In know that I will take his last name and keep my last name for professional purposes. I know, in theory, that I want us to be Mr. and Mrs. G. I know I want to have the last name as our children. BUT, I really get sad thinking that i will have a different name in two months. People keep saying soon you will be Mrs. ___ and even last night at the meeting with the band he said, should I introduce you as Mr. and Mrs. ____ and I just react so weird to it. I don't have the most fabulous last name, but it is mine. I never thought I would have such strong feelings about this, but I am really sad that my name will change. It is me... i hate that I will be someone else. Anyone else going through something similar?
neener1211
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
Yes, I love my last name, and my FH would actually change his name to mine he says...but I think his family would be offended.
CLMon7906
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
I think this is normal for many many people. If you really feel this strongly, maybe you should keep your name and socially/casually use his?
I have a friend who does this...she NEVER legally changed it...so some people automatically call her Mrs. Hislastname...she doesn't correct it, but she doesn't use it.
stephanielyse
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butterflybabe
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
I am too. I didn't want to change my name officially, but FH was really offended, so we compromised. I'm going to keep my name at work (professionally) and change it legally. We even thought of doing a combo name, but we didn't. I really like my last name and I don't want to lose myself either.
Smiles111
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
I can relate to what you're saying. I love my last name! Thinking of doing a combo name or something to ease my way into it before the kiddies come.
But I will be intro'd as Mr and Mrs his-last-name at the reception because I like that 'tradition'
Smiles111
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
Also, for me, my guy is a Jr., so it feels weird to me that I'll be Mrs. Terrence B... and his mom was also Mrs. Terrence B from the dad
LisaJill
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
Well i work with two women that never changed their names. I look at them and say, how could you not want to be a family together and be part of him. I think part of changing your name means that you become one unit together, Mr. and Mrs. I just get sad that I will have a new name. I know it is what I should do. Just sad. I haven't ever once written out my name with his last name. Is that weird? Never. Ugh. Oh well. Just nice to chat among Brides who understand.
mskittynj
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
From what I understand the whole name change thing comes from a time when Man showed ownership to the woman. Thats how people knew you belong to someone. We have evolved beyond that in our time so you should NOT feel guilty that you want ot keep your last name! If you want to keep it go ahead and have no guilty feelings over it! XOXOXO Kitty
mskittynj
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
ALSO....in other countries women do not change their name when they get married and the children get BOTH parents name.... XOXOXO Kitty
ali120206
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
It's funny, I was so excited to get rid of his my last name because people seem to kill it (and it's not that tough) and I've had to give out his last name before and the response is huh? They don't even try!!!
I'm excited to take his last name but, I'm not excited to go through the name changing process. I told him this and he looked at me. I just moved and went through the address changing process, and since it was different states I had to do the whole DMV process, so I'm not looking forward to that again!!!
DanaRenee
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
I am sure its normal to be aprehensive about it and I see everyone's point, but it is just a name. Its not like your changing your whole identity and becoming someone else!! And it doesn't make you lose yourself either!!
I think its a nice thing to do, whether it be the girl or guy who gives up the name. Your becoming a couple, and a family, a unit if you will!
klingklang77
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
it is normal. i am not changing my name, and FH is ok with that, but i am not sure about his family. i guess i will go with his name for social reasons, but i am not changing it.
the main reason i am not changing it, is b/c of the added paperwork. i am moving out of the country and changing the name is just more confusing.
LisaJill
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
Posted by LisaJill
Well i work with two women that never changed their names. I look at them and say, how could you not want to be a family together and be part of him. I think part of changing your name means that you become one unit together, Mr. and Mrs. I just get sad that I will have a new name. I know it is what I should do. Just sad. I haven't ever once written out my name with his last name. Is that weird? Never. Ugh. Oh well. Just nice to chat among Brides who understand.
Apparently my post was misunderstood. I DID NOT mean that not taking your husband's name means that you are not part of a family unit. What I meant was, five years ago (when I was immature) I thought it was strange not to take your FH's name, I thought my sister was weird when she insisted on keeping her name, but now I totally understand why and I understand the attachment you feel to your own identity. Just to clarify my earlier post.
PrincessRose
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
Hi Lisa, I went through the same thing. As much as I wanted to be Mrs. G I had a hard time giving up being Ms. C. I spoke to another friend of mine about it, and she told me that she had chosen to keep her maiden name as a second middle name. I loved the idea. This way, I feel like I've added to my identity, not lost a part of it. I honor my parents' line *and* my new family this way.
klingklang77
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
Posted by PrincessRose
Hi Lisa, I went through the same thing. As much as I wanted to be Mrs. G I had a hard time giving up being Ms. C. I spoke to another friend of mine about it, and she told me that she had chosen to keep her maiden name as a second middle name. I loved the idea. This way, I feel like I've added to my identity, not lost a part of it. I honor my parents' line *and* my new family this way.
i am thinking of doing this BUT adding his name as a second middle name. but i keep reading that NYS doesnt allow for 2 last names and that you have to hypenate it. i dont want to hyphen, and i still want my name as my last, and then adding his name in as another middle name.
Mandyin2007
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
I am probably the only child in my family who is going to have kids (Brother and sister don't want any) so I get a little upset knowing that no one will pass on my last name.
americananddutch
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
I was having problems with it but FH said since he has no ties to his last names and I have such strong ties to mine that he is going to take my last name and adopt my son so we will all have the same last name. :)
LisaJill
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
Posted by americananddutch
I was having problems with it but FH said since he has no ties to his last names and I have such strong ties to mine that he is going to take my last name and adopt my son so we will all have the same last name. :)
THAT IS AMAZING. THAT IS SOOO SWEET. YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOO LUCKY
curliegirl
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Re: Anyone else having name changing issues?
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by PrincessRose
Hi Lisa, I went through the same thing. As much as I wanted to be Mrs. G I had a hard time giving up being Ms. C. I spoke to another friend of mine about it, and she told me that she had chosen to keep her maiden name as a second middle name. I loved the idea. This way, I feel like I've added to my identity, not lost a part of it. I honor my parents' line *and* my new family this way.
i am thinking of doing this BUT adding his name as a second middle name. but i keep reading that NYS doesnt allow for 2 last names and that you have to hypenate it. i dont want to hyphen, and i still want my name as my last, and then adding his name in as another middle name.
Right, you cannot have a second middle name or last name without a hyphen. I am not happy about my new last name, so I made myself Gina Marie Maiden Married, BUT only at SS, DMV won't allow it.
