and Guest dilemma **Updated**

The entire 'and Guest' thing has been giving me headaches lately, but this one takes the cake...

I invited a girl I taught with last year to the wedding. We were super close, but since she changed schools, we really don't speak much anymore. I did invite her out of guilt since every time we do talk all she wants to hear about it the wedding, etc. I addressed the invite to only her without a guest because she will know a lot of people there anyway.

Well today, I get her reply and she added a guest for herself! The nerve of some people!

My question for you ladies is how do I tell her that she can't bring a date, while still being tactful and without hurting her feelings?

Thanks

*************UPDATE*************************************

So for all of you ladies who offered tactful ways to approach my friend, thank you. But I will say, all was lost on her. She didn't get why she couldn't have a guest, even after I said it was about the $$$. She said she figured she would get back together with her boyfriend by the wedding and she figured it wouldn't be an issue.

In closing she said that if everyone else from my school was invited with a guest, she didn't think it was fair that she was not...I HATE PEOPLE!! I should have never invited her

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Posted by trojo1521

The entire 'and Guest' thing has been giving me headaches lately, but this one takes the cake...

I invited a girl I taught with last year to the wedding. We were super close, but since she changed schools, we really don't speak much anymore. I did invite her out of guilt since every time we do talk all she wants to hear about it the wedding, etc. I addressed the invite to only her without a guest because she will know a lot of people there anyway.

Well today, I get her reply and she added a guest for herself! The nerve of some people!

My question for you ladies is how do I tell her that she can't bring a date, while still being tactful and without hurting her feelings?

Thanks

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I had a similar situation when getting back my RSVP's.. I simply called them and let them know that we were at (or over) our limit on the RH and at this time we have to limit as to how many people we can invite but if space becomes available that she would be able to bring a guest.

I would also find out who it is she wants to bring- if it's a long term BF then consider letting her bring a guest even though she just added the person in.

oooo tough one! If it were me...I'd probably just suck it up and let her bring a guest. I don't think I could tell her!! I'm a wuss like that!

Good luck!

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Posted by DGoldfarb0776

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Posted by trojo1521

The entire 'and Guest' thing has been giving me headaches lately, but this one takes the cake...

I invited a girl I taught with last year to the wedding. We were super close, but since she changed schools, we really don't speak much anymore. I did invite her out of guilt since every time we do talk all she wants to hear about it the wedding, etc. I addressed the invite to only her without a guest because she will know a lot of people there anyway.

Well today, I get her reply and she added a guest for herself! The nerve of some people!

My question for you ladies is how do I tell her that she can't bring a date, while still being tactful and without hurting her feelings?

Thanks

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I had a similar situation when getting back my RSVP's.. I simply called them and let them know that we were at (or over) our limit on the RH and at this time we have to limit as to how many people we can invite but if space becomes available that she would be able to bring a guest.

I would also find out who it is she wants to bring- if it's a long term BF then consider letting her bring a guest even though she just added the person in.

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I think this is a great way to handle it...it shouldnt hurt her feelings

you know my thoughts...the nerve!!!

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Posted by Shelly9697

I would be really mad!! But I would prob let it go!! 1 person is not worth the stress!!

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I know it isn't worth the stress, but there are other people I didn't invite with guests, that RSVPed the correct way, and I don't want to start drama with them either.

Trying to diffuse the situation

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Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I would also find out who it is she wants to bring- if it's a long term BF then consider letting her bring a guest even though she just added the person in.

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I know she just broke up with her long term boyfriend last month. I would have probably invited her with him if they were still together, even if I think he's a jerk. I fell like she feels she needs to have a date

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Posted by trojo1521

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Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I would also find out who it is she wants to bring- if it's a long term BF then consider letting her bring a guest even though she just added the person in.

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I know she just broke up with her long term boyfriend last month. I would have probably invited her with him if they were still together, even if I think he's a jerk. I fell like she feels she needs to have a date

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She just broke up with a long-term boyfriend a month ago...she's already got another boyfriend?

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Posted by roan126

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Posted by trojo1521

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Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I would also find out who it is she wants to bring- if it's a long term BF then consider letting her bring a guest even though she just added the person in.

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I know she just broke up with her long term boyfriend last month. I would have probably invited her with him if they were still together, even if I think he's a jerk. I fell like she feels she needs to have a date

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She just broke up with a long-term boyfriend a month ago...she's already got another boyfriend?

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That's the thing, I don't even know who it is that she invited. A boyfriend? A girlfriend? Who knows...

Ah that suckss. Maybe she just added a guest because she didn't know if she would know anyone...it could be a little awkward in that situation.
If you really don't want her to bring the guest that magically appearred on her rsvp card then you should really just tell her you're at your limit.

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Posted by mao0426

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Posted by DGoldfarb0776

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Posted by trojo1521

The entire 'and Guest' thing has been giving me headaches lately, but this one takes the cake...

I invited a girl I taught with last year to the wedding. We were super close, but since she changed schools, we really don't speak much anymore. I did invite her out of guilt since every time we do talk all she wants to hear about it the wedding, etc. I addressed the invite to only her without a guest because she will know a lot of people there anyway.

Well today, I get her reply and she added a guest for herself! The nerve of some people!

My question for you ladies is how do I tell her that she can't bring a date, while still being tactful and without hurting her feelings?

Thanks

---

I had a similar situation when getting back my RSVP's.. I simply called them and let them know that we were at (or over) our limit on the RH and at this time we have to limit as to how many people we can invite but if space becomes available that she would be able to bring a guest.

I would also find out who it is she wants to bring- if it's a long term BF then consider letting her bring a guest even though she just added the person in.

---

I think this is a great way to handle it...it shouldnt hurt her feelings

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I agree this seems like the nicest way to handle the situation. Most people will understand.

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Posted by trojo1521

The entire 'and Guest' thing has been giving me headaches lately, but this one takes the cake...

I invited a girl I taught with last year to the wedding. We were super close, but since she changed schools, we really don't speak much anymore. I did invite her out of guilt since every time we do talk all she wants to hear about it the wedding, etc. I addressed the invite to only her without a guest because she will know a lot of people there anyway.

Well today, I get her reply and she added a guest for herself! The nerve of some people!

My question for you ladies is how do I tell her that she can't bring a date, while still being tactful and without hurting her feelings?

Thanks

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I'm sorry you are going through this.

I don't know if you read my post a while back, but i've had the same problems. A friend had the nerve to tell me that she wouldn't come unless her TWO friends could come.

I thought i did a good job of telling her that we do have budget constraints and we only invited family and close friends. I told her that if she couldn't come i will miss her, but she can't bring her friends. If anything changes I will tell her, but for now, she can't bring guests.

You can tell this friend something similar.
She'll feel embarassed that she added a guest without asking.

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Posted by angl2001

anyone who does that to me is getting a phone call! I am gonna expalin to them that i can not fit nor afford any more guests thats why the invite was made out to them only!

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Me too! We have too many single guests that all know each other... if we invited them all with guests... we'd have over 400 people at this wedding! I either have to let everyone have a guest or no one, can't let anyone be the exception because they filled out the rsvp card wrong!

That's the thing, I don't even know who it is that she invited. A boyfriend? A girlfriend? Who knows...

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Yeah I hear ya!! She was wrong!! Maybe you should call her and let her know how you are feeling!! And explain why. It can't hurt!! Ya know??

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Posted by trojo1521

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Posted by roan126

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Posted by trojo1521

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Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I would also find out who it is she wants to bring- if it's a long term BF then consider letting her bring a guest even though she just added the person in.

---

I know she just broke up with her long term boyfriend last month. I would have probably invited her with him if they were still together, even if I think he's a jerk. I fell like she feels she needs to have a date

---

She just broke up with a long-term boyfriend a month ago...she's already got another boyfriend?

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That's the thing, I don't even know who it is that she invited. A boyfriend? A girlfriend? Who knows...

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It will be interesting when you call to find out... lol

jeez---people are rediculous...

I agree with the girls who would let it go because I am chicken sh*t

im probably going to have to deal with the same issue...i would just call like everyone else said and explain the situation....maybe she really didn't know or doesn't think anyone else will be there. once u assure her...things should be fine (hopefully).

and if not...she can just not come