We are human and we cannot help how we feel. I would probably be upset upon first hearing this, but then I'd have to take a step back and not let it bother me, as there's really nothing to be upset about it. Go ahead and vent to your friends, whine, cry, scream, and get all of your feelings out (here or to yourself or your friends) and then let it go. I repeat, let it go. Yes, easier said than done, but totally worth it in the end.
I'm not trying to be harsh or cold or mean... but you can't control them. You can control how you act and react to it... so focus on that.
From the way it was described, it doesn't sound like they are trying to steal your thunder and they ruin your day. The longer you hold onto it and worry about it, the bigger your chances are that you are going to (1) let it ruin the weeks before your wedding and your wedding and (2) not share in their happiness. There's no reason for that! Don't let it ruin your wedding day or the time beforehand. Try to be happy that they have found the same type of love and long-lasting relationship that you have. There is no happiness or quota that will get used up before your wedding. People will be capable of being happy for them AND for you. I PROMISE!
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They are entitled to be happy and get engaged whenever they want -- they cannot plan their lives around your wedding. Though I'd appreciate if everyone did that for me, it's not practical and we can't expect it.
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They aren't doing it the day before or the day of, so let them have their moment. Be happy for them.
As for your FSIL announcing she was preggo - She was probably already preggo before you got engaged... She waited a couple weeks to announce it. It wasn't her fault she was sick afterwards, nor was it her fault you didn't have an e-party. Yes, it would have been 2 people short and that would have been unfortunate, but that doesn't mean you couldn't have one. Besides that, it's in the past - and you should just not worry about that anymore. Be forward thinking! Thinking about the past now doesn't do any good.
It's not about how much attention you get. Sheesh, not only did we not have an e-party, one of my brothers/SILs didn't even bother to send us a card saying congratulations. (And I have a feeling my SIL will be preggo at the wedding - one of my cousins already is) It happens... but we're still happy and excited b/c this is about us. WE make it about us. Don't you go and make it about someone else. YOU make it about you guys. You can do that and be happy for them at the same time.
Your wedding is almost here - don't add any more stress and unnecessary drama to it! Be happy for them - there is no reason to be jealous or petty about it. They aren't stealing your day from the sound of it.
So, get it all out - I think many of us would also be freaking out at first hearing something like this. We're human and entitled to our emotions of course! Being close to your wedding adds even more stress and heightens emotions. So let it all out, have a pity party for 1 if you need to (sometimes we all do)... and then let it go and focus on what's really important.
Don't underestimate the power of your perception. If you continue to think this is horrible and selfish and awful, then everytime someone making conversation mentions it in the weeks before or the day of your wedding, you will get yourself all upset (or even just a little upset). If you let it go, focus on this amazing wedding and marriage that is coming, then when people mention it, you'll view it as just more happiness and love to add to the occasion.
I'm sorry you feel bad about it now -- but once that wears off, make it into a positive... or at the very least, go back and start to focus on what's important - you marrying your FH.
ETA - One last thing. You say you don't want to be bitter forever. The ONLY person who can change that is you.
Again, you can't help how you feel and feelings can't really be right or wrong... but you can try to change your focus and how you view this so you can continue to be happy and excited and have the day of your dreams. It'll be hard for people to focus on anyone other than the newlyweds at the wedding. (big white dress and all
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