And the wedding drama BEGINS

I thought we were doing pretty well in terms of avoiding the wedding drama until the last couple of weeks. First of all my dad FREAKED out because I didn't put his sister on the guest list who lives in another country and who we have not seen in over a decade...instead of just asking me to put her on the list he throws the list on the floor and storms off

Well we took care of that problem but now on to another issue that is still not resolved.... FH spoke to his brother recently (who will be a groomsman) and told him about the no kids policy at the reception... well FH's brother started ranting and raving about how ridiculous that was and that his kids(ages 7 and 18 months) would have a blast dancing the night away (we are having an evening reception). He then told FH that now he would have a big fight with his wife about this because she will not be pleased and to not be surprised if they decide not to show (they live in TX)....FH stood his ground against his older brother but I could tell he felt really hurt and upset (I felt ready to slam his brother on the floor and beat him down). The thing is two years ago we spent over $2K flying to Costa Rica for his brother's destination wedding!!!!! It sure as hell was inconvenient, expensive and disruptive but we did it because he is FH's brother and it was his wedding after all!!! FH's brother did not even make FH a groomsman and instead had two best men (his college buddies) which made my FH feel terrible yet again....

AND... when FH asked his brother to be a groomsman his first reaction was not 'oh thanks for asking I would be honored'....NOPE! He asks 'You don't plan to do the corny bridal party seating do you?!? I need to sit with my wife.' He is such an @ss. First of all we are not doing the bridal party seating but if we wanted to then he would just need to deal with it!!! He is the oldest and his parents treat him like a god which is why he cops such attitude!

Sorry for venting but I am just so frustrated and worried about what he will pull next.

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Posted by espresso

is he the only sibling with kids? maybe just make an exception for those 2 kids as they are bridal party kids?

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The best man also has a baby and so does another groomsman. I think it would cause alot of problems to allow some people to bring kids and not others, especially since we aren't having any kids in the bridal party (No FG or RB).

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Posted by xcalystax

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Posted by espresso

is he the only sibling with kids? maybe just make an exception for those 2 kids as they are bridal party kids?

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The best man also has a baby and so does another groomsman. I think it would cause alot of problems to allow some people to bring kids and not others, especially since we aren't having any kids in the bridal party (No FG or RB).

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ahh. that's true.
i wanted to make an exception for my nephew, whom I love and coundnt imagine having a party w/o, but that exception cost me about 10 other kids!!! so now they're all invited.

That s u c k s !!!

I really don't understand why some people feel so entitled to invite their children to formal , evening receptions.

Good for your FH for standing his ground!!!!

I was doing well in the drama department too until recently. Out of no where my dad wants to invite kids, after a couple of months putting his foot down about no kids!!! W T F???

I'm sorry you're going through this. Since they are coming a distance and maybe don't want to leave the kids home, maybe you could find some local babysitters for them to reach out to?

I'm so sorry! Weddings really do bring out the worst in families. Your FH's brother sounds like an a$$ and I don't think your FH should waste any more engergy on him. If his brother is going to act selfish, there is nothing anyone can do that will change that. I wish I had better advice to offer!

i have to say that since you have a strict NO KIDS policy and you are not even having a FG or RB, that you are far from out of line!! If he's that big of an a$$, well then, better to learn that now instead of on your wedding day.

Sorry he put you through it....but it's your wedding and if you guys don't want kids there, guests have no right to alter what you've laid out! Besides, it's a night wedding/reception...a 7 year old and a toddler don't need to be up and out that late anyway!




eta---when i was 14 i had a neighbor who had a 3 year old. she had a wedding to attend 2 hours away for a cousin or someone. her husband wasn't going but her folks wanted to see her son...but no kids were allowed at the wedding...so I went with her and was the baby sitter...i got a free mini trip and some spending $$....it was great. maybe if you can find some reliable teen to watch them, they might see that you are making attempts at allowing them to have a good time at your expense...it's just more convenient for them.

I'm sorry.

Man, people can be so insensitive and selfish at times like this, can't they? I know his pain, I have a sibling who is pretty much the same. They've tried to make everything about them instead of what it's really about: you and your FH.

It sounds like your FH is used to being dissapointed by his brother and that probably will continue for the rest of their lives.

But I wouldn't back down if I were you just because he is trying to make you guys feel bad. Especially if it's for someone who doesn't respect you and your decisions.

I hope it all works out for you.

for you and your FH!!

Yeah I was going to say the same thing, since everyone will be at the wedding maybe they are worried about finding someone to watch the kids. Can you maybe set up a babysitting option?
I can't believe how selfish FBIL is being. I hope everything works out.....


For my wedding I am absolutely inviting kids, its a friday night. I have a sister who is 5 and I would never not have her, and I really don't think it is a big deal to have kids, luckily this wasn't an issue for us...

We're making a few exceptions and whoever has a problem with it doesn't have to come - I have 30 cousins who have multiple kids each. There's no WAY I'm dealing with that - or paying for it. I'm inviting my 2 nieces, and FH has family coming from FL so I'll allow their 6 kids because they probably wouldn't be comfortable leaving the kids with someone they don't know up here. I'm also considering hiring a babysitter for the reception to keep the kids busy.

However, if you really don't want kids then they should accept that. I don't understand why people would want to go to a wedding over-run with kids. The parents are the ones who are going to have to watch them all night!

STAND YOUR GROUND! IT'S YOUR WEDDING.
IF IT WAS YOU AND YOUR FH WOULD FBIL MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR YOU AND YOUR FH.
PLEASE!

aww that is so ridculous and messed up! I hope things work itself out. Wedding drama *****!!!

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Posted by EGreene79

We're making a few exceptions and whoever has a problem with it doesn't have to come - I have 30 cousins who have multiple kids each. There's no WAY I'm dealing with that - or paying for it. I'm inviting my 2 nieces, and FH has family coming from FL so I'll allow their 6 kids because they probably wouldn't be comfortable leaving the kids with someone they don't know up here. I'm also considering hiring a babysitter for the reception to keep the kids busy.

However, if you really don't want kids then they should accept that. I don't understand why people would want to go to a wedding over-run with kids. The parents are the ones who are going to have to watch them all night!

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At a wedding I went to recently.... they parents DID NOT WATCH THE KIDS... and they ran around all night long even while the band was singing a special song for the bride and groom they ran all around the guy who was singing. Stand your ground .... it is your wedding after all!!