Annoyed w/ Mother!

My mother just completley annoyed me!

We were talking about my uncle possibly coming from Ecuador for my wedding which is great. I really like my uncle. Anyhow, she then starts talking about how he'll be saying a word or two at the wedding in representation of her family which mostly will not be at my wedding because they are not in the country.

I told her NO, that they're (my parents) are alive and he has no reason to make a toast or speak at my wedding.She said that he would be speaking on behalf of all of my family that can't make it. To which I responded that she's the one that is representing her family because she's my mother.

She sees is as me slighting her family...I love my family on her side but I'm not close with them because of distance. She said that her aunt did it at her wedding...but the difference is is that my mom's family wasn't here for her wedding...her father didn't come up from Ecuador and ofourse her aunt had to give a toast/speech. Which I explained to her but she saw it as me not wanting anything to do with her family.

She got pissed off and hung up on me when I told her that the answer was simply NO.

Maybe I'm just being a bridezilla about this...but I don't want a million speeches.

well how many speeches are there going to be? can he make one at the RD instead of the wedding?


i think maybe your mom just feels sad that most of her family can't make it--its hard for us to understand that because we were born here. my dad did a welcome speech at my wedding in both english and spanish.....and while 1 of my uncles was able to attend---there was not one other member of my father's family in attendance. (denied visas from Peru and financially couldn't come)

i think if my dad said he wanted his brother to speak on behalf of his family from peru....i probably would have been okay with it. they are just so happy and proud to be there....and a few words wouldn't be so bad.

maybe cool off with your mom for a day or two and see how you feel later.

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Posted by MJDoc12

well how many speeches are there going to be? can he make one at the RD instead of the wedding?


i think maybe your mom just feels sad that most of her family can't make it--its hard for us to understand that because we were born here. my dad did a welcome speech at my wedding in both english and spanish.....and while 1 of my uncles was able to attend---there was not one other member of my father's family in attendance. (denied visas from Peru and financially couldn't come)

i think if my dad said he wanted his brother to speak on behalf of his family from peru....i probably would have been okay with it. they are just so happy and proud to be there....and a few words wouldn't be so bad.

maybe cool off with your mom for a day or two and see how you feel later.

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maybe doing one at the RD is an option if they come in by that time.

I know they are proud to be coming, I just feel like I have my parents, they are my representatives for both families. I feel like if he speaks then I can't exclude my fathers side from saying a few words. They are a small family on that side and only 2 couple from that side will be at the wedding.

She was only concerned with her side

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Posted by MJDoc12

well how many speeches are there going to be? can he make one at the RD instead of the wedding?


i think maybe your mom just feels sad that most of her family can't make it--its hard for us to understand that because we were born here. my dad did a welcome speech at my wedding in both english and spanish.....and while 1 of my uncles was able to attend---there was not one other member of my father's family in attendance. (denied visas from Peru and financially couldn't come)

i think if my dad said he wanted his brother to speak on behalf of his family from peru....i probably would have been okay with it. they are just so happy and proud to be there....and a few words wouldn't be so bad.

maybe cool off with your mom for a day or two and see how you feel later.

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I agree.

i'm sorry your dealing with this =[

i would be upset too.. is your father's side doing a speech? if they are then the mother side should be allowed to do so but if their not you should tell her no.. because it wont be fair..

i hope everything works out .. wait a couple of days before you bring up the subject again and try talking to her..

Honestly the RD would be the compromise. Nobody else from FH's side nor on my father's side will be making a toast in terms of extended family.

The people making toasts/speeches are:
MOH
Best Man
FMIL
My Parents

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Posted by bluekat16

Honestly the RD would be the compromise. Nobody else from FH's side nor on my father's side will be making a toast in terms of extended family.

The people making toasts/speeches are:
MOH
Best Man
FMIL
My Parents

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you definitely have enough speeches

wait a few days for her to cool off and try to explain everything to her(how you have alot of speeches already and it wont be fair to your fathers side..etc) Tell her that you can compromise and squeeze the speech into the RD.. then see how she reacts.

I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal for your Uncle to say a few words on behalf of the family who couldn't be there. I really don't see what the problem is, what could it be 3 minutes tops?

But it's your wedding so yeah....that's just IMO.