I love Fh more then I ever thought I could ..I have finally learned to count on someone to always be there ...However tonight we were talking and I had gotten new NYS donor registery cards from work for the two of us..I filled mine out listing that yes I want every organ possibly used....and gave him his...he looked at it and said I dont need that...I thought it was because he already had one...turns out he doesnt want to donate ANY of his....its not a religious thing he just would ' prefer to keep his parts.' I just look at my kids and family when I think of things like this and would never want to lose my child because not enough people donate their organs...I think its insanely selfish....I cant even look at him right now and am getting very confused....I know it seems like a wierd thing to react too but I just see it as such a selfish act...your dead you dont need them, but someone else may ...am I wrong to be looking at him funny now?
laurak102476
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That's a tough one...it's a very personal decision, one that I have made, along with you, but I honestly don't know where my FH stands on the topic. Did he explain why he feels this way?
kellybean
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He would be more comfortable with all his stuff being where it belongs....but your dead it dosent matter...I mean its your soul that matters...at least that is what I have been taught
LuvMyAlfonse
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It's such a personal decision, I don't think you should judge him for it... You said it yourself 'I love FH more then I ever thought I could ..I have finally learned to count on someone to always be there'.
I'm an organ donor as well but I do understand why people wouldn't want to donate... they probably feel like they'd be losing a part of themselves even though they're dead.
If your FHs only 'flaw' in your eyes is that he doesn't want to donate his organs I'd say you have it pretty darn good!
Soon2BMrsD
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i think its personal prefrence and i personally wouldnt judge him b.c of this. im very iffy about this whole topic to be honest.. i just wouldnt want to give someone MY eyes MY heart or MY brain.. my liver kidneys that kinda stuff.. sure.. but everything else STAYS!
GinaBambina08
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No, I really don't think you should look at him funny because of this...it's a personal decision...and he might have a valid reason for hesitating to do something like this....you should probably talk to him more about it to see where he's coming from..I don't think something like this should cause you to view your FH any less than the way you view him now...
kellybean
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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse
It's such a personal decision, I don't think you should judge him for it... You said it yourself 'I love FH more then I ever thought I could ..I have finally learned to count on someone to always be there'.
I'm an organ donor as well but I do understand why people wouldn't want to donate... they probably feel like they'd be losing a part of themselves even though they're dead.
If your FHs only 'flaw' in your eyes is that he doesn't want to donate his organs I'd say you have it pretty darn good!
Def not only flaw lol....I know its so personal I just cant help seeing it as selfish and I dont mean to knock what anyone else thinks there are two things that could cause hyge debates that I feel stronly on and this is one of them
Cntthinkofone
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I can see where he is coming from. I don't want my parts donated either. I just can't help it but I just don't want it. I don't look at it in a selfish way Its just a decision. Every has different preferences when it comes to things like this. I think if it came down to it and I knew I was going to die and they asked if I wanted to donate something then I would but dead or not I really don't want my body chopped up in peices.
JeanetteandSteve
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i have to say, i have never filled out a donor card not to be selfish, but b/c i can't think about own death at this point in my life. and it bothers me so much that i can't even fill out one of those cards.
i feel bad about it, but it bothers me SO much, i have a hard time even thinking about it. maybe he feels that way too??
chrispar
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Honestly, this is a difficult thing. This is a very personal decision that you have made and FH has made his. I don't think you should judge him for it. I definitely understand where you are coming from but everyone is different and has the right to choose what they want to do with their body or organs. Does he know that you are upset with him?
kellybean
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Posted by JeanetteandSteve
i have to say, i have never filled out a donor card not to be selfish, but b/c i can't think about own death at this point in my life. and it bothers me so much that i can't even fill out one of those cards.
i feel bad about it, but it bothers me SO much, i have a hard time even thinking about it. maybe he feels that way too??
he just says its not up for debate he dosent want to and isnt comfortable being the one to say yeah take all her organs if I go first....My brother is the one who is incharge of my living wil and DNR
LuvMyAlfonse
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are you upset about anything else??? did you have a bad day today?
I only say this because... you say it's such a strong issue for you, and it hasn't come up before, you know?
Are you just looking for things to be mad at him for?
kellybean
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Posted by chrispar
Honestly, this is a difficult thing. This is a very personal decision that you have made and FH has made his. I don't think you should judge him for it. I definitely understand where you are coming from but everyone is different and has the right to choose what they want to do with their body or organs. Does he know that you are upset with him?
Yeah.....and I tried to explain it as what if one of the boys were very ill and needed an organ and didnt make it because enough people dont donate....and he just rolled his eyes and said thats not going to happen.....
ILOVEBRIAN2008
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i dunno..thats def a tough one...i have to get one of those cards bc i feel the same as u, if im dead and my parts are of use to someone else then by all means...but a lot of people feel weird about that sort of thing...have u really talked to him about it? like give him all the reasons why u think its a good thing to do..maybe he just hasnt really thought it through..but again some people are just weird about things like that and i feel like u gotta just let it be if he feels strongly about it after talking to him about it
kellybean
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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse
are you upset about anything else??? did you have a bad day today?
I only say this because... you say it's such a strong issue for you, and it hasn't come up before, you know?
Are you just looking for things to be mad at him for?
no.....I had exspressed my views on it an dlooking back he just listened and normally when he does that its because he agrees///
chrispar
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Posted by kellybean
Posted by chrispar
Honestly, this is a difficult thing. This is a very personal decision that you have made and FH has made his. I don't think you should judge him for it. I definitely understand where you are coming from but everyone is different and has the right to choose what they want to do with their body or organs. Does he know that you are upset with him?
Yeah.....and I tried to explain it as what if one of the boys were very ill and needed an organ and didnt make it because enough people dont donate....and he just rolled his eyes and said thats not going to happen.....
It sounds like he's uncomfortable about death and is avoiding the topic. I wouldn't push him. But like I said I do understand where you are coming from and you are concerned about your kids. People just handle things differently. Sorry if the social worker in me came out,
kellybean
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Posted by chrispar
Posted by kellybean
Posted by chrispar
Honestly, this is a difficult thing. This is a very personal decision that you have made and FH has made his. I don't think you should judge him for it. I definitely understand where you are coming from but everyone is different and has the right to choose what they want to do with their body or organs. Does he know that you are upset with him?
Yeah.....and I tried to explain it as what if one of the boys were very ill and needed an organ and didnt make it because enough people dont donate....and he just rolled his eyes and said thats not going to happen.....
It sounds like he's uncomfortable about death and is avoiding the topic. I wouldn't push him. But like I said I do understand where you are coming from and you are concerned about your kids. People just handle things differently. Sorry if the social worker in me came out,
Not at all....I know I am being irrational....but being a nurse you see a lot of things and I think I looke at it very differently then he does
chrispar
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Posted by kellybean
Posted by chrispar
Posted by kellybean
Posted by chrispar
Honestly, this is a difficult thing. This is a very personal decision that you have made and FH has made his. I don't think you should judge him for it. I definitely understand where you are coming from but everyone is different and has the right to choose what they want to do with their body or organs. Does he know that you are upset with him?
Yeah.....and I tried to explain it as what if one of the boys were very ill and needed an organ and didnt make it because enough people dont donate....and he just rolled his eyes and said thats not going to happen.....
It sounds like he's uncomfortable about death and is avoiding the topic. I wouldn't push him. But like I said I do understand where you are coming from and you are concerned about your kids. People just handle things differently. Sorry if the social worker in me came out,
Not at all....I know I am being irrational....but being a nurse you see a lot of things and I think I looke at it very differently then he does
I definitely agree with that. I work with all nurses and I pretty much think like all of them
Rayjenn317
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Let me tell you something... that whole 'Donor' thing is a crock if your married. It's only good if your single because you have no one to 'speak' for you. If your spouse dies, they would ask you if you would like to donate any of that persons organs and you can say yes or no. When i die i would like some of my organs donated but i dont have that written down that i am a donor. So i dont think you should even worry about and should be thinking that way. I know you probably like to 'plan' for the just in case things...but you cant be hold this against him. It's the way he feels
graezie
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Re: Am I wrong ?? Please be honest
it's a personal decision... you should not look at him funny just because of that.
