Another BM bites the dust....

ALright well, FH and I got an email from my 'best-Friend' since 4th grade saying how she is dropping out of the bridal party.
(mind you there is less than 6 months to go)
We are ordering the BM's Dresses this week...and she said she cant afford it and our wedding is the most expensive one out of the 3 weddings she has.
im a lil upset right now.

We havent written her back yet...what do i say?
Do?

PS her daughter is my flower girl...so now who is going to watch her in the limo??

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Posted by DD628

ALright well, FH and I got an email from my 'best-Friend' since 4th grade saying how she is dropping out of the bridal party.
(mind you there is less than 6 months to go)
We are ordering the BM's Dresses this week...and she said she cant afford it and our wedding is the most expensive one out of the 3 weddings she has.
im a lil upset right now.

We havent written her back yet...what do i say?
Do?

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one of my BM;s is doing this to me right no ...except she hasnt made her mind up yet ....

i have been engaged for 2 1/2 years ...they knewt his day was going to come i just dont get it


i have no clue what to do either since she is the only one left out of 10 BM's to go get measured and he's holding everything up

This is just me, but if someone I wanted really really badly in my bridal party backed out, I'd help them with the expenses - if this was their only reason for backing out. My friends are broke. My mom doesn't want them helping w/the shower, other than pitching in, not financially though.

I am seriously picking the cheapest dresses, like David's Bridal - $135 and under and cheap shoes too. I even offered to pay for my share of the bach. weekend because it's more important for me to see my friends and have them there, then to have people go broke.

One of my bridesmaids backed out recently. I knew she would though, she just had a baby and now her sister in law is getting married the same month. She couldn't do it all.

Let her take herself out since you didn't buy the dresses yet. If she goes, let her daughter go too. I hope this doesn't sound mean
How much were the dresses?
I would let her know I am really disappointed since she waited til now to say something.
Do they even need to pay the amt in full to order dresses or just half now?

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Posted by AllyDrew1108

This is just me, but if someone I wanted really really badly in my bridal party backed out, I'd help them with the expenses - if this was their only reason for backing out. My friends are broke. My mom doesn't want them helping w/the shower, other than pitching in, not financially though.

I am seriously picking the cheapest dresses, like David's Bridal - $135 and under and cheap shoes too. I even offered to pay for my share of the bach. weekend because it's more important for me to see my friends and have them there, then to have people go broke.

One of my bridesmaids backed out recently. I knew she would though, she just had a baby and now her sister in law is getting married the same month. She couldn't do it all.

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that's what i offered to do...not pay for it but pay for it now until she has the money

I told her if you need help, I will try to help as much as i can.
I also told her that we have been friends for a looooooooooong time and i have always dreamed of her being in my wedding...
and my wedding is 5 months and 26 days away.
Im a lil upset that she didnt call me.
She did mention to me that she was thinking about it...and then she emails us.
Theres got to be something else...There has been a lot of drama with the BP and she wasnt involved with it, but theres one girl thats been making it miserable for the others....but not sure if thats why.

But, I am a lil more than disappointed ya know?

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Posted by AllyDrew1108

I agree w/the other girls and having her kid as your flower girl is kinda gonna be weird now, right?

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OMG totally!

just the dress and shoes and a gift for the shower and for the wedding

I wasnt planning on her going to the bachelorette party cause she has the baby.
but it wouldnt even be that much...
theres 11 girls!!!!!!

I think its a cop out

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Posted by missexcited

Let her take herself out since you didn't buy the dresses yet. If she goes, let her daughter go too. I hope this doesn't sound mean
How much were the dresses?
I would let her know I am really disappointed since she waited til now to say something.
Do they even need to pay the amt in full to order dresses or just half now?

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just half now.
which is only 90 bucks!

It's none of my business...but i guess it depends how much the dress is...my friend is in a wedding where the BM dress is $350 plus alterations....i made sure to keep my dresses under $200...cause I know i wouldn't/couldn't be in a wedding where the dress was too expensive...out of prinicple mostly..

That being said she should've called and explained...not cool at all. Maybe you should approach it that way...tell her that you wished she would've confided in you about the costs.....

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Posted by DD628

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Posted by missexcited

Let her take herself out since you didn't buy the dresses yet. If she goes, let her daughter go too. I hope this doesn't sound mean
How much were the dresses?
I would let her know I am really disappointed since she waited til now to say something.
Do they even need to pay the amt in full to order dresses or just half now?

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just half now.
which is only 90 bucks!

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If that's the case then u didn't go overboard on the dresses.....she's being silly...unless there is more to it

well the dress is like 180/190
and then alterations for those who need it.

capped out at 70.
so i think i am being fair.

Definitely i think you are being very fair

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Posted by DD628

I told her if you need help, I will try to help as much as i can.
I also told her that we have been friends for a looooooooooong time and i have always dreamed of her being in my wedding...
and my wedding is 5 months and 26 days away.
Im a lil upset that she didnt call me.
She did mention to me that she was thinking about it...and then she emails us.
Theres got to be something else...There has been a lot of drama with the BP and she wasnt involved with it, but theres one girl thats been making it miserable for the others....but not sure if thats why.

But, I am a lil more than disappointed ya know?

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based on this, i'd let her go.. if there was more time then maybe.. but with 5 months to go, i'd let her go and go ahead and order your dresses.. i ordered my dresses in september.. it's now december and we're waiting on delivery.. u don't want delivery at the last minute because u waited for this one lady to make up her mind or tried to convince her of something..it hurts like hell.. but it is what it is..

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Posted by zoe282

It's none of my business...but i guess it depends how much the dress is...my friend is in a wedding where the BM dress is $350 plus alterations....i made sure to keep my dresses under $200...cause I know i wouldn't/couldn't be in a wedding where the dress was too expensive...out of prinicple mostly..

That being said she should've called and explained...not cool at all. Maybe you should approach it that way...tell her that you wished she would've confided in you about the costs.....

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Is your friend in the same wedding I'm in? lol

I am doing my best to keep costs down for my BMs. I don't want them to feel they have to spend all this money on stuff they don't need to.