Anyone else have a DAD-ZILLA? need hugs..long vent

Seriously--i'm gonna kill my dad. he is driving me up the farking wall!!!!! ever since we began planning our wedding many, many months ago--he ALWAYS has something to say. we announced we'd be planning a wedding...his response 'weddings are a waste of $$, your mother and i got married for $25 and we're still together 25 years later'

fine...that's his opinion...he's not paying for it, we are. but considering how anti-wedding he is, he has something to say about EVERYTHING in our wedding. from the reception locale to how we shopped around for vendors, the guest list to our HM choices. when i went to order my dress about 2 months ago--he says 'you have EIGHT months, aren't you a bit early to be ordering a dress?' (um...you jackazz, it can take like 4-6 months for the gown to come in?)

my MOH/sister told me that now he's giving HER shite about the bridal shower location. and is actually trying to DEMAND that, the place she thinks is perfect (and i trust her judgement completely), should be changed to some place in nassau county, a little closer to the city...for some family members who live in the bronx! um...95% of the guest list LIVES IN SUFFOLK! the only ppl who live in the bronx are 3 cousins and 1 aunt who i CAN NOT STAND!!!!! (they are from my mom's side and i would never invite them if it wasn't for her biitching about it being the 'right thing' to do) to be totally honest, i don't even think they'd attend! (even if it WAS closer to the city) they would demand someone pick them up or something.

i mean seriously, is it the right thing when all my life whenever i've seen these people (and it's not been that much) all they do is tell me how fat & chubby i am. (um...my aunt is like 350 lbs or something and lives off of welfare) or how her stupid daughters would tell me that i would never find a man if i didn't lose weight (note to my twin cousins: you are both nearly 40 and neither one of you has a man, and you live together cause you have a freaky co-dependent relationship, and will probably die bitter spinsters)

so now my sis is dealing with our Dadzilla, and wants my opinion on the situation...and it suucks cause i know that if she doesn't change it, he's gonna raise hell...and if she does change it, she is gonna feel like she bowed down to my dad's pressure and he'll biitch about something else anyway. our dad is VERY abrasive and thinks HIS way is the best no matter what. i know she didn't want to bring me in on this--but she wasn't sure what to do, cause he's been bullying her about the whole thing. it makes me feel terrible for having a bridal shower at all.

why does he have to act like just a dumbazz? i mean...i don't get it. for someone who HATES weddings--he sure thinks he knows EVERYTHING about them

okay--vent over...i am breathing normal again.

wow! that's the first i heard of a dadzilla! and a real giant one too! :)

Sorry to hear you have to deal with that, how awful!
I say tell him to let you plan the wedding! Leave you alone! If you need his opinion you'll ask (like NEVER!). :)

Seriously though, the general advice regarding wedding planning I received from a friend is:

Do NOT ask ppl's opinion about your wedding OR be around people who's gonna have opinions about anything related to your wedding! Otherwise if you don't take their advice they are gonna ***** and moan about how you disrespect them. yadiya!

To deal with your dad, get your mom or someone else who is his peer to tell him to leave you alone! :)

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Posted by eden

wow! that's the first i heard of a dadzilla! and a real giant one too! :)

Sorry to hear you have to deal with that, how awful!
I say tell him to let you plan the wedding! Leave you alone! If you need his opinion you'll ask (like NEVER!). :)

Seriously though, the general advice regarding wedding planning I received from a friend is:

Do NOT ask ppl's opinion about your wedding OR be around people who's gonna have opinions about anything related to your wedding! Otherwise if you don't take their advice they are gonna ***** and moan about how you disrespect them. yadiya!

To deal with your dad, get your mom or someone else who is his peer to tell him to leave you alone! :)

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ahh..if only it were that simple. my mom is my mom and i love her, but she has NO back bone with my dad. my pops is a bit old school peruvian, with a little mix of machismo , and therefore my mom just smiles and nods when he goes off on crap. i DO NOT. what sux is that i work in the family business--8 hrs. a day, 5 days a week just him and me in our office...and i live with my parents to save $$ for the wedding. so when i leave work, i have to deal with him at home too! and i never ask him for advice, he just puts his 2 cents in EVERYTHING.

seriously, he is more of a bridezilla than anyone i know!!

I'm sorry... but when was the last time dads were invited to showers?

I say your sister should plan it all and just keep saying 'it's a surprise'. Her excuse can be, 'I'm not telling anyone anything because I don't want ANYONE ruining the surprise.'

Maybe she can pick a place in the middle just to compromise a BIT so it doesn't cause an ALL-OUT family war, but don't totally change all the plans for family members you don't even like. The only interest your sister should have in mind is YOURS. No more going to your dad if this is how he's going to be. His being involved in the wedding is one thing... he's the dad. But, if he's gonna be like that, there's no need for him to be involved in your shower. That's a girl thang!

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Posted by sarahradio5

I'm sorry... but when was the last time dads were invited to showers?

I say your sister should plan it all and just keep saying 'it's a surprise'. Her excuse can be, 'I'm not telling anyone anything because I don't want ANYONE ruining the surprise.'

Maybe she can pick a place in the middle just to compromise a BIT so it doesn't cause an ALL-OUT family war, but don't totally change all the plans for family members you don't even like. The only interest your sister should have in mind is YOURS. No more going to your dad if this is how he's going to be. His being involved in the wedding is one thing... he's the dad. But, if he's gonna be like that, there's no need for him to be involved in your shower. That's a girl thang!

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i totally agree!!! so sorry this is happening-- a dadzilla, wow! that's a first for me... i can't believe it, i hope it works out for you!!

I don't know what to say - I am so sorry that both you and your sister have to deal with this and that your dad is making the planning more annoying than happy!

I hope everything turns out just the way you want it and you have both a beautiful bridal shower and wedding!