So we HAVE to invite the children of FMIL's cousins...third cousins and beyond to FH. Not negotiable, even though originally I did say I would prefer no children beyond the first cousins, but I digress...they are contributing a very fair amount to the RH cost, so I can't really say no.
However, I do have full control over my family's meager list...and my father just said that we can extend to two branches of his family, the first cousins. So 6 total couples, 5 of which also have children. I am not inviting them with their children...just man and wife.
Is that appropriate? Because in all honesty, I really don't care. I just am wondering if they'll get a little bent because they see the other side of the family with their kids (if they opt to bring them), and wonder why they weren't even given the option...if you were in the same situation as a guest, would you be upset to see other families there if you weren't able to bring yours?
ace730
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Re: Another Children Etiquette Question
I wouldn't, but there will always be those few (sorry to be blunt) assholes who will complain.
coldasice217
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Re: Another Children Etiquette Question
Posted by ace730
I wouldn't, but there will always be those few (sorry to be blunt) assholes who will complain.
Please don't apologize, I'm the LAST one here to apologize to. Just surprised that we can't say s/uck, but that is apparently fine
smrsun
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Posted by ace730
I wouldn't, but there will always be those few (sorry to be blunt) assholes who will complain.
ITA! You have to think, how often do you see your side of the family. If you are already having kids there from the other side, how many more would it be if you invite from your side? If it's not too many, just give them that option so there is no possible tension.
In my situation, the only kids are in the wedding party. I have a gazillion cousins, so I am inviting only 18 and older cousins, all with a guest. Make a rule so that it's fair if anyone asks...or complains!
But ultimately it is up to you!
coldasice217
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Re: Another Children Etiquette Question
Posted by smrsun
Posted by ace730
I wouldn't, but there will always be those few (sorry to be blunt) assholes who will complain.
ITA! You have to think, how often do you see your side of the family. If you are already having kids there from the other side, how many more would it be if you invite from your side? If it's not too many, just give them that option so there is no possible tension.
In my situation, the only kids are in the wedding party. I have a gazillion cousins, so I am inviting only 18 and older cousins, all with a guest. Make a rule so that it's fair if anyone asks...or complains!
But ultimately it is up to you!
The problem is it would be like 12-13 more kids if we invited them...and I haven't even MET most of them, and these are my third cousins. So that's why it's a bit tricky...I inherited part of my sunshiny personality from my father lol, and he is not close with his extended family, so we're inviting his adult first cousins pretty much to cast a wide net because we have so many guests on FH's side that are very elderly and OOT who will probably decline. I just feel like there's no right answer to this dilemma
MrsBlueRibbon
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Re: Another Children Etiquette Question
I think your FIL's have a lot of nerve! I give you a lot of credit, because that is an issue I wouldn't budge on!
mlcvln129
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Re: Another Children Etiquette Question
FH has a couple of aunts and uncles coming from OOT who HAVE to bring their kids. . .although the young young ones (like 2 and 4) were really quite well behaved during FH's cousin's wedding in November, to the point where NOBODY realized they were there (except for their parents, of course). My sister is having her first baby in April, and I know that she's probably not going to want to keep the baby home all day (we're both control freaks!!!), so my niece will have to be there.
We were going to go with only cousins 12 and older (which is almost all of my cousins except for my 7 year old cousins--yeah, I'm a 6th year teacher and I have cousins in 1st grade. I'll be teaching their same-age peers in a different school district in two years from now when they're in 3rd grade. pretty wild!!!), but after hearing that, I think we're going to wind up saying 'screw it' and give them all the option of bringing their children.
dutchessev
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Re: Another Children Etiquette Question
I wouldn't invite their children especially if u don't know them. Just invite the adults.
HappyBride22
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Re: Another Children Etiquette Question
Since you don't know them you can use that as your excuse, if anyone asks just say that FH sees his cousin's children more often (they don't know if it has to be true or not).
No one is giving me a problem about just keeping things to first cousins, I am very close with all of them , even the younger ones, so I could never imagine not having them.
