An update

Well, first I'd like to thank everyone who posted words of support and advice.

At this point, even tho we have over a year until the wedding July 2005, we have decided we will hold off for now. So all wedding planning will cease at this point. We've decided to not tell our parents just yet, because honestly I don't want to cause any ill-will with my parents and FH.

He went to get tested today, and as you all advised, it will take up to six months for us to know for sure, he is healthy. So if and when I decide we can be intimate again, we will be using protection.

Yesterday I pretty much spent the entire day blaming myself somehow, until my best friend straightened me out, thank god for her! So today I had a long talk with him, and a few issues have come to light that we realized are the under lying causes to things that have changed between us.

Basically he feels I have changed, and gotten too comfortable in our relationship, basically I think my attitudes changed and they came out passive agressivaly (sp?) as did his. It doesn't excuse what he did, but it does make me understand a bit better.

We are going to seek professional help, together and apart. Both of us have other issues with ourselves that we need to get a handle on before we can move on with our relationship.

I just wanted you all to know that I am grateful for your advice and support, and I know in my heart what I need to do, we have left it open ended for now, but we both love each other very much, and are choosing to fight for each other and not against each other..

Thanks again