An update

Well, first I'd like to thank everyone who posted words of support and advice.

At this point, even tho we have over a year until the wedding July 2005, we have decided we will hold off for now. So all wedding planning will cease at this point. We've decided to not tell our parents just yet, because honestly I don't want to cause any ill-will with my parents and FH.

He went to get tested today, and as you all advised, it will take up to six months for us to know for sure, he is healthy. So if and when I decide we can be intimate again, we will be using protection.

Yesterday I pretty much spent the entire day blaming myself somehow, until my best friend straightened me out, thank god for her! So today I had a long talk with him, and a few issues have come to light that we realized are the under lying causes to things that have changed between us.

Basically he feels I have changed, and gotten too comfortable in our relationship, basically I think my attitudes changed and they came out passive agressivaly (sp?) as did his. It doesn't excuse what he did, but it does make me understand a bit better.

We are going to seek professional help, together and apart. Both of us have other issues with ourselves that we need to get a handle on before we can move on with our relationship.

I just wanted you all to know that I am grateful for your advice and support, and I know in my heart what I need to do, we have left it open ended for now, but we both love each other very much, and are choosing to fight for each other and not against each other..

Thanks again

I wish you both all the best for a happy future and just know that whatever happens, it is for the best for both of you. Good luck with your counseling - I hope it works out for you.

I am so glad to read what you just posted!!!!! You are smarter than you might feel lately..because you made an incredibly tough and smart decision. Postponing is one of the hardest things to do, but I really believe in your situation is soooooo smart..now you guys will have time to get things straight and hopefully get married with these issues LONG behind you! I do believe people can change, without a doubt and I think you are both taking the necssary steps to bring upon change in yout relationship!!! Be so very proud of yourself..what you are doing isnt easy!!!!

Sounds like you are handling this in a very mature and rational way.

I think professional help will help both of you make the right decision as to your future together.

Good Luck.

Wow, congratulations on handling this so maturely. I'm really impressed. I'm sure with counseling you will both make the best decision for your future. Good luck!!

Good for you both!!!

Don't blame yourself!!!

Good Luck!!!!!!!

I wish you both all the best. I'm sure none of this can be easy to deal with, but give it time and hard work, and hopefully it will take you to your hearts desire!

Best Wishes, and prayers to you!

It will take a while, but it sounds as if you the two of you are heading toward progress.

I wish you both the best of luck.

Handled beautifully with dignity and grace.
God Bless you both. It may be a tough road ahead, but you're lucky to have someone who is willing to work with you. And bravo to you for knowing what steps to take to take care of yourself. Good luck. Keep us posted.

Hugs to u. I wish you all the luck in everything.

Thank you so much for your post! I am so sorry for what you went through, but I think you are handling it with strength and wisdom. Good luck to you

Sounds like you have a great plan so far. Best of luck to you no matter what.

I wish you the best! Good luck and stay strong!

And definately don't blame yourself.!.

I'm really happy to hear this and thank you for posting and letting us know how you're doing. Counseling is a great idea and as long as you two work hard at it, it will ultimately bring you to the right decision. Good luck!!!

Good luck with everything!!