Anyone else dealing with controlling parents/FIL's?

FIL's have always been overprotective.

BUT FH is 28 now.

Tonight he got home from work and after dinner said ok, I'm gonna pack and go to Jamie's..and they flipped out because it's going to rain.

RAIN.

HE IS TWENTY EIGHT!!!

Then the fight escalated to you're never home and you treat this house like ahotel and your room is dusty and you never do what we tell you..


HE'S TWENTY EIGHT!!?

So he was suppose dto come here tonight and now he's not because he doesn't want to deal with them

I'm afraid of having to set boundaries when we get married but this **** is not going to fly. HE's not going to be over there all the time. He'll be MY husband. I know they feel like they never see him, but he gets home from work between 7 and 8 every night and they go to bed at 9... but we also spend every Sunday there, so what more do they want?

I feel so bad that he's still stuck there,and it's partly because of what this wedding is costing and thefact that I still haven't found a decent job... I'm so sorry he's stuck there, I feel like it's my fault. He's so frustrated and if it weren't for the wedding he could have moved out a long time ago.

::Sigh::

Can anyone relate?

Siiiiigh

That sucks

The good thing is that I haven't lived at home since I was 18.....

The bad thing is that FMIL takes every opportunity to whine that she wants more grandchildren (she has 2!)

FH finally told her that she needed to chill out or else I will never come visit

Wow! You better end this now before it gets really outta hand!!! I dont know why some parents have to be like that!!! My ex's parents were like that! It was always his family before me - UGHH

---

Posted by snowflakes11

Wow! You better end this now before it gets really outta hand!!! I dont know why some parents have to be like that!!! My ex's parents were like that! It was always his family before me - UGHH

---

Honestly FH has gotten a lot better about it since we started dating 6 years ago. He stands up for himself... but his mother is so irrational, and she's ALWAYS 'right', so there's no reasoning with her. So everyone winds up upset and it doesn't get aywhere which is why he tried not to rock the boat. He tends to defend himself when they get like this though and i'm rpoud of him for that. I'm just sad he still has to deal with this like he's 16.

SAME BOAT!!! FH is 30!!!! And FMIL still holds his hand over the dinner table when we go out, and refers to him as her 'baby'.....ugh.....nauseating!!!!!

But you DO need to set boundaries NOW! I moved here for FH, and within the first 10 months of moving I wanted to end it- because of his parents.

It finally came down to FH and I sitting down, and discussing the familial boundaries (we were not allowed to raise our voices- and GOOD GOD it was hard).

He now does dinner with his mom every Wednesday, and I am not required to see them unless they request to see me. It may not work for every couple, but it works for us!

SET YOUR BOUNDARIES!!!!

So frustrating

Hopefully new boundaries will be set when he moves out

Question- does he have a sister? My mom always said that women who only have sons get a 'Queen Bee Complex'. That no one has ever challenged them and they have always just been 'right'. And gosh does my FMIL have a Queen Bee Complex!