Am I wrong? (NWR)

Ok, if you found out that your FH's password for his computer is his first girlfriend's name, would you be mad? Well I had to log on to FH's computer this morning to check the road conditions, and I found out that his password is Julie****. So I'm like 'who's Julie?'. When he told me I got ****ed off, and so did our roomate (a female). We both think it's bull. He won't change it either; he said that it's easy for him to remember and it means nothing to him. So I said, 'well change it to my name or something that reminds you of me'. He won't. He said he's used this password for years and he uses it as his passwords for log-ins for a lot other stuff too, so it would be hard to change it everywhere and then have to remember a new password.
What do you all think? I can see his point, but the fact that he's using an old girlfriend's name just ticks me off. If my password's name were an old boyfriend's name, I'd change it without FH even having to ask me!

Guys are different in the guy world it makes sense why he wouldn't change it, doubt you should worry.

I would prolly be more worried that you didn't know of her..
But alas, think how hard it would be to crack his codes, who would guess its an x's name.

I would maybe ask when accounts are joint for him to switch them.

Hey Annie. I think I'd be a little miffed too!

I was once dating this guy Kevin and he has this ex who was still after him. Once she came into town to look for jobs (she had just finished a degree somewhere and wanted to move here...wonder why!) and stayed with him while she was looking. I wasn't thrilled about this, but figured it was ok since he was actually out of town that week on a consulting gig, so it's not like they were both there, right? Well, I called his house one day to leave a surprise nice message and got THIS message on the answering machine: 'HI! This is Amy. Kevin and I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message.' : EMO12: She had actually CHANGED his greeting to say that!

When I called him at his hotel later and told him how bothered I was by this, he wanted to know WHY. Can you believe??

I guess the point I am trying to make here is that MEN ARE CLUELESS when it comes to this kind of stuff!!

Still, while I agree that there is probably nothing to be worried about in your situation, I think that if this is something that bothers you, and you are marrying this guy, he should try to understand why it bothers you. I would maybe try to find some quiet time to talk to him again.

Btw, doesn't he have to change passwords often for security purposes?? I was surprised when you said how long he's kept this one...

Thank you Alison! I'm not worried at all about this girl - she's old old news. It just really annoys me that he would keep this password. I mean, he had to know that I would eventually find out . When I first started dating FH, he had just got out of a relationship with a girl (named Alison!) and I found a card that she'd sent him sitting right on his desk, right in front of my face. He didn't think it'd bother me that he kept it! (And of course inside the card she'd written stuff like, 'I still love you....' !! This girl had been calling him day and night even though she knew that he had started seeing me. Now, by the way, I find out that she's been e-mailing him (he told me this on Valentine's Day ). It shouldn't bother me because she's engaged, but she did tell FH that she's basically just marrying this guy for convenience (she's a young single mom). She thinks he's a nice guy and he has a good job, but he doesn't float her boat. ANYWAY, back to this Julie girl, I don't think it's a good idea for him to keep the same password for 10 years either. I'll have to try and talk to him about it again later. Men are just so clueless.....

I will not worry too much about it. I too believe that guys can be clueless about such things. I would definitly gives it a rest for a day or two. Speak to him when you are both calm. Just tell him why it bothers you and say that you do trust him but to think that he remembers this girl's name every day will bother you obviously. If he still insists that nothing is wrong, I will say that if he is put in the same situation where you are using an ex boyfriend's name as all your passwords, if he will not feel uncomfortable.
If he STILL thinks that is ok, then you may have to do one of two things:
1) Tell him that you trust him and will leave the situation as is but are not happy about it.
2) Be upset until he gives in which may not be wise since he will think that you do not trust him at all
3)Be strong and look past the situation since he is marrying YOU not Julie.

Hope this helps...

Karen

I'd be a bit ticked off too.
But try to let it roll off your back. As everyone else says, it's YOU he's marrying. And men ARE clueless, creatures of habit. Far be it for him to change a word that he's spent god knows how many years remembering! (sarcasm)

At least he GIVES you his password LOL!

Hmmmmmm. I KNOW I'd be p-d off b/c Len did the same thing.
He had the first 2 digits his son's bday and the last 2 his ex-s birthday.
I made him change it IMMEDIATELY. He said the same thing, I've had it forever, but I didnt care. So he changed it to make me feel better.

I wouldn't read too much into it tho', it doesnt mean anything to them. I just didnt like it at all, hee hee, I am just a brat

I agree with your feelings, I'd be upset too. My husband & his exwife having matching email addresses, it's their first name initial with part of my husbands last name. It makes me wanna puke, but I would never ask him to change it because he's had it forever & it is his name.
I do think that your FH should consider your feelings over his inconvience & do it just for that. You could also use the 'it's safer when you change your passwords periodicly anyway' line. Men are really dense when it comes to these issues, so go easy on him but make sure he knows how you feel.

edidted to say all hubbys passwords are about his daughter which I love

I would definatley be mad,but is there any other reason you feel you should also be upset?Do they keep in touch and so forth, just remember he is with you.But definatley tell him it bothers you!

I'm a brat too Liz but FH is an even bigger brat! If he asked me to change my password I'd do it no matter how much of pain it was. I guess we women always have to be the peacemakers....

I would be ****ed, too, but men are clueless. You said didn't he think you would find out evenyually- I bet he didn't even think of that- to him it is no big deal and he probably doesn't understand why you think it is.

Don't get me wrong, I would be ****ed too and probably make him change it, but I wouldn't worry if i was you.

I would too Annie, just to be respectful. The men tho' just don't think like us at all.
I say, if it bothers you that much, make him change it, I know I did, b/c if I let him keep it, it would eat me up day in day out, even tho' I know it doesnt mean ANYTHING. He should change it just to make you feel better.
After he changed it, I felt so special

The fact that he told you his password shows he has nothing to hide, but I would still be very annoyed. Clueless or not - just tell him it's hurtful

Thank you for all your comments! Now I don't feel like such a demanding wench!
I just had another talk with FH, this time with a much sweeter demeanor, and it seems to have worked. I suggested a couple of passwords for him to use to remind him of me and he said he still doesn't understand why this bothers me, but he'll change the password