Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

divabride Posted: Dec 23, 2003 12:46 PM

Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

I have everything planned for my announcement.....except the ring. What will people think when we announce it and they ask to see the ring and I dont have one? Do I have to go into a whole story of how he wont have enough money by the end of the year? I dont want to embarrass my FH......

Jess2 Posted: Dec 23, 2003 12:48 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

You don't need to explain it, just tell them that you are waiting unil the end of the year. If they ask why, maybe you could just say that you haven't found the right ring yet.

shelzyp Posted: Dec 23, 2003 12:49 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

I wouldn't go into the whole story, jsut tell them you are waiting until the end of the eyar, and if they ask anymore they are rude!

Xelindrya Posted: Dec 23, 2003 12:49 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

Nah.. i dont think it should be a big deal.
This day and age everyone is having a better understanding that Money doesn't grow on trees. If you had told me you were engaged and I didn't see a ring, I'll admit I'd ask, but i you said 'We are being careful with our money so we're getting my ring later' I'd never even think twice.

Of course my next question would be 'So you get to choose it then, right?'

Congrats.

I am someone who believes marriage is about the people not the things. Jim & I eloped this past October even though our wedding is next Oct. Because we felt it was about us not so much the event.

Good Luck planning!

tourist Posted: Dec 23, 2003 12:50 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

get a fake one?

don't tell them you don't have enough money, unless you want to.
Just say, its not really about the ring to the 2 of you, and you'll look into getting one together when you have more time.

or that he wanted you pick it, and you haven't decided what you like yet.

or simply, 'I don't have it yet, but I'll show you when I do.'

Nora101004 Posted: Dec 23, 2003 12:55 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

Tell people its being flown in from a remote part of Africa where the best diamonds are located.

divabride Posted: Dec 23, 2003 12:59 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

Well dont get me wrong. To me, it was never about the ring. It was about the proposal. But you know how other people can be.

divabride Posted: Dec 23, 2003 01:01 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

PS - That's the cool thing... I do get to pick my own ring.

shamma Posted: Dec 23, 2003 01:03 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

I told everyone the next day and I did not get my ring until 2 mos later. When people asked where my ring was I said I did not get it yet. I know my engagement was real so I had nothing to prove. If we could never afford a ring, does that mean we will never get married??? I was ok with it.

PrincessRose Posted: Dec 23, 2003 01:04 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

I like Nora's idea.

Or you can get a fake one, no one will question.

shamma Posted: Dec 23, 2003 01:08 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

If you have to go as far as getting a fake ring then I think you are doing what makes other people happy and not yourself and your FI.

If you both are comfortable with it, what the heck does it matter what other people think. Hello, a ring is only a symbol and it does not guarantee longevity, love or anything else for that matter. Do not do it to your FI, that I think would embarass him more.

divabride Posted: Dec 23, 2003 01:11 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

I guess Im just getting really nervous. Im announcing it tomorrow night. Im worried about what my mom is going to think. She's very judgemental. I know she'll have a million questions with the first one being, 'Well, why dont you have a ring?' 'When are you going to have it?' 'How much money are you going to waste on it?' Ugh... I can just imagine it now. Hopefully my Dad will bail me out by telling her to shut up.

Not to mention this crazy family friend spread a rumor about me last week that I was pregnant. My FH and I are worried my parents are going to think we are getting married because Im expecting. I dont even want kids!!!!!!

shamma Posted: Dec 23, 2003 01:14 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

So its not really people, its more the family, what a uncomfortable situation, you would think they(especially a mother) would be the first to be supportive. I don't even know what to say in this case.

You 2 announce it as a unit and stand by your decision and do not let anyone let you or him feel bad about it. DO not cave in to them. If you do, it will only be the beginning of many more caving in to them. You know you both are going to get married so try not to let their comments bother you.

Maybe if you are close to your dad you can tell him about it before the big annoucement. So you have his support.

Nora101004 Posted: Dec 23, 2003 01:24 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

Just tell them, he asked and wanted you to pick out the ring together, that's why there is no ring.... and the stones are being flown in from a distant place.

jennbaby Posted: Dec 23, 2003 01:32 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

A ring is just a symbol. The commitment is what's real.

Xelindrya Posted: Dec 23, 2003 01:41 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

Posted by divabride

I guess Im just getting really nervous. Im announcing it tomorrow night. Im worried about what my mom is going to think. She's very judgemental. I know she'll have a million questions with the first one being, 'Well, why dont you have a ring?' 'When are you going to have it?' 'How much money are you going to waste on it?' Ugh... I can just imagine it now. Hopefully my Dad will bail me out by telling her to shut up.

Honey you and I could be long lost sisters!! My mother is the same way. And my father is constantly helping to bail us out of nerve raking, painful, angry or otherwise unpleasant experiences with her.

Remember this in your own mind. Its about you and your FH. Imagine yourself on an island and its just you two. Is the world against you? Not really it's just doing it's thing. Is it you against the world? Only if you want it badly enough. Can your family dictate what you do with your own life? Mostly likely no, though they can make it unpleasant. If they love you and Im sure they do, they'll come around. For now just remember its about you two starting a life together forever. It's much more important than a ring.

divabride Posted: Dec 23, 2003 01:50 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

Thanks for the advice long lost sister. No matter what, my mom is always going to have an opinion. I just have to learn to deal with her.

Xelindrya Posted: Dec 23, 2003 02:05 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

Or you could do what I did and move 4 states away! hehe

ETA: Just so you know.. She didnt like the ring he got me. She didnt like the fact we knew but didnt tell her for 3 days cause I was waiting for my ring to come back sized (how rude of me) she doesn't like the idea that im getting married in New York not Texas at the very least (again how rude of me) she thinks Im fat and won't fit into my wedding dress (im only a size 10) and Last but not least my personal favorite 'Dont forget all of you (meaning my family) seem to need at least one divorce before you get it right' So basically she's doomed my wedding. Mind you, she's done this all long distance via phone calls! I laugh it off. Like i care.. she's just jealous cause I could get married in a barn with a cow and goat as witness and still be a happy woman. and THAT my dear is something she can't touch.

butterfly20 Posted: Dec 23, 2003 02:10 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

Posted by Xelindrya

Or you could do what I did and move 4 states away! hehe

that would be very nice!!!!

I would just say that your taking your time picking it out and ordering it!

...my mom was the same way with the whole how much did it cost and all....

shelly3950 Posted: Dec 23, 2003 02:15 PM

Re: Announcing my engagement w/o a ring

If you must give an explanation, tell them that you are waiting to pick out the ring together, but that he proposed, you accepted and so you are engaged!