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anonymous poster - need advice

notme Posted:

anonymous poster - need advice

jeffamanda080808 Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

IMHO...you aren't wrong. If she would have had one would you have been invited? I think that the most respectful way of not 'offending' FSIL is haveing FH call her an just expalin the situation to her. Even if they aren't close, a simple phone call might be able to reduce the RD stress level.

Kimbalina Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

I do not think you are that wrong. .. . . .

But IMHO, I would have invited his sister. Maybe because she is immediate family, in my eyes- although they are not part of the 'big day' SHE is your FH sister, no matter how close they are. If she has never cause some kind of scene or problem I think she should be invited.
trojo1521 Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

I think you should have invited her. Family is family, no matter what. IMHO I would have been offended too.

mariaobride Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

Posted by Kimbalina

I do not think you are that wrong. .. . . .

But IMHO, I would have invited his sister. Maybe because she is immediate family, in my eyes- although they are not part of the 'big day' SHE is your FH sister, no matter how close they are. If she has never cause some kind of scene or problem I think she should be invited.


i have to agree with Kim even though there bond may not be tight they are still family

missliss Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

Regardless of how close they are, it's still his sister and she should have been invited. She may have even said no, but the invitation def. should have been extended. Maybe give her a call to try and smooth things over?
madseason Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

Posted by mariaobride

Posted by Kimbalina

I do not think you are that wrong. .. . . .

But IMHO, I would have invited his sister. Maybe because she is immediate family, in my eyes- although they are not part of the 'big day' SHE is your FH sister, no matter how close they are. If she has never cause some kind of scene or problem I think she should be invited.


i have to agree with Kim even though there bond may not be tight they are still family



I agree with Kim and Maria. We are having our immediate families as well (all siblings happen to be in the BPs) but we would have anyway...family will always be your family.....when friends may not always be your friends.....

can you invite the immediate families...maybe without kids? like an adult dinner if its too many?
kristi313 Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

there really isn't a right or wrong answer here. you made your decision to keep the RD small and you stuck to it. but regardless of how close FH and FSIL are, i can understand why she'd want to be there. You could look at it this way, if I were your FH i would feel really good that she wants to be a part of it. shows alot from someone who he wasn't always the closest with. she could be reaching out to support her brother. but i could also be totally wrong. but i'm thinking it would be a good gesture to include her JMO

loislane Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

I totally understand why she wasn't invited. It's hard when it comes to making lists for things and who to invite and not to invite. I think no matter what you are going to offend people and there is no winning. I do see where she is coming from though because regardless of their relationship she is still his sister and in all honesty if I was in her shoes I would be a bit insulted as well. Well I hope it all works out and you can come to a solution without insulting anyone and not having to invite everyone.

cherish83 Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

Honestly I would've invited her. I get along with my brother but we arent particulary close, but FH asked him to be a Groomsmen for the simple fact that he is family. I understand you have a lot of people from OOT, but what is one more to avoid drama and hurt feelings. If it were me being left out, I would feel like crap.

jessica08bride Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

i think i would have invited her too. i understand they are not close, but it is still immediate family. i dont know the whole story but it doesnt sound like she is trying to have a say in your wedding - only venting to FMIL. i probably would have done the same....as you said, even though they are not close, they get along. just my opinion, but its always stil your choice.

Espo22 Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

sorry but i would've invited her. It doesn't matter how close they are, at the end of the day she is STILL his sister. ALso its not just about the bond between fh and his sister but this is your FIL's daughter, so you really dont want to offend them by not inviting their own daughter. Ive seen siblings who arent that close and this hurts the parents and to have one of the kids excluded at the others events and one such as this, i think its even harder for them. I would think his parents would be happy to see them sharing in eachothers big days.

ALso like you said, nothing bad ever happened between them. If there was bad blood it'd be different.

again sorry but i understand why she is mad, i think she has a right to be. If i had a sibling, no matter how close we were i would expect to be invited to the RD.
Autumn08 Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

I'd probably just say the RD is for those IN the wedding, the BP and parents. She's still invited to the wedding so has absolutely no reason to be upset. HAHAHA I've had a bit of my own family drama lately and I'm not very sensitive.
AR31 Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

i think she should be invited.. she is still his sister regardless of how close they are or not.. especially if that is his only sibling..

Mighty Mouse Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

I agree with those who said you should have sent her an invitation...

It's one thing if your FH wasn't talking to her because of an argument or something like that, then it would be understanding why you guys might not want to invite her...but if they get along, then an invitation should have gone out to her...if it was me I would also invite the family that I am very close with as well...but this is you and it's yours and your FHs decision...wish you luck!
notme Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

heathermatt Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

glad everything worked out because I read this earlier and was goign to write tonight...I think she should have been invited...It would be hard for me not to invite my bro...

MrsK2008 Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

siblings should be invited, plain and simple. Whether they talk or not. Siblings are just waiting for their opportunity to throw a tantrum.

why give them a chance?
lela9282008 Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

I THINK THAT MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE INVITED HER ONLY BC SHE IS FAMILY AND THEN LEFT IT UP TO HER TO COME OR NOT

Yazmin1135 Posted:

Re: anonymous poster - need advice

You're NOT wrong! Explain to her the intimacy of the RD. Unfortunetly, there's always someone who gets offended during a wedding. I've had a lot of drama with this wedding & I'll tell you the best advice someone gave me when I broke down:

A friend reminded me that a wedding is about family & your family now is YOU & your HUSBAND! Do what makes the both of you happy, enjoy every minute that leads up to ur special day because it will all over before you know it & in the end it's still about YOU & YOUR HUSBAND!

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