Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
MJDoc12
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Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
Over the past week or two, it seems like there have been a lot of girls on the 08 boards with relationship issues like post poning or cancelling the wedding...or taking a 'break' from their relationshp, etc. I feel so bad for these poor brides who are going thru rough times!
How do you think you ladies would deal if FH said he wanted to take a 'break' or post pone the wedding?
a friend of mine married in 2005, and about 6 months before the wedding he TOLD HIS FW: 'I'm not ready to get married, I need more time' and her response was 'OMG, what about the WEDDING?!'
needless to say they have discussed divorce SEVERAL times since then and have the worst marriage i've ever seen.
anglbyme
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
That is horrible! I would be devestated if that happened to FH and I. I think I would really hurt him bad if he pulled that crap on me, with 19 days left! Luckily we have pulled through so much in the last 13.5 years that I think we can handle a marriage.
MrsQ-in2007
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
Yeah I've seen the posts on '08 and I feel sooo bad about it. It's so strange how a lot are happening all at once. I hope they are all able to work it out!!!
I have no idea how I'd react if my FH told me he needed a break. I'd be devastated, honestly, and would try to figure out what the heck was up. BUT if my FH seriously had doubts etc I would not want to marry him. Marriage is difficult enough without having doubts. I just would never feel settled/happy if I knew that he wasn't sure he wanted to marry me.
StarryEyedBride
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
Aww.. oh no! Thats' terrible... what a shame. I guess its better to figure it out now than after the wedding. If FH said he wasn't ready I'd kill him because we've invested so much into this and have already been engaged for 2yrs and I would hope he felt he could tell me anything and I would wonder why he waited till the last minute. But I'd rather know before the wedding, than after
SuzArtie69
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
Wow that's so sad. I hope they can work it out. I would probably cry and then beat the living daylights out of him. I wouldn't want to marry him if he felt that way. We've been together for 5 years now and I can't imagine my life without him.
rkl1130
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
That is terrible
Personally, I don't know what I would do if put in that situation. After almost 8 years together, we've definitely had our ups and downs but we are both certain this is what we want to do. I think that if there are niggling doubts, it's better to hash them out beforehand than down the road and end up divorcing. Because it's such a big time in your life and a big change, it's natural for people to step back and re-assess their life and situation. In the even this happens, I think it's important to talk about it and what's going on as opposed to freaking out (which is a natural reaction). Sometimes, you will find that it's cold feet since it is a big step...other times, you will find that there may have been issues there under the surface that were either ignored or never really uncovered.
MrsMagoo
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
I've been there. It was the hardest thing to go through, but I would rather it now than later on. We are stronger than ever, but it was hard for both of us to work through.
I feel bad for the '08 brides going through it - but seriously now is the time...not later. If there are doubts at all, time needs to be taken to talk things out, time for themselves...
AMGBride2008
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
I feel bad for my poor 08 girls. Some of them seem confident that everything will work out, other's, not so much .
I don't know what I would do if FH just all of a sudden didn't want what we have, but I'd appreciate him telling me now rather than later... do you know how expensive divorce is?!?!!?
cherilicious16
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
I don't think I could handle calling off the wedding. I would be inconsolable.
bonitachyc
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
I just spent the large part of my lunch stalking the 08 boards and am soo down right now...poor girlies!! everything happens for a reason...'what don't kill you will only make you stronger.'
Pencils
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
Posted by MJDoc12 How do you think you ladies would deal if FH said he wanted to take a 'break' or post pone the wedding?
I would be completely and utterly devastated. And shocked. That said, I can't imagine it happening. Really. I know a lot of women never see it coming, but I can't imagine it. I haven't done anything that would make my FH doubt me, and he's not the jealous type. And I know him--he's a totally monogamous guy. He wants to be married, he wants to be with me, and I know he'd be a total wreck if I left him, so I can't imagine him leaving me. But then we're older than most of you guys, and we've learned from our mistakes in previous relationships. I realize not everyone learns from their previous mistakes, but we have, really. We're terribly lucky in that we've found each other, and we know it. We're not going to screw this one up. I'm not saying we have a perfect relationship, we don't, of course. But I think it's a very successful one, and I think we're going to have a long and happy marriage.
Pencils
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
And I do feel terrible for the 08 brides who are dealing with this stuff, but, believe me, it's MUCH better to call off a wedding than to get divorced. Much better. Happened in my own family, and believe me, we were all VERY relieved when they called off the wedding, because it was like watching a train speeding towards a break in the tracks. Luckily, they were able to stop the train before the crash, and everyone survived...but not together, with other people.
cuteauburnininny
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
Posted by MrsMagoo
I've been there. It was the hardest thing to go through, but I would rather it now than later on. We are stronger than ever, but it was hard for both of us to work through.
I feel bad for the '08 brides going through it - but seriously now is the time...not later. If there are doubts at all, time needs to be taken to talk things out, time for themselves...
my fh and i had our falling out back in feb. it hurt soo much. its a hard thing to deal with. but fh and i worked it out and we are going to therapy together and i must say also things are going stronger now then ever before. i biggest thing was communication. we both thought we were mind readers
i couldn't see my life without my fh i love him so much
Becks526
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
This is terrible for these girls to go through, but I agree that it's better to seperate now than after they get married. I can't imagine what I'd do if FH and I broke up...I'd be devistated for a while, then hopefully would be able to move on.
It appears that a lot of the issues that are popping up are over things like trust, respect, and communication. I feel like FH and I have a great ability to talk things out. I know things won't always be sunshine and rainbows for us, but we'll be able to work through the bad times!
Christys0925
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
Thats horrible !!! Better to find out before hand than end up divorced after a few months though !!
bettybcafe
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
I havent really been checking out the 08 boards lately..but that is very sad to hear. I coudnt imagine what I would do if FH pulled something like that on me...
NinaChris07
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
My BM (who is also an '08 bride) pointed that out to me this morning...
It's very sad...
If FH pulled that 'break' thing, I think it would be a sign of worse things to come. Some of the ladies here are saying, better to know now than after the wedding... but it looks like some want to stick with getting married to their FH...
I think the whole 'I need a break thing' is fine when you are dating and going through ups and downs (I am sure a lot of us have been there). However, once you are engaged, you are preparing to be married for the rest of your life. You therefore should not be on and off again - you should really think about the relationship at that point - bc marriage is a full time commitment... you can't take a break from a marriage.....
SeptBride70
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
If Vinny wanted to postpone the wedding (I guess let's pretend that we weren't married first lol)... But if he wanted to either cancel it or put it off I would immediately feel the need to work on US... I think the 'wedding' would be the last thing on my mind in terms of importance.
I would want to go to counseling with him and sit down and discuss what is wrong, what we are not doing correctly, open up the lines of communication and take it from there. Then, I would decide if we want to continue the relationship or if we are better off going our seperate ways.
But in terms of worrying about the wedding... Hellllll NO... that would be the last thing on my mind b/c it, at the end of the day, means NOTHING unless Vinny and I are OK...
LyseeH
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
That is horrible!
I agree with the girls on if DH would have wanted to take a break I would be hurt but I would make myself understand. I would take the break. The guy might not so much cheat on them or not trust them, it might just be too much. Marriage is a HUGE step. My DH and I have said from the beginning, we aren't getting a divorce once we are married. I will not be one of those 50%!!!
Guys just freak out a little, and if you end up not being together after the break, it just wasn't supposed to be.
Everything happens for a reason!
LyseeH
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Re: Anyone chking out the 08 board and the relationship problems?!
Posted by MrsDaniRella
But in terms of worrying about the wedding... Hellllll NO... that would be the last thing on my mind b/c it, at the end of the day, means NOTHING unless Vinny and I are OK...
