'and guest' drama (long)-- advice please
I know this whole 'and guest' issue is something of a powder keg, but I need some advice...
A little background... So, FH and I didn't want a huge wedding. Despite these wishes the guest list has swelled to 240. We are getting married outside at Lands End and have been told that the ceremony area only holds 220, which I don't think will be a problem after the typical 20% say no, but the point is we don't have a whole lot of wriggle room.
To keep things from getting further out of control, we decided to limit the 'and guest' invites to people who had spouses, significant others, known boyfriends/girlfriends. We researched the first and last names of each guest and wrote them explicitly on the envelope.
I work in a department with 15 people, 11 of whom are married. The other four are not dating anyone right now. I invited the singles alone.
On Monday, one of them comes up and asks me if he can bring his sister to my wedding. I explained to him that we already invited more people than the ceremony space can hold. He said, 'Don't worry I'm going to give you a big present.' I told him it's not about money; it's about space. He kept pushing and pushing, so I said if he wants to ask me again after theRSVP date, I can see what we can do, but as of now, I have to say no.
Today, he comes in with the RSVP card and asks me how he should fill it out. I thought it was a dead issue, so I gave some fresh reply like 'if you want to come, check yes, if not, check no.'
He said, well 'what is this M thing?' So I explained that since he's a boy he would write in 'r.' and then his name, and then in front of a bunch of people, he says, 'where do I put the 'and gues'' I was furious. Granted, I shouldn't have left any window of hope for him on Monday, but it was a terribly awkward situation in the first place. And now it was even worse b/c he put me on the spot in front of people. If i shot him down, I'd look nasty. If I let him have his way, it would look bad in front of the other singles. Luckily my boss called and I was saved by the bell. When I got back to my desk he had left the card (filled out with his name and guest) on my desk with a note saying that he hopes it's okay that he didn't mail it.
I don't really know what to do. Even if I wanted to be gracious and cave in to his wishes, it would be really rude to my other coworkers. After all, he's going to introduce his siter. She's not going to pretend to be his girlfriend. The other three coworkers, who immediately RSVP'd 'yes' solo would have every right to be offended that I let him bring some random person without giving them the courtesy of selecting a date.
We knew that we might have to make some exceptions for people who are traveling from out of town or who wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding, but if we did no one would be the wiser and there wouldn't be hurt feelings. In this case, however, the other people would definitely know and I'm sure there would be hurt feelings. Any advice on how to proceed?
A little background... So, FH and I didn't want a huge wedding. Despite these wishes the guest list has swelled to 240. We are getting married outside at Lands End and have been told that the ceremony area only holds 220, which I don't think will be a problem after the typical 20% say no, but the point is we don't have a whole lot of wriggle room.
To keep things from getting further out of control, we decided to limit the 'and guest' invites to people who had spouses, significant others, known boyfriends/girlfriends. We researched the first and last names of each guest and wrote them explicitly on the envelope.
I work in a department with 15 people, 11 of whom are married. The other four are not dating anyone right now. I invited the singles alone.
On Monday, one of them comes up and asks me if he can bring his sister to my wedding. I explained to him that we already invited more people than the ceremony space can hold. He said, 'Don't worry I'm going to give you a big present.' I told him it's not about money; it's about space. He kept pushing and pushing, so I said if he wants to ask me again after theRSVP date, I can see what we can do, but as of now, I have to say no.
Today, he comes in with the RSVP card and asks me how he should fill it out. I thought it was a dead issue, so I gave some fresh reply like 'if you want to come, check yes, if not, check no.'
He said, well 'what is this M thing?' So I explained that since he's a boy he would write in 'r.' and then his name, and then in front of a bunch of people, he says, 'where do I put the 'and gues'' I was furious. Granted, I shouldn't have left any window of hope for him on Monday, but it was a terribly awkward situation in the first place. And now it was even worse b/c he put me on the spot in front of people. If i shot him down, I'd look nasty. If I let him have his way, it would look bad in front of the other singles. Luckily my boss called and I was saved by the bell. When I got back to my desk he had left the card (filled out with his name and guest) on my desk with a note saying that he hopes it's okay that he didn't mail it.
I don't really know what to do. Even if I wanted to be gracious and cave in to his wishes, it would be really rude to my other coworkers. After all, he's going to introduce his siter. She's not going to pretend to be his girlfriend. The other three coworkers, who immediately RSVP'd 'yes' solo would have every right to be offended that I let him bring some random person without giving them the courtesy of selecting a date.
We knew that we might have to make some exceptions for people who are traveling from out of town or who wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding, but if we did no one would be the wiser and there wouldn't be hurt feelings. In this case, however, the other people would definitely know and I'm sure there would be hurt feelings. Any advice on how to proceed?
