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Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

iwannabmrsD Posted:

Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

little back ground..

my sister and i are 15 months apart in age. we never got along that great but hey she's my sister.. i still love her immensely. she's not my MOH because well like i said we're not that close, and two she's a jehovah witness.. as a JW she can't go into churches, or else she's vaporized or something (i'm sorry and don't mean to offend any JW's but it gets frustrating..) anyhoo.. so when she found out i was getting married and my mon asked if she was coming the answer was no.. i'm not coming cause its going to be held in a church (heck yeah i'm getting married in a church) but if Mina holds it out of a church i'll attend.. but i won't participate.. but if she gets married outside of a church by a judge (some rando secular perso) then i'll attend and participate..

well my mom actually asked me if i would consider getting married by some random judge outside in a yard somewhere so my sister could attend and be in my wedding.. i told my mom heck no.. (uh whose wedding is this?)

so after some additional negotaitions my mom convinced my sister to come to the reception (not totally please with this but whatever) and convinced me to allow her to be in the bridal party at the reception hall only.. i'm thought bout it nad was like okay.. she can be in the bridal party ,take pictures, in the morning and then after teh church ceremony and then at the reception hall walk in with us..

so i'm making accomodations.. i'm compromising.. i'n wheeling and dealing.. and then ... THEN today i get a phone call from my mom saying my sister is okay with the dress (like if she wasn't there was going to be a choice) but she wnats to add straps to hers! I got 5 bridesmaids and a maid of honor that i actually LIKE and they ain't putting straps on it.. why would i let her wear straps??? i told my mom absolutely NOT there would be NO straps on anyone's dresses and she could either where the dress as is, or she could not participate..

am i wrong? sorry this was long..
Autumn08 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

I've said this before... I've learned awhile ago not to include my mother in too much of the planning!
If your sister wants to add straps then she should call you not your mother!

ETA: You've been ccomodating enough I dont' think you are wrong.
AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

Personally, I want my girls to be comfortable and if adding straps to the dress will make them comfortable, than I would see no problem with it... but that's me.

If you want to have a completely uniform bridal party, than so be it.

Honestly though, the straps that will be added will probably be spaghetti straps that you'll barely see in pictures.

Good luck!!!
LnF0405 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

You are not wrong, your sister if she want to respect her religion is understandable but don't let her control YOUR wedding, if she will be the one getting marry I dont think you will be trying to tell her how and where to get marry.... Just calm down and tell her if you are going to wear it like that good if you dont like it I'm sorry.

kellybean Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

I dont think so you have already bent alot to accomadate her .....its a dress it isnt that big of a deal....HOWEVER if she used small spaghetti straps or something it might not be that noticable>

Yofei18 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

just let her wear the straps.. you have better things to worry about..

Also remember she will only be there part of the day.. you can take lots of pics with out her in them. :)
Mich0621 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

Wow! Stand your ground, you are not wrong! This is your wedding, and your mother should be digging her heels into your sis instead of asking you to compromise! You are being nice, and she should suck it up!

Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

i dont think you are wrong, but i do think that you gave in to much bigger and much more important details of your wedding - straps are the least of it

ama1771 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

sorry it's so frustrating. out of all my girls, my sister wants to add straps, and I told them all that I want them to feel comfortable. So my sister is adding spaghetti straps to hers

iwannabmrsD Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

u know what ladies.. i would say fugg it wear the straps.. but i know this will be the first of a million compromises.. next it'll be her hair,, and then her shoes.. and then where she's going to sit.. she's stated taht she can't sit at the bridal party tables.. dont know why.. i think it'd be easier if she'd just stay in arizona..
Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

Posted by iwannabmrsD

u know what ladies.. i would say fugg it wear the straps.. but i know this will be the first of a million compromises.. next it'll be her hair,, and then her shoes.. and then where she's going to sit.. she's stated taht she can't sit at the bridal party tables.. dont know why.. i think it'd be easier if she'd just stay in arizona..


i understand what you are saying, but those are small details that only you care about
guests dont care if she has straps
if her hair is different or she's wearing different shoes
they will be looking at YOU, not her
BNBride60 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

Honestly, I'd say NO STRAPS. You've been very accomodating of her. I know they won't show up in pictures, etc., etc. But, I agree with you - if you keep conceeding to her, you're going to have to continue to do this throughout the process. You don't want that. BUT - if I were you, I'd call her myself and explain this rather than going through your Mom.

AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

She's going to be the one where you really have to choose your battles. Compromise is going to be huge here since she has so many 'restrictions' (which I don't understand b/c it's my understanding that JW can celebrate weddings and anniversaries ). I would let her wear straps, but maybe compromise with her regarding other more important aspects. And if she's unwilling, let her know that if she can't compromise like you are willing to do, than she can back out and not be part of your day if that's what she wants.
Kris0703 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

It sounds like it's more of the principal to you then the straps. Got to admit, I wouldn't give in... just to make a point.

Nirvin Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

You made me laugh. It's really funny to me when people want you to make changes to your wedding in order to accomodate them!

Girl.. stick to your guns. You are completely right!
bella1028 Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

You are absolutely NOT wrong...do not second guess that!

Princess Cut Bride Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

Wow....you have compromised so much in order to include your sister in your special day. Did she give a reason as to why she wants to add straps?? I feel really bad that you have to deal with this unnecessary stress!
Good luck.!
iwannabmrsD Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

no.. no reason given.. but i'mma call her.. and talk to her.. we dont talk that often but i do want her there.... if possible. sigh.. whatcha gonna do.. u can change u'r friends but u'r stuck with u'r family.

Princess Cut Bride Posted:

Re: Am i wrong for this? (long but an entertaining read i promise!)

Posted by iwannabmrsD

no.. no reason given.. but i'mma call her.. and talk to her.. we dont talk that often but i do want her there.... if possible. sigh.. whatcha gonna do.. u can change u'r friends but u'r stuck with u'r family.



Awww...that's so true!!!!!

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