asking parents for money? We have been on our own for awhile and I dont know how to ask.. but we really could use the help! I didnt even expect my mom to pay for my dress since she is kind of tight on $$ as well. I am still shocked actually... how did those of you who asked go about it?? My FI says that his mom wants to help but she is waiting for us to ask.. I dont get it b/c she offered to pay for the favors a long time ago.. I just assume if they want to help they would offer (?)
I kind of was brought up hearing from my dad all the complaining that he had 2 girls and all the $ he was going to have to shell out for weddings. So I didnt really have to ask, but as far as the amount that he is going to give, I am kind of communicating through my mom. It is a wierd subject, but maybe if you offer to pay them back? Good luck.
hbradio
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Member since
Re: Anyone else feel awkward
I assumed you had help already cause you have bought so much already!
But anyway, my mom is paying for my dress & everything that goes along with that. I still need to approach my dad (parents are divorced) and my FI needs to approach his parents - but there never seems to be a good time!
Who would have thought we'd feel so awkward in front of our PARENTS?!?????
I am dying for some advice over here as well....
luvsun27
Posted:
Member since
Re: Anyone else feel awkward
Well...I had to swallow my pride and ask. But, I never actaully asked
When we were talking about the hall, I showed my parents the menu and told them that I wasn't adding any extras...due to the money. My dad said not to worry about it...I said 'why...are you paying?' (with a sarcastic tone in my voice). He said...your mother is the banker, ask her. My mom said...don't worry about it. So, I just go about making my plans. A few weeks later, my parents asked me for a final number...and I told them my budget (based on what FH and I decided we could afford). She said they would give me 1/2 of my budget(budget was 15K...they are giving 7500).
Then...it came a time where I had to leave the hall the 75% deposit...and I didn't have all of it. So, I had to ask my mom...you know that 7500 you said you were going to give us...when will that be? So...she gave us a check. I used some to pay the hall and the rest is sitting in the bank to pay for some other stuff when it gets closer.
ETS: FH was afraid to ask his parents...but they sent us a check for 3K. So...thankfully...both of our parents are helping out. We are very lucky
Donna
Posted:
Member since
Re: Anyone else feel awkward
Maybe just say something like -
'we are trying to budget and plan ahead for the flowers/favors/band/etc. You had mentioned at one time that you wanted to help us out. Do you still want to?
If she says yes, then say 'Great, do you have any idea about how much?'
Good luck!
divabride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Anyone else feel awkward
Ha!!! I had the same exact post a month ago!! Here's the jist of it 'Chris and I are trying to figure out a budget. We were wondering if you were planning on helping us out. Im not counting on you guys giving me money, because if you dont that's OK. But again, we just wanted to see what our resources are so we can budget how much we can spend on what. What ever amount of money would be really appreciated, but not expected.' Hope this helps. Edit: Bumped my post for you!!!
AJsMommy122
Posted:
Member since
Re: Anyone else feel awkward
Posted by hbradio
I assumed you had help already cause you have bought so much already!
But anyway, my mom is paying for my dress & everything that goes along with that. I still need to approach my dad (parents are divorced) and my FI needs to approach his parents - but there never seems to be a good time!
Who would have thought we'd feel so awkward in front of our PARENTS?!?????
I am dying for some advice over here as well....
Im glad u feel the same way... well not glad but I am not alone... we are doing ok and I dont NEED there help.. and I dont even want ALOT it just would be really helpful... and I dont talk to my dad so its just my mom and his parents.. up until now besides my dress every penny has been our own.
FeliciaDA
Posted:
Member since
Re: Anyone else feel awkward
I feel extremely weird about asking for money, and haven't done so... I've been on my own for a long time, and then living with FH .. and I'm just used to making my own decisions.
That said, shortly after we set the date my FMIL stated that she would be paying for the photog/video and flowers, because that's what she did for her other two sons weddings (FH's brothers). Was I shocked! I NEVER expected this and was extremely grateful for the help. However, this also means I am at her mercy to a point, on what to choose, etc. Luckily I got a great deal on video/photo and look to finalize the flowers in a short time.
MY parents, on the other hand, haven't been quite as giving. Not that I expected them to. My Dad has asked a few times 'how are we doing on money' and I say 'we're OK ..' but there is no way I feel comfortable asking for anything outright, nor would I.
At the same time, my mom has alluded to the fact that she didn't want to get in the way of what I wanted by paying for things, and that 'even though we aren't contributing to your plans right now, we plan to give you a nice wedding gift.'
So I cannot complain. ANY $$ help I've gotten thus far has been appreciated... and actually I much rather just take control of my own day and not have the 'agita' of everyone's 2 cents.
MegLehner
Posted:
Member since
Re: Anyone else feel awkward
I dont feel that wierd asking my own mom for money, but I would feel wierd asking FILs for it. My FFIL sent us money 3 weeks ago (out of the blue) and FH doesnt want to keep it - he hasnt cashed the check. I know FFIL sent it b/c FH got laid off and had to take a job that pays much less, but FH just doesnt like to take money from anyone. I told him we should keep it cause we might need it & it is better than asking for it when we do.
tourist
Posted:
Member since
Re: Anyone else feel awkward
we planned to pay ourselves, but both parents offered moeny. We said no thanks, but my mom wouldn't take no for an answer, sonow i feel bad that we didn't take anythign from his parents. I think his mom was slightly insulted, and hisdad said let me know if you change your mind. if they knew my parents were payign for a chunk, they might be more insultder. I guess I could have worse problems. . . but I don't know if we should tell them we changed out minds.
Not asking anyone for money, can't put them in that position. We are on our own!
julz33
Posted:
Member since
Re: Anyone else feel awkward
Posted by lilqtny
Not asking anyone for money, can't put them in that position. We are on our own!
Us too! My mom bought me the dress but that it is!
smilealways
Posted:
Member since
Re: Anyone else feel awkward
I do! I know my parents will give us $5,000 (that's what they gave to my sister), but my dad has been in the hospital and at home on an IV (very expensive) following complications from an elective surgery, so I know money is tight for them. It makes it very tough to bring anything up. Luckily, we still have time, but being a student, it's hard to scrounge up the money to make deposits on vendors. I also feel uncomfortable asking his parents for help. I'm just a California girl and not accustomed to such expensive, elaborate weddings!
