Any other only children here?

So... how are your parents dealing with you getting married.
And how are you spliting up the holidays. I heard somewhere that only children have it a little harder w/splitting up holidays b/c it's just them lol.

I'm not an only child, but my FH is. I wouldn't say the holiday splitting up is a HUGE problem, but it is a little difficult.

His family gets all the Jewish holidays (because his mother is Jewish, my parents are both Christian). His family hosts a bday party every year for his cousin on July 4th (which is my Mom's bday) that we always go to. So we split July 4th.

We split Thanksgiving, we split Easter, we split Father's Day/Mother's Day. Christmas Eve is my family, and Christmas Day is his.

It's a little annoying because my family only gets Christmas Eve with us all to themselves, so I think eventually we are going to try to need to rework this-- ESPECIALLY when we have kids.

I want to have the house where the holidays are hosted at, in order to avoid this. But I do def think his being an only child may have something to do with this.

Me! Im an only child and ive always hated it, still do.

Well talk more ...gotta run right now

I am sort of an only child...my brother is autistic, so its a completely different situation.

Fortunately we're Jewish and FILs are Presbyterian so its pretty easy to split the holidays....although with the crazy drama that's been going down lately if things don't change then FH and I will be spending Christmas with my parents, eating chinese food and watching movies

i am a middle child (i think that will need a whole other post ), but FH is an only child. not only is FH an only child but his dad passed away so FMIL is really alone if we don't invite her.

holidays are VERY hard. my parents gave me a hard time every year so we kind of worked out a system.

we host Thanksgiving for FMIL & FHs grandmother.

we go to my parents house for Christmas Eve. every other year FMIL joins us there.

we celebrate Christmas morning just the two of us, then go to my parents house for gifts & Christmas Eve leftovers for lunch. then FH cooks at our apartment for FMIL & his grandmother.

New Years Eve we go to our friends house.

we host a Super Bowl party for our friends. (yes that's a holiday in our house)

FH makes St. Patrick's Day for us & FMIL.

we spend Palm Sunday with my family.

we also host Easter for FMIL & FHs grandmother. & every other year FHs aunt, uncle, cousin & cousins girlfriend joins us.

-this also works well for us because we live downstairs from my parents so we see them A LOT.

we hope in the future once we have a bigger apartment maybe we can host one entire holiday for both of our families.
the hardest part about the holidays is because my brother & his family don't do anything with his in-laws. so my parents have them all the time, including Sunday dinners. so my mom has been spoiled over the years.

I am an only child, and my mom is not too happy that I am getting married (just us, my father passed away) but she wasnt happy about me moving to New York in the first place.

For a while she would keep telling me 'you know, you aren't married yet, you could still keep looking.'


Holidays, we arent sure yet. I am Christian, FH's family is Jewish, so if Hannukah and Christmas dont conflict, we could do both, going to Florida for Christmas (if we can afford it)

Im not an only child. But my brother is married and has a daughter so naturally my parents want to spend the holidays with her. They live in NJ and I'm not spending my holiday driving to NJ. So FH and I do what we want.

Thanksiging-I cook for FH's family.
Christmas Eve-I cook for FH's family
Christmas Day- We spend at a friends house.
The weekend after christmas we spend with my parents.

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Posted by MikesBride2B

I am sort of an only child...my brother is autistic, so its a completely different situation.

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because your brother is autistic, he doesnt count?

I really dont want to be rude, but it pains my heart to read this. I have several friends with autistic children, and for someone to imply they aren't as good as a non-autistic child just makes me sad.

Only child here! And everything is just haaaard.
I know that both my parents and I are going to be crying messes on my wedding day, my dad cried at my engagement party! They are finding it hard seeing their only child grow up but are also so happy and proud for me.

And holidays are a bit traumatic. My side of the family is very small when it comes to holiday gatherings while FH family just keeps growing...so when we can we actually try and combine both families together since my side doesn't take up much space If that doesn't work then we alternate. Like last year it was Thanksgiving in NY and Christmas in MA and this year it will be the reversed.

It's all about compromise!!

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Posted by jme78

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Posted by MikesBride2B

I am sort of an only child...my brother is autistic, so its a completely different situation.

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because your brother is autistic, he doesnt count?

I really dont want to be rude, but it pains my heart to read this. I have several friends with autistic children, and for someone to imply they aren't as good as a non-autistic child just makes me sad.

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Thank you for assuming that I'm saying that my brother isn't as good as I am. If you cared to FM me about it instead of airing your concerns in a public forum, I could have explained to you that its a different situation because he will never be married, so they will not have to deal with him going to someone else's house for the holidays.

Please don't assume things about me in the future. I am going back to school so I can dedicate my life's work to people with disabilities. Watch who you judge in the future.

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Posted by jme78

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Posted by MikesBride2B

I am sort of an only child...my brother is autistic, so its a completely different situation.

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because your brother is autistic, he doesnt count?

I really dont want to be rude, but it pains my heart to read this. I have several friends with autistic children, and for someone to imply they aren't as good as a non-autistic child just makes me sad.

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I think you misread her comment and i dont think in anyway she said he doesnt count.

I am an only child and FH has a half sister who is bout 15 years older that was adopted at birth by another family so he grew up as an only child too. My parents are elated to see me getting married. I moved out of my parents when I went away to college and for them, that was the hardest part of letting go. When I moved back home for law school, they were happy to have me there but that was only temporary until I passed the bar exam and landed a job...Then when I did, I bought an apartment about 5 miles away from them and moved out...So my parents are already used to not seeing me much on a daily basis...

The hardest part for me was really moving in with my fiance and getting used to daily living. We opted to live together first before marriage to see how it works out and because he terrified of divorce (his parents divorced after 25 years of marriage!). It has worked out well because we are crazier about each other than ever before!

I'm an only child and my parents couldn't be happier than I am 'finally' getting married!

We've had it very easy with holidays---for all Jewish Holidays (this year at least), we've been with both sets of parents together since they've become good friends. For Thanksgiving, we'll always go to Florida where FMIL and her husband live. I am okay leaving my parents for T-day because I get so spend the weekend in sunny FL!

And for Christmas, we go away just the two of us since we're Jewish.

i am not an only child but fh is. our situation is pretty complicated because his parents are divorced and my parents recently got divorced so this year is going to be really complicated. in the past we tried to go to all three houses for a holiday but that was too much as it is. now there are four places to go this year and it stinks having to pick and choose.

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Thank you for assuming that I'm saying that my brother isn't as good as I am. If you cared to FM me about it instead of airing your concerns in a public forum, I could have explained to you that its a different situation because he will never be married, so they will not have to deal with him going to someone else's house for the holidays.

Please don't assume things about me in the future. I am going back to school so I can dedicate my life's work to people with disabilities. Watch who you judge in the future.

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you are SO right.
I had a bad afternoon and was snappish and cranky. I have no right to judge you or your relationship with your brother.

I sincerely apologize, It was way out of line.

And thank you for dedicating your life to those with disabilities.

im not an only child but im definitely closer to my mom then my sister... she gets so teary eyed when she brings up me leaving next year, its gonna be a mess the day of

we already try to do each holiday with both our families together so i think thats gonna be the plan for after were married also

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Posted by MikesBride2B

I am sort of an only child...my brother is autistic, so its a completely different situation.

Fortunately we're Jewish and FILs are Presbyterian so its pretty easy to split the holidays....although with the crazy drama that's been going down lately if things don't change then FH and I will be spending Christmas with my parents, eating chinese food and watching movies

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This makes me sick.