any regrets?

SeaMaiden Posted: Feb 18, 2007 10:50 AM

any regrets?

I am going to be married in Nov.08 and we are paying for the wedding ourselves, which will be about 30K. I am starting to wonder if spending this kind of $$ is worth it in the big picture as we consider life after wedding with mortgages, babies ect. Now that your 2006 weddings are finished, do you have any regrets about how much you spent on the big day? Would you have done anything differently in preparation?

Goldi1021 Posted: Feb 18, 2007 11:03 AM

Re: any regrets?

DH and I paid for a percentage of our wedding - not the whole thing. We are hardly rolling in it now, but we are far from destitute. I have no regrets about the money spent at all and neither does my family - it is what they wanted to do.

It is hard to imagine spending a lot of money for one day, but it is the beginning of the rest of your lives together and is worthy of a grand celebration. I have said this many times in previous posts, the only true way to gauge whether or not you can afford the wedding of your dreams is if you have piles of credit card bills or if you owe friends/family money afterwards. If that is the case, then perhaps scaling things down would be a good idea. If after you wedding day you owe nothing to any entity, then enjoy it.

Also, do not let the 'grand scheme of things' scare you. It is more rare than common to purchase a home either immediately before or after a wedding. Nobody in my parents' generation owned a home when they got married and their generation was better off financially than mine. They lived in one bedroom apartments which they shared with 2 and 3 children and they made it work. Take your time and enjoy!

RadioLau Posted: Feb 18, 2007 11:18 AM

Re: any regrets?

We had some help from both sets of parents but we didn't go overboard with anything. Our biggest splurge was the bad but otherwise we did everything else very budgeted. No regrets.

October Bliss Posted: Feb 18, 2007 11:24 AM

Re: any regrets?

We paid for 99.9% the wedding ourselves (the .1% was my dress and veil, which my mother bought). There is not once cent we regret spending. Our day was magical, and worth every penny and every moment. If I could change anything it would only be to somehow find a way to make it last longer and not fly by in a blink.

SummerBride06 Posted: Feb 18, 2007 11:38 AM

Re: any regrets?

i regret vendors more than money spent.

we paid for the majority of the wedding and i'm very happy with how things were spent. we had a daytime wedding and saved tons of $$$ that way. that's the best thing i did.

we did what we could afford and only booked for what we knew we could pay for by saving, NOT paying on CC or taking out a loan. that was very important to us.

little details like having low CPs instead of high, saturday daytime instead of night, inexpensive wedding dress instead of designer, etc. really helped keep the costs down. i saved thousands doing that.

LBride Posted: Feb 18, 2007 12:04 PM

Re: any regrets?

I'm sure there were some things that I could have done without and saved some money, like the aisle runner, the personal unity candle, the expensive accessories, BP gifts, etc... overall though it was worth every penny! If you just stick to the basics, you should be okay!

SeaMaiden Posted: Feb 18, 2007 02:24 PM

Re: any regrets?

Thanks guys, I'm feeling a little better...I guess it's the last time we will get to celebrate 'us' without feeling so guilty about spending mucho $$$!

MayBride06 Posted: Feb 18, 2007 03:25 PM

Re: any regrets?

Not one regret. We paid for 75% pf the wedding and although DH would probably differ on whether or not it was wasted, I do not think one penny was wasted. We did not put ourselves in debt over it and knew that no matter what we would have a certain amount in the bank a day before the wedding. I never had a Sweet Sixteen, or a graduation party, etc...so to me, having the big wedding was all of these events combined! It was worth every single penny and then some!

Just remember...you typically regret the things you don't do in life, not usually the things you do!

Wintersbride Posted: Feb 18, 2007 03:43 PM

Re: any regrets?

It depends on your situation, I guess. I have mixed emotions about it in retrospect. I think if you are both making good money, everything will be fine. Just don't go overboard, and definitely do not go into it thinking you will get back what you put into it. Luckily my parents helped a lot.

MayBride06 Posted: Feb 18, 2007 03:46 PM

Re: any regrets?

Posted by Goldi1021

Also, do not let the 'grand scheme of things' scare you. It is more rare than common to purchase a home either immediately before or after a wedding. Nobody in my parents' generation owned a home when they got married and their generation was better off financially than mine. They lived in one bedroom apartments which they shared with 2 and 3 children and they made it work. Take your time and enjoy!

This is so true. Try not to keep up so much with the Joneses b/c you don't really know how the Joneses are paying for their things.

libby2595 Posted: Feb 18, 2007 04:08 PM

Re: any regrets?

every bride/couple is different. with that said, we paid for most of our wedding. in the last month of our planning, a lot of $h!t hit the fan and it ended up being more than we planned. even with that, (like stated above) i regret vendors not money.

with wanting to buy a house right now, there are moments when i think 'if i had that money now', but in the end, i'm glad i had the wedding i had and i don't regret a single penny.

waterspout4 Posted: Feb 18, 2007 04:13 PM

Re: any regrets?

We paid for our wedding ourselves and do not regret any of it!! We are very glad that we saved money on certain things that weren't that important. You can always find ways to save money if you want to. Good luck!!!

sr081906 Posted: Feb 18, 2007 09:39 PM

Re: any regrets?

No regrets. The wedding was exactly what we wanted. We stayed on the budget we had decided and paid 100% of the wedding.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Feb 18, 2007 11:51 PM

Re: any regrets?

No regrets here either. We paid for about half of the wedding. We are now searching for a house, and my mom asked me if I wish now we had used that money for a house and my answer was no. The house will come, we can save more money, but our wedding day will never come again. It was totally worth it. All my married friends I talk to say the same thing, so don't worry.
And to get the other side of things - my parents did not have a big wedding. They got married in a friends house. They are still happily married over 30 years later, but my mom totally regrets not having the big wedding.

ali120206 Posted: Feb 19, 2007 08:29 AM

Re: any regrets?

I have no regrets at all! I thought in the beginning that I might, since you are spending a lot of money for one day but, the day was the most amazing day ever and worth every penny! I wouldn't trade it for anything!

beautyq115 Posted: Feb 19, 2007 08:35 AM

Re: any regrets?

We paid for large percentage of our wedding...and our parents paid for things as well!

We tried to keep costs down..like having a Sunday night wedding, using low CP, used the cake from the Swan Club and I did many DIY projects like programs and menus.

I have absolutely NO regrets whatsoever!! It was really the BEST day of our lives. We had an awesome time and our guests are still to this day talking about it. It was great to see all of our family and friends in one place for one day...that to me is something money cannot buy!

DandS Posted: Feb 19, 2007 01:37 PM

Re: any regrets?

We do not have one regret about spending the money. It was a lot, but we both got the wedding we dreamed of. If I was going to cut out certain things, I would cut out the place card holders and the chocolate favors that the catering hall forgot to put out (but if they did put it out I am sure they would have been a hit), the church alter flowers. Other than that, everything was well spent. We set a budget and actually came just under it. We were very happy in the end with everything.

M&S Sept12006 Posted: Feb 19, 2007 04:40 PM

Re: any regrets?

Have your wedding! You will not regret any of it! You have more than enough time to slowly save and pay the entire affair off! We paid for our wedding ourselves and we do not regret a penny we spent! Once you experience that joyful day, you'll think to yourself that you'd regret it if you did not go through with it!

akaMrsT Posted: Feb 20, 2007 09:06 PM

Re: any regrets?

We paid for the wedding 100% and I cannot say that we regret any of the money spent. So many people say that you can use that money for a house but with the price of houses in this area $40K not spent for the wedding will not even save you from paying mortgage insurance.

I never dreamed of a wedding as a little girl but DH was dead set on having a wedding. My family goes to the Justice of the Peace and the courthouse for weddings but DH's family is really into weddings so I went along for the ride.

I can say that I regret some of the stress that went with the planning but not the day itself. There is not one thing that I can say was a waste of money - well the champange flutes that we didn't even use but not more than small things like that.