An Overly Involved FH?

I bet you guys NEVER thought you'd see a post where my FH is driving me nuts! I never knew he was such a hand-wringer! I think he is overly involved in the details (like stressing about what color my bridesmaid's dresses are, having me call hotels NOW, 11 months before our wedding when we don't even know exactly who is coming yet, telling me centerpieces are 'out' because a guy he worked with spent 4 grand on his, worrying that we don't have the outside deck for both cocktail and reception at JA's....ad nauseum)
In some ways his involvement is sweet, but he is staring to drive me bananas. Now he wants to call off an informal 'Stock the Bar' casual party that a friend is throwing us (one of my BM's) because he says it's too much (in addition to a regular shower in the Spring and the wedding itself).
He also has said that I am 'getting my way on everything' and that he 'keeps getting shot down.'
Anyway to make him feel like he has a little more power/control in this thing? Otherwise I might kill him

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

oh no way.. not my FH.. I'd kill him.. lol

The more he knows about every itty bitty detail. the more stressed out he'll become, which in turn will be passed onto me.. so no thanks! lol

He's stressing enough about it..

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

My FI is in charge on one thing...showing up at the church on time and making sure BM has rings! I'm more than happy to handle the rest

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

mi fi is the total opposite doesnt stress about a **** thing sometimes I get stressed about him not being stressed out

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

My FH is very involved, however, not as much as yours LOL
I welcome it, but I do know what you mean about sometimes it being a pain. He wants a say in EVERYTHING, and sometimes will challenge me. He also helped me pick out the BM dresses color, and insists on going to all the appointments with me. Sunday we are visiting the florist, and last time we did all he kept saying is he didn't want to look 'fruity' with his bout.
I could have done without that.
He tried to stop me from having a harpist for the ceremony, but I won on that one.
The main dispute now is that at CB, we come up and are introduced from underneath the floor, and he doesn't want to make that big production of it, and of course I do. Who will win??? That remains to be seen.

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

For now, have him take care of calling hotels and blocking rooms. When he tells you to call, tell him to take care of it himself. I had my FH take care of that and it was very nice to say 'I don't care, you take care of that, just let me know how it turns out.'

Of course that was in January, the first and last task he wanted to be invovled with so he has been out of my hair since then.

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

Liz, Len is going to be like Roger, while I was enjoying the intro he was just standing there looking stunned They are both quiet men as you know, they don't like all that attention on them. Len will enjoy being at the florist I know

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

Matt is involved in everything and I would want it no other way. This is as much his day as it is mine. We both get a little stressed but we vent to each other and figure it out.

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

My FH has been involved in the planning and we have done mostly everything together. He didn't pick out the BM dresses but I am glad he has been a part in the planning. He is very organized so he has helped with the budget and made a binder filled with wedding related stuff, contracts and so forth. I don't think it should be all one sided. We agree on mostly everything. Sometimes he might be a pain but for the most part it has been good.

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

Mine is the complete opposite. He wanted no part of the planning and at first I was upset, but now I'm used to it. I have my mom and his mom to help with the planning, so I'm happy.

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

my fh says:
'you plan and i'll pay'!
but he was very into the video choosing.
if i ask his opnion he helps but otherwise thats it

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

my FH was in charge of booking the wedding hotel room block. My guests are stuck at the red roof inn, because he did not do this on time. He is now mad at me because I went ahead and printed all the programs by myself - when meanwhile he is clueless about a catholic mass. Be thankful your FHs are not overly involved....

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

if you tell him about this website--he'll get addicted and then he won't bother u as much!!HAHA!

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

My FH is involved in the planning all the way. I wouldn't want to have it any other way. For us, having each other as a part of the planning will make the day more 'ours'. This works for us and it is how we do most things, but I could see how this wouldn't work for some people.

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

My FH is pretty involved, but that's because I want him to be. I trust his opinions and want his input. He's also awesome at negotiating!!!

Re: An Overly Involved FH?

Even though my FI lives 7 hours away he has been involved in almost everything so far. He visits pretty often so we schedule appointments while he is here. He's very laid back and easygoing so he fine with any decisions I make. The only thing he really wants a say in is the music.