i wouldn't say you were wrong because that's how you feel. you should definitely let Fi know how you feel. you don't like strippers so you don't get strippers. but what i would say is you may have reacted. if his friends were to get him a stripper then you can't really do anything about it. but if you find out that he went did a little too much for comfort then fine.. don't marry the man. the stripper at a bachelor/lorette party is typical. like i said, if you don't want one and your girls comply with you then great for you.
idovig
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thank you ladies for all your advice.
M&LSept1606
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I'm not exactly going to jump up for joy if my FH has a stripper at his bachelor party- but I'm not really stressing over it either. Most men do this before their wedding. He's already decided to spend the rest of his life with you. The stripper is just entertainment. Don't sweat it...try to stay excited about the wedding and don't think about his bachelor party-it will just get you crazy!
MrsStefan
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I am 100% AGAINST strippers. I don't want some naked girl rubbin all up on my FH! While he is marrying YOU, not the stripper I DO think that he is most deinfatley disrespecting you for staying in the room and not REALLY pushing the issue with his friends. I think that it is TOTALLY disrespectful to have some naked chick rubbing all up on him (and you know he smiles, cause they are guys, and thats what guys do) when you asked him not too. I also think it is very disrespectful for his family/brother/friends to get the stripper knowing that you don't want him to have one. I have big issues with this topic. Errggg!!!
KandM2006
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Wellllllllll we had a bit of similar drama with the bachelor party!! (I think MOST people do!!) FH and I had decided early on that there would be no weekend trips or overnighters for either of us. APPARANTLY his groomsmen thought differently and he is now going to stay overnight in A.C. AFTER the HUGE argument we had where I didn't wanna see his face for a week, I came to terms with the fact that I am just NOT going to give in to these people and be mad 5 FREAKIN weeks before what's supposed to be the happiest and most important day of my life. I think that FH totally understands what I was upset about (not the overnight but the fact that WE had made a mutual decision that he didn't back up!!!) and I TRULY believe he will learn from this (HE FREAKIN BETTER!!!) MY way of feeling better is that now I will have 2 parties and go out 2 nights instead of one!!! Hope you find peace girl.......I'm totally understanding u!
stephanielyse
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akaMrsT
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You sound like FH. He is totally against strippers. FH thinks all strippers are whores He does not want one for his own party but I know his friends will get one (or two) for their own enjoyment.
I had to explain to FH that strippers are not out to do anything except MAKE MONEY. I know a few former strippers and have known them for years. They worked in upscale clubs in NYC and made $100K + in tips per year. Neither of them would ever risk their job by hooking up with a client.
A regular club is far worse than a strip club since the women at a regular club are out to hook up with someone for the night
I think you are right to let FH know that you do not like the idea of a stripper but to call off the wedding over it is extreme.
SillyBeans
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If he doesn't want a stripper, he should tell his Friends no. I agree with you, I don't like the idea of some pig being near My fiance My FI says He doesn't like strippers, so he better not have any!
idovig
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Posted by VeeandRich
If he doesn't want a stripper, he should tell his Friends no. I agree with you, I don't like the idea of some pig being near My fiance My FI says He doesn't like strippers, so he better not have any!
your funny
Laura&Phil
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Honestly, Fh and I had out B-parties this past weekend and most guys who say they don't like strippers aren't being 100% honest (our friends say the same thing in a mixed crowd but I know they all had their fun)...I think they like the show but wouldn't want to take them home. My FH had a good time and had more than a few lap dances- I'm cool with it and hope he was honest with me- that was my policy- he knew where the line was- his pants stay on- otherwise I won't interfere. I don't love the idea but I trust him and most of his friends. I did find out that one of my BM hubbys went into the Champagne room and I don't think I want to know what happened!
That being said, there are guys who don't like strippers and it's all for their friends so please don't think your guy isn't telling the truth. Knowing what the guys did I should have taken a few guys up on their offer for a dance instead of sticking with the girls....tho my friend and I made some money pole dancing (me dancing badly I might add!) so I had my fun and he had his....
Bottom line- you have to trust your guys and grin and bear it- they will have their fun if it's their b-party or another one....at least you know what's going on...it'll be OK and you were right to get annoyed at people not respecting your wishes.
69
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let's see..... if you would have asked me this when I was younger I would have blown a fuse bigtime.....I'm not one to believe strippers are the worst thing imaginable nor do I enjoy the thought of my FI or husband one day getting a lapdance..... however, for some dumb reason it is a ritual... men are easy minded.. they are more visual than women.. they really like to watch women walk let alone dance.... there's no way they can interact.. in fact some places have bouncers that stand right there.... it is more for the guys to play dumb... be guys.... I would say there is no harm in it... the family is inconsiderate knowing you don't like it though and pushing it..... If it happens, I'd say let it go and explain that it is not something you are comfortable with in the future.... Keep the mindset that most strippers are doing it for the money and it's just a job to them.... men are the suckers that actually think they like them when they are dancing!!!! How silly men are!!! and I second Jessica, never let them see you sweat!
hsacks23r
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I am with you 100%. Ist off the both of u dicused it, his stepfather should just keep his opinion to him self and not inclurage that when you BOTH decided that you were not going to allow strippers.
Wintersbride
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IMHO I think it's a little disrespectful how your IL's are pretty much insisting on something both yourself and your FI already agreed not to do. That's nice and all that they think it would be a lot of fun, but this is something that they should be respectful of the couple's wishes about. Honestly, try not to care so much about what others might think of you not liking strippers...it's disrespectful of women and disrespectful of the wife-to-be if it makes her that uncomfortable. It would be 1 thing if you were ok w/ it...or if you and FH did not agree to not have one. This is why I am not a fan of these types of parties because it can cause tension between the couple and that's not right. He's engaged, so he really has not been single, so what's the point? I don't blame you for being upset...even a little at FH because he knows how you feel about it and by him allowing it is in of itself a little disrespectful.
I wanted to add too, that I also feel for you w/ what they said about being 'tied down'. You almost want to say 'sorry your marriage is like that so you feel that way, but I don't feel that way about my FH'...I know, I'm mean , but heck...they are being mean too!
