And you thought that you had troubles...
This is a true story from the
> WordPerfect help line. Needless to say the help desk employee was fired;
> however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for
> 'Termination without Cause'.
> Actual dialog of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee:
> 'Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?'
> 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
> 'What sort of trouble?'
> 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
> 'Went away?'
> 'They disappeared.'
> 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
> 'Nothing.'
> 'Nothing?'
> 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
> 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?' >
> 'How do I tell?'
> 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?'
> 'What's a sea-prompt?'
> 'Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?'
> 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
> 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
> 'What's a monitor?'
> 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have
a
> little light that tells you when it's on?'
> 'I don't know.'
> 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
> goes into it. Can you see that?'
> 'Yes, I think so.'
> 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
> wall.'
> '.......Yes, it is.'
> 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
> cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'
> 'No.'
> 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
> cable.'
> '.......Okay, here it is.'
> 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
> your computer.'
> 'I can't reach.'
> 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?'
> 'No.'
> 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
> 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's
> dark.'
> 'Dark?'
> 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
> from the window.'
> 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
> 'I can't.'
> 'No? Why not?'
> 'Because there's a power outage.'
> 'A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
> Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
> came in?'
> 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
> 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
was
> when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
> 'Really? Is it that bad?'
> 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
> 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
> 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.'
> WordPerfect help line. Needless to say the help desk employee was fired;
> however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for
> 'Termination without Cause'.
> Actual dialog of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee:
> 'Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?'
> 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
> 'What sort of trouble?'
> 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
> 'Went away?'
> 'They disappeared.'
> 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
> 'Nothing.'
> 'Nothing?'
> 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
> 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?' >
> 'How do I tell?'
> 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?'
> 'What's a sea-prompt?'
> 'Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?'
> 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
> 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
> 'What's a monitor?'
> 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have
a
> little light that tells you when it's on?'
> 'I don't know.'
> 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
> goes into it. Can you see that?'
> 'Yes, I think so.'
> 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
> wall.'
> '.......Yes, it is.'
> 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
> cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'
> 'No.'
> 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
> cable.'
> '.......Okay, here it is.'
> 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
> your computer.'
> 'I can't reach.'
> 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?'
> 'No.'
> 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
> 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's
> dark.'
> 'Dark?'
> 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
> from the window.'
> 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
> 'I can't.'
> 'No? Why not?'
> 'Because there's a power outage.'
> 'A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
> Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
> came in?'
> 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
> 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
was
> when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
> 'Really? Is it that bad?'
> 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
> 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
> 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.'
