Another wedding

this isnt a vent or a rave - but i just wanted to share

FH's cousin has been dating a girl i guess for maybe a year - she is a girl he dated a long time ago and after they broke up she had a son with another guy who may or may have not been her husband. I think FH's cousin is about 30 so they are a little older than us. On Valentine's day FH's cousin proposed to his girlfriend. None of us knew he was thinking about proposing so it came as a big surprise. Last weekend we got to meet the girl and for a lot of us in FH's family it was the first time to meet her. FH's Aunt (the mother of his cousin) told FH's Mom the day of the engagement that she hoped she wasn't upset that her son would be getting married before FH and I. She told FMIL that FH's cousin and his fiance wanted to plan a summer wedding. FMIL said that she wasnt upset at all and that no matter what FH and I are still going to get married on December 5 and another wedding is a good thing and blah blah blah. FH's Aunt also wanted to make sure that FH wasn't upset that his cousin was getting married first since we got engaged first. FMIL told his Aunt that she didn't think we would be upset at all. Yesterday FH's Aunt called us to invite us over for Easter. She must have called FMIL afterwards because FMIL told us again that she spoke to his Aunt and she wanted to make sure that we weren't upset because her son is going to get married first. She really wanted to make sure that FH wasn't upset that his cousin was getting married before him. I thought it was nice of FH's Aunt to acknowledge the fact that we were engaged first and to be concerned for FMIL's and FH's feelings since we have been planning our wedding already - of course if we were upset (which we are not) there is nothing anyone could do about it anyway.....but I think her acknowledging it was really nice and sweet. FH's cousin hasn't said anything to him about it and I don't know if he will but we did think it was nice of his Aunt to bring it up. In a perfect world I would love if just FH and I were the only ones in our families getting married in 2008 but we don't own the year - if FH's cousin wants to get married within 4 months of his engagement that is fine - there is no rule that says he has to wait until our wedding is over - FH and I chose a date that we LOVE, a time of year we LOVE and a time that for us made sense - we need the time to save (mostly to save! ) and to prepare. I don't think his cousin is doing this to upstage us, or take attention away from us - I am sure he is doing it because he loves his fiance (he better be doing it for that reason ). I've seen people vent on here because they feel other people are stealing their thunder or trying to upstage them but I don't think its worth it to be upset. To be honest the only thought I had was 'OMG what if she buys the same dress as me!' All in all I know our wedding is going to kick a$$ no matter who gets married before us. I just wanted to share and see if anyone else is in a similair situation....

As of now FH and I have two weddings to attend on June 28 (his friend during the day and his cousin at night)

great attitude about the situation!!! have fun at both weddings

people! they aren't that great!

FH and I will have had 2 yr engagement by the time we marry, because we are not made of money and we refused to take a loan to pay for it.

We will be attending 4 weddings before and one a short week after ( not even allowing time for a honeymoon).

And a good friend just told me she is preggers and due beginning of October.

I say, I don't get to have my day the world is against me and I have to s@ck it!

OMG, 2 weddings on the same day? Are you going to wear 2 different dresses! I would!

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Posted by Future Mulligan



As of now FH and I have two weddings to attend on June 28 (his friend during the day and his cousin at night)

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that's a lot of drinking and partying!!!!

Nicole, i have the same attitude as you, we dont own the year, last year i had 7 weddings to go.

This year alot less, the next wedding i have is FH's friend/employee on june 28th!

and my cousins wedding october 12th.


Love your post, you are very postitive!

That's a great way too look at everything

Two parties! That's some serious eating and drinking

I think your attitude about the whole thing is great!

I was one of the ones whose 'thunder' I said was being 'stolen'..

It is FH's father getting married 5 weeks before us. I didn't really care until FMIL, FBILs and my mom were like---***?? Then it sarted to bother me a bit. I still really don't care because I'm not going to let it ruin my relationship with them or my wedding plans. I just don't care--

except for the face that FH's dad's side all live in Massachussetts and will already be coming down for his wedding. Now I feel like they are forced to choose. Some of them I hope dont come..because we hardly know them and could use the declines..but some are important to both of us and we want them there.

Difficult situation..

BUT--it was very nice of her to consult with you!!!

its great you feel that way because honestly getting upset about it wont help you at all and caused added stress that is not necessary. Ive had people get engaged after me and married before me. I cant expect people to revolve their lives around me deciding to have a long engagement.

Hey, more events for you to attend.

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

Nicole, i have the same attitude as you, we dont own the year, !

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good point. so many people lose sight of that. they only way i'd be upset was if they did it like the same week b/c it'd be hectic.

Thats a great attitude!! Both weddings will be great. I dont think she's stealing your thunder, she is in a different season and 6 months before yours.

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Posted by Future Mulligan

i mean dont get me wrong - if they were getting married the day before us or at the same place in the same room as us, or we had to cancel our HM to attend their wedding then maybe id be a little irked - but i just feel like we are the ones who chose to have a 17 month engagement and there is no reason why anyone else we know can't get engaged or married in that time period - we don't own anything - and i know our wedding isnt going to be any less special....i just thought it was nice that his aunt thought of us and our feelings about it - even though like i said there is nothing that coud be done - just her asking and acknowledging it was nice

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exactly!!! You would feel differently if it were closer/same place

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Posted by Mici n KC

OMG, 2 weddings on the same day? Are you going to wear 2 different dresses! I would!

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i dont know what the hell i am going to do!

the first wedding is a friend/co-worker of his and alot of his co-workers that we will be inviting to our wedding will be at this wedding so FH wants to go so I can meet them - but its all the way out in NJ - its actually at this place called the Westmount Country Club - FH always said that if we got married in NJ he'd want to get married at this place (he has worked there so many times so he knows the place inside and out - its actually the total opposite of JT ) so for that reason alone I want to see the place - it looks beautiful and its a nice place for a summer wedding - outdoor ceremony, outdoor CH, really really nice grounds.....but now we'll have to leave early because his cousins wedding is in NYC at the Firemans Museum on spring street - he's having a wedding that was similair to our eparty - everything is DIY its not a RH so i'm sure it will be different and pretty cool - FH's cousin is a fireman so it sounds cool that its in the museum....

i liked a lot of the dresses on that vintage site denise posted a few days ago so i might order from there! i dont know if ill have time for two dresses though!

definitely great attitude. i know what you mean, my BF and cousins got engaged after us and married before... and i soooo didn't care

my co-worker has 3 weddings on my day so of course he is skipping mine b/c he is whipped by his GF and going to her best friends wedding. meanwhile, whose did he know about first

i wouldn't normally care but he is one of my closest friends at work and even out of it

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Posted by Future Mulligan

i mean dont get me wrong - if they were getting married the day before us or at the same place in the same room as us, or we had to cancel our HM to attend their wedding then maybe id be a little irked - but i just feel like we are the ones who chose to have a 17 month engagement and there is no reason why anyone else we know can't get engaged or married in that time period - we don't own anything - and i know our wedding isnt going to be any less special....i just thought it was nice that his aunt thought of us and our feelings about it - even though like i said there is nothing that coud be done - just her asking and acknowledging it was nice

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One thing I would not do is cancel our HM or shorten because they decided to pick that date. FH's cousin got engaged a month after us and is getting married a month after us. We had our hall booked before they picked their date and his aunt said to us that we need to 'hurry up our HM' I couldn't believe she said this to us! How dare you! This is our wedding and our HM! I mean I'm not telling his cousin when to get married but don't tell us what we need to do! I was really ticked off!

I have a similar situation. My cousin who is younger than me got engaged at Christmas 07 and is planning a July 08 wedding. My FH's best friend's sister also got engaged last fall and is planning her wedding for the weekend before ours I am really not worried about either but I was a little nervous until I found out their definite dates.

FH and I wanted a Fall wedding and a nice amount of time to plan and save money to have the nicest day we can afford.

I'm sure it will all work out nicely for all of us

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Posted by snwb08

definitely great attitude. i know what you mean, my BF and cousins got engaged after us and married before... and i soooo didn't care

my co-worker has 3 weddings on my day so of course he is skipping mine b/c he is whipped by his GF and going to her best friends wedding. meanwhile, whose did he know about first

i wouldn't normally care but he is one of my closest friends at work and even out of it

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well i told FH that this girl he works with did get engaged and booked first AND her STD is on our fridge - so we really should attend - and of course we have to attend his cousins wedding - it is his cousin

Weddings are time to celebrate and be happy so you have the right attitude. I was never one to care about who got engaged first or who is getting married first.

We are using the same RH as my cousin and I don't think it will be any less special for us and his wife is so excited to go back and just enjoy all of it without any responsbility.

We have 7 weddings this year not including ours and they are three of FH;s closest friends and three of mine and his cousin. And we think his BM is getting engaged this year and we honestly couldn't be happier for each and every person!

And we are hoping for lots of baby announcements this year too! I say bring on the big bellies!

Its true - I know of so many people who are having 2008 weddings (besides all of us on LIW ) - I think when people are all around the same age/same level of maturity it just happens....of course i cant wait for my own wedding but i am also excited to party it up at other peoples - ill be doing this all night - (we need an icon for getting trashed and dancing )