Recently, I've been feeling kinda guilty about making decisions or voicing my opinions about what I'd like for the wedding. I keep wondering if what I want is the same as what FH wants, especially since I find that most of what we're doing are ideas that I've come up with and he just agrees with me. I'm scared of coming across as a bridezilla or for making a decision that he (or anyone else, for that matter) might not honestly be ok with.
Anyone else ever feel this way or am I just overthinking things?
hsacks23r
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Re: anyone else feel like this?
well me and fh got into a litte tiff some what inregards to what you have mentioned above... I think they dont care as much about the detals even to the some what midd things like favors as long as we are happy with it, that makes them happy...did i just make any sense???
Mayflower
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Re: anyone else feel like this?
Yes, Heather, you're making complete sense! I think what's bothering me is that I'm constantly wondering if what we've decided is something HE really is happy with, or if it's something he's just ok with because it makes ME happy...
MissingTheBGene
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Re: anyone else feel like this?
I always make a point to ask FH's opinion, and his opinion is really what only matters to me. I take into consideration certain aspects of tradition and so on, if my family or his family wants something special, but I'm not asking for their opinions on something like our favors, just me and him.
At times I feel like it's always what I want, but we have compromised a lot as well. There are certain parts of the planning that he really does not care about, so he is okay with whatever I decide, but the major things, we really discuss together and make a decision based off what we both want or if one or the other is willing to give in!
prncssrachel
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Re: anyone else feel like this?
Honestly, I'd be grateful that he is in such agreement with you! I know girls whose FH's argue with them on the tiny details. Imagine having to deal with that! When I was getting married, I did, however, feel the same....AT FIRST. Then I asked him if he really agreed with me or was I being pushy, and he said he really did agree and that he would absolutely speak up if he didn't like something. However, he also pointed out that he IS a man, and isn't going to have an opinion on colors or flowers and what not. I saw his point and continued on my merry way
beautyq115
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Re: anyone else feel like this?
I always ask my FI opinion....most things he doesn't care about though like slipper baskets and menus
hsacks23r
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Re: anyone else feel like this?
Posted by Mayflower
Yes, Heather, you're making complete sense! I think what's bothering me is that I'm constantly wondering if what we've decided is something HE really is happy with, or if it's something he's just ok with because it makes ME happy...
So tell him that, tell him how you feel and see what he says
SweetCin704
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Re: anyone else feel like this?
Yea I'd be upfront w/ him & say if there's anything you aren't in agreement with, just let me know. Personally I think if it was anything he truly cared about & didn't like, he'd say something. I'm sure you are no where near being a bridezilla....
sarahradio5
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Re: anyone else feel like this?
Unfortunately, my FH really doesn't want anything to do with the wedding PLANNING. He's not really into planning this stuff. I feel bad when I see guys at Bridal Expos, but mine just doesn't want to go to that stuff. I ask his opinion on certain things, but really he leaves it up to me. He just keeps saying that I can choose 'whatever makes [me] happy'. It's good, I guess, because there's no arguing over differing opinions. But it's bad because I kind of feel alone in the process. The only thing he wanted was a limo bus, which I did NOT want, so we're getting a Hummer. He did get to pick the honeymoon... he wanted to go to Disney World, which sounded good to me!
69
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Re: anyone else feel like this?
let him know how you feel.. whatever he give you, you go with.... he'll tell you if it bothers him..
Mayflower
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Re: anyone else feel like this?
Thanks girls! FH and I have spoken about it and he says everything is ok and he'd let me know if he was ever NOT ok with anything, but that doesn't stop me from worrying if I should step it down a notch at any point.
I was just curious if anyone else ever worried about making it too much about them, especially when I find myself saying 'I' a lot when it should really be a 'we'
October Bliss
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Re: anyone else feel like this?
Posted by Mayflower
Thanks girls! FH and I have spoken about it and he says everything is ok and he'd let me know if he was ever NOT ok with anything, but that doesn't stop me from worrying if I should step it down a notch at any point.
I was just curious if anyone else ever worried about making it too much about them, especially when I find myself saying 'I' a lot when it should really be a 'we'
I do the 'I' thing instead of the 'we' thing all the time - especially on LIW. But then again, it is all about me - not him. Seriously, though, I do know where you're coming from. I include FH as much as I can, (he came with me to almost all vendors) but whenever I disagree with him he shoots back with 'why did you ask my opinion if you're not going to listen to me?' Umm, hello, we are supposed to be discussing things, and reaching conclusions together, not either one of us dictating. Whenever I feel like I'm overstepping, I just remind myself of what he said, and go on my merry way. Besides, no matter what decisions he has helped make, he keeps telling everyone I planned the entire thing.
