another Roman Catholic church ?...

For those of you who were or are living with your FH, was the church aware of that? Or did you tell them you weren't living together? Or do they not even inquire?

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

Jenny, I was always told never tell them that. I don't know how they would react. I feel that it is really none of their business...If they disagree they are only going to 'judge' you.
Even if they ask...Don't tell

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

I'd be interested in this myself. They never asked in my case, but we are almost afraid to let them know. Everyone keeps saying we have to modify our answering maching message to put me on there, but we have yet to do so. How lame are we?

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

You never tell the priest that you live with your FI. If he asked, give him your parents address and telephone number and he can use the address and telephone number where you both live.

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

We met with the priest where we are doing our precana and he asked us both our addresses, which are the same. He didn't say anything. We really couldn't make up or give our parent's addresses since we live in TX, my family is in NY and his in IN. I was kind of worried about that, but they didn't say anything. I think with all the scandal in the church these days, they have no right to judge two people living together before marriage...that is the least of their problems!

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

We met with many priests before finding our church. I didn't want to start off by lying so we told them....none really were bothered by it. I don't think we told our current priest but he saw our precana application with our addresses on it and didn't care.

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

My priest knew me & my FI were living together because we listed te same address on the forms -- he told us 'You know, before entering he sacriment of marriage you cannot live as man and wife. You'll have to stay in seperate rooms or seperate houses' so we said okay -- then when we got home, we were folling around & looked at each other and said -- Ah well -- we'll just have to go to confession -- then we had sex like crazed rabbits.

(I am now ducking from a stray bolt of lightning that could hit me at any time)

If you want to save yourself from a speech, one of you should use a different address. But even my priest, who gave us the speech isn't that tough --> everyone in our pre-cana class lives together and one couple even has a 6 year old kid together.

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Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

A friend of mine is getting married in two weeks and they live together. They had to take a different precana class geared towards couples already living together, but that was it.

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

My Priest knows and I would never lie about it either. For one, why should I lie. I am not ashamed of my decision, nor do I think it is against God in anyway. And for two- I could not lie to someone who is going to be marrying us. I would want him to honestly be giving us his blessing and if he didn't like our situation I would find another who was okay with it. JMO.

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

We are being married in the RC Chirch, but not by a priest, by a Deacon. We told him the truth upfront and he was totally fine with it.

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

We had to fill out some forms with the church and they asked for each of our addresses (we don't live together). So, I assume if they see that you are living at the same address, they may ask you about it.

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

We had the same situation with filling out the forms. My priest didn't say anything, althought I was worried he might. He also said ok to a strapless dress. I guess each priest and church is different. I'm glad I didn't have any problems.

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

My FH and I don't live together and I believe the priest at my church only asked for our addresses. I think if we gave the same address we would get a speech though. In pre-cana we were the only couple (out of 6) NOT living together. Even the pre-cana host couples sounded a bit surprised, like they were used to couples only living together.

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

both our priests (in CA and NY) knew we were living together and didn't give us a speech or lecture about it.

In fact, the Focus test has a special section for couples living together. Its so common these days.

At our engaged encounter, over half the couple were living together.

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

we got lucky...we moved in together about a month after we met with the priest but he didn't ask.

When we had to fill out the Pre Cana application, we had to write in our address and we used our new one. The topic never came up in PreCana but we had made the decision not to hide it. (I think it briefly came up but nothing was said at all!)

From what I heard it really depends on the priest. Some give you a leacture and some just say it is not in the Catholic Church preaching and then go right past it.

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

we told are priest we live together. he was fine with it

Re: another Roman Catholic church ?...

IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY WE WERE GOING TO TELL THE PRIEST WE LIVE TOGETHER NO PROBLEM, THEN WE TOOK THE FOCUS TEST WHICH IS CONSIDERED A COMPATIABILITY TEST AND THERE WERE 30-40 MORE QUESTIONS IF YOU COHABITAT, SO WE DON'T LIVE TOGETHER..