party. i know he would never do anything stupid and disrespect me- so you need to trust your fh- that is why you are marrying him- trust
cantwait2bewed
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
girl dont even worry about it. I understand your feelings but those strippers dont look better than u anyways. He wouldnt do anything to hurt you.
Beth1210
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
Strippers are to bachlor parties as flowers are to a wedding- it's just part of it- I wouldn't stress about it or let it bother you
Jake HATES strippers- but his freinds got him one- and all he could say was she was gross and ugly-
but like Preshy said- it's a bussiness to the girls- they are just doing a job-
don't stree- it' s not like he goes to the clubs every weekend- it's one night-
Blu-ize
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
If it bothers you so much-can he let it go? Can your in-laws just cut out the crap? His relationship with his family is really what's bugging you. They need to stay out of it. Your FH probably thought it was funny and didn't think so much of it and his parents were probably egging him on. That's kids stuff. Are we 14?
I agree with you that your wishes should be honored. He did not stand by your side this time..that's the issue. He stood with them.
ellebelle1
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
You were NOT wrong at all. They were acting completely disrespecful of you. Those men need to grow up. I think your feelings are a little more important then having some naked !@#$ do a dance for the boys, right before your wedding. Sorry, but getting married doesn't allow the boys to go astray for one night.
leese
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
Girl, I can sympathize with you!!!!
Now, I am a total hypocrite because I am going to Hunkamania on Saturday night and I still cringe thinking about my FH going to VEGAS next week.
I was never like this until about six months ago. I never had a problem with him doing anything but something changed inside me. Not that I don't want him to go to a strip club, but not being down for lap dances, etc. I never used to care but then I heard about side rooms and how groom's are treated....and I freaked out.
I've realized that it was the idea of the party and the anticiaption of it. That doesn't mean I haven't said things, and am not 100% happy that he is going (or who he is going with), I know all will be well.
You are entitled to your feelings and your limits. There is nothing wrong with a bride not wanting her fiance to go to a strip club at all!
kittythestray
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
I don't think you're wrong, it's how you feel. You can't help how you feel. We all may agree or disagree, but in the end it's between you and your FH. If he knows it's somethign really important to you than there should be a way to compromise or make you feel better.
drtrish03
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Re: Am I wrong for saying.......
Posted by JessicaM.
Posted by October Bliss
I have to agree with your FH. He is marrying you - not some stripper. If the rest of what you typed is true - that he has never disrespected you - then I think you are blowing it completely out of proportion to say that you will cancel the wedding if his friends hire one to show up, or take him to a strip club.
That is not to say that you can't make your feelings known, and you have, but it's time to let it go.
Veronica, I have to agree. it's one thing not to like strippers, but to suggest that you would alter your life if one was hired for your fh's b-party...that's way out there.
I know it hurts and you are sensitive to it, but we all know that especially with bachelor's parties...they are not really for the groom- they are for their other friends. I am sure your fh's respects you and his commitment to you enough to not do anything that would take away from that.
take a step back, relax, and continue planning. don't let other people start arguments bet. the two of you...and NEVER let them see you sweat!
I completely agree with you Jessica. You have definitely made your feelings known. I'm sure that your FH is going to respect your feelings and not do anything dumb, even if they do get him a stripper. I agree, they are mostly for the friends anyway!!!!!
Love, love, love the fact that you said never let them see you sweat. Those words ring in my ears constantly with the stuff I deal with with FI's family. Families can be a b*tch, they can annoy the living he** out of ya, but never, ever, let them see you sweat!!!
