Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

Original post by thelastresort

Aug 30, 2007 11:57 AM

I really am not thrilled with the idea of changing my last name. FH is adamant about it though and I'm not about to have that argument again.

I'm kind of freaking out though b/c I ran into an ex this morning (who is an arrogant jerk) and afterwards, I remembered how excited I was when I was with him to become Mrs. Jerk. I was much younger, naive and not a professional back then, but I was kind of disturbed by that. I dont' think I have ever doodled my name with my new last name. Is that weird? Or is it b/c I'm almost 30 and haven't doodled since high school and if I was doodling at 30 years old, THAT would be weird?

jennscott Posted: Aug 30, 2007 03:50 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

i totally understand you dilemma. i've heard some people who made their maiden name into their middle name once they got married. maybe that would work.

when i was growing up, i hated my last name and couldn't wait to get married to change it. once i entered the job force, i enjoyed having my last name because it's unique and everyone knew who i was when i called. now, i've decided to take FH's last name and i'm happy about it. i teach, so i'm sure that after the wedding, some of my kids will call me by my maiden name and others by my married name.

now, the best is that my brother is dating a girl with the same first name as mine. if they do get married, she'll actually have my entire name ... so maybe it's good that i'm taking FH's name!

stickymartini Posted: Aug 30, 2007 04:01 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

Im sort of on the fence with this one.
I happen to REALLY like my name!! LOL
Im excited to be called Mrs. T.. but the thought of changing all of my accounts and credit cards and getting new checks blah blah blah does NOT thrill me.
It's sort of llike loosing a little part of yourself if you think about it.
We're sheding who we were - to become someone else.
I think I might have to have a party for myself to mourn the loss of my last name.
Can I register for more presents for something like that??

drpepper318 Posted: Aug 30, 2007 04:09 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

Posted by stickymartini

Im sort of on the fence with this one.
I happen to REALLY like my name!! LOL
Im excited to be called Mrs. T.. but the thought of changing all of my accounts and credit cards and getting new checks blah blah blah does NOT thrill me.
It's sort of llike loosing a little part of yourself if you think about it.
We're sheding who we were - to become someone else.
I think I might have to have a party for myself to mourn the loss of my last name.
Can I register for more presents for something like that??

I felt exactly as you described! I love being Mrs. H and I love being called that, but I don't like changing it on all my paperwork... I'm used to seeing my old last name and I don't like losing that. So for now I haven't changed a thing! lol But people call me Mrs. H which I love.

Mich0621 Posted: Aug 30, 2007 04:14 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

I am actually excited to change my last name, because no one actually spells or pronounces my last name correctly, EVEN AFTER I CORRECT THEM! You know, because why should I know how to say and spell my last name? Generally, a good deal of people can figure out FH's name! So, yes, I am excited.

However, I see your point. You had your name all your life and once you are a professional, it is tough to change your name (I really pondered this, and decided to change it across the board, and as a lawyer, I cannot tell you how many eyerolls and snide remarks I have dealt with!) You have to do what is right for you-maybe keep your name professionally and use his name in regular life?

tbone66 Posted: Aug 30, 2007 04:46 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

For me, I decided to hypenate. Being a bride in her early thirties, professionally I did not feel that I could change my name. FH wanted me to have the same last name as our kids so hypenating was the compromise.

LB and DC Posted: Aug 30, 2007 05:08 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

i am sorry, i can't sympathize. i have never really liked my last name (german) but i loooove FH's last name (italian) - and it's the first time i have ever felt that another last name would go with my weird first name!!

znycgirl Posted: Aug 30, 2007 06:19 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

I AGREE WITH YOU.....

And I think more people do than represented here.

My last name is very ethnic, very hard to pronounce & has 11 letters. I never was crazy about it...but come time to get married: I just couldn't. I'm 30 too. I've lived half my life with my name...and it's mine. I'm a professional & it is the name that I worked so hard to receive degrees under.

He felt so strongly about us all (in the future) having the same last name as a family. His last name is long too (but easier to pronounce). Hyphenation was not an option (way too long & the kids wouldn't learn it until college).

Here's the option I took: I used my LAST name as a middle name & added on his last name.
Thus my name is: MY FIRST MY LAST HIS LAST.
No hyphen.

It's a serious option & changing my name was no problem.

jenn122397 Posted: Aug 30, 2007 07:23 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

i love my last name - but have decided to take FHs. i think it would be disrespectful not to
but FHs last name is pretty common and it rhymes with pecker and u all kno that will be the first thing my seventh graders point out!

Michi9506 Posted: Aug 30, 2007 09:29 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

Hate my last name so cant wait

weddingbunny Posted: Aug 30, 2007 09:45 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

I'm not too psyched about it - if nothing else, to be entirely blunt, I like my family better. It makes me kind of sad to feel like I'm giving up that family identity... and I'm not sure I want to be identified with his family! (not that they're awful, we get along fine... I just like mine better )

also, I'm a teacher and I'm getting married about a month into the school year (yeah, great planning on my part) so it's a pain because I have to fill out a ton of paperwork now for payroll and benefits and everything for the school year, and then I have to redo it all in October... not to mention that there's pretty much no way I can have the kids call me one name for a month and then suddenly change it a month in, so I'm basically stuck as Ms. Mylastname for the school year anyway (which is going to be weird, having one name in school and another everywhere else...)

plus it's a pain to have to change your name on everything you own, basically.

So, overall, I'm not too psyched about it - I'm only 23, but I DO feel pretty attached to my name. So, officially, I'm keeping my name as a sort of second middle name - I'll go by his last name, but my name will still be there in an official capacity.

crystalsky Posted: Aug 30, 2007 10:36 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

I have been upfront in that I am not going to change my name. Not legally at least. Growing up I hated my name.. was constantly picked on and made self conscious. Now I have finally come to appreciate it and am not planning on changing it legally. It's me, it's who I am. If someone calls me by my FH's last name I am not going to correct them..Maybe I will feel differently one I have kids, but for now, I am staying Crystal Sky

GinaBambina08 Posted: Aug 30, 2007 10:38 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

I'm not, FH's last name is Hooks! (08er crashing)

AllJoy Posted: Aug 30, 2007 10:41 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

I'm keeping my name and FH is find with it. I also have sentimental reasons for not taking his.

SuzArtie69 Posted: Aug 31, 2007 10:22 AM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

Posted by twinkle164

First let me say. I'm glad you are not Mrs.Jerk.

But I totally understand. I think if I was 20 it wouldn't be an issue. I would just do it, but I'm 35. I feel like my name IS who I am. To change it would loose my identity. FH and I have had a number of talk (and they were talks) about it. He was not comfortable with me not changing my name and I was not comfortable changing it. I finally said I would hyphenate it. (And you know my name that would be quite a mouth full) But then he said, that he was sorry he was giving me a hard time and that it really didn't matter.

I don't think I will rush out and have it done. But maybe in a few months or years, I will hyphenate it. I does look very professional to have a hyphenated name. It's just it wont fit on anything. My name is 9 letter and his is 7. Oh well. At least no one else will ever have the same name as I me.

I hear ya on this one, but if I hyphenate it I'll be at 17. I want to take his, it's shorter . I haven't made the decision yet. I know if I do take his, it will be in the new year.

twinkle164 Posted: Aug 31, 2007 10:24 AM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

Posted by crystalsky

I have been upfront in that I am not going to change my name. Not legally at least. Growing up I hated my name.. was constantly picked on and made self conscious. Now I have finally come to appreciate it and am not planning on changing it legally. It's me, it's who I am. If someone calls me by my FH's last name I am not going to correct them..Maybe I will feel differently one I have kids, but for now, I am staying Crystal Sky

I love Crystal Sky. You can't ever change that. It's perfect.

I've been thinking a lot about it and FH and I have discussed it and I have decided. No Hyphenating. I'm keeping my name the way it is. No change. I had the same trouble growing up. I hated my name but now it is who I am. So I'm keeping it.

JMM7876 Posted: Aug 31, 2007 10:25 AM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

I am excited about changing my name...and my initials stay the same!

LaurenSchatz Posted: Aug 31, 2007 11:28 AM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

Posted by cookiemonster

I am not at all excited about this. I'm totally excited about being his wife, but I'm the only child in my family and my last name dies with me, so I feel very bad about changing it. Too long and silly sounding to hyphenate, and would be a long and awkward middle name for kids. It makes me very sad

I agree - I am sad to change it but I am a traditional girl so I am going thru with it. I am the last of my family with our name and when I change it, it will be gone!

Plus everyone calls me by my last name, so I feel like I am going to have major identidy issues!

DrWho Posted: Aug 31, 2007 11:34 AM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

I know a woman who kept her name for professional reasons. Apparently, having a hyphenated name was a pain in the a$$, although I'm not sure why. I imagine everyone called her Dr. Hisname anyway. 5 years later, it's changed, which is good for me, because
The Doctors Hisname
looked much better than
Dr. Hisfirst Hislast and Dr. Herfirst Herlast-Hislast
on their invitation.

eeelisas Posted: Aug 31, 2007 11:45 AM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

I can't wait!! I love my last name, real Italian, but I'm going to change to another real Italian one so it's not a big deal. I'm so excited about being called Mrs. G**** . He's the only son in the family, so he'll be carrying on his familie's name. I have incredible in-laws so I don't mind at all. To me it's something new and exciting! I have to start practicing my signature now with my new last name. LOL That's one thing that might be hard...remembering to sign with HIS name not mine!

KandR419 Posted: Aug 31, 2007 12:00 PM

Re: Anybody NOT excited about changing their name?

I do want to change my name and am excited about it, but a little sad about it too. My last name is japanese and 99% of the time nobody knows how to say it, so my entire life I said I can't wait to change it to (hopefully) something easier. Now that that is happening though, I'm really going to miss it.