Anyone else's FH/DH sometimes get a little too drunk and make fools out of you?

I wanted to KILL DH last night. About 3-4 times a year he gets so drunk that he's really mean to me in front of anyone who's around. I don't take that kind crap, but whenever I show him how mad I get he just gets worse.

Last night he mortified me in front of another couple and well, pretty much most of Penn Station. I completely ignored him and left him a note this morning telling him how pissed I was.

He calls me and says he didn't do anything, and of course his friend thought I was mad at him! Now DH is asking for examples of what he did to make me so mad!!! Are you kidding me?!?!?!!? My TELLING you that I'm mad at you isn't enough, you need specific details!?!?!?!? Of course I can't remember exactly what he did specifically, but do I have to? So now he uses his standard answer, your point is moot. OOOOOOOOH!!!! I just slammed the phone down on him and told him to F off!!!

How can I make him understand what a jerk he acts like when he gets this drunk BTW he almost beat the crap out of some punk on the train who wouldn't move over so we could get on!

Sorry to vent, I just need to make him understand.....

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Posted by carlsbride

Sorry that happened. It sounds like you guys need to have a serious discussion. Even if it is 3-4 times a year, there is NO excuse for him to get so drunk that he disrespects you. He needs to cut himself off before he gets that way - period. He needs to respect your wishes, even if he doesn't remember behaving badly-he should believe and listen to you, you are his wife. Sorry and good luck

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I agree, you really need to try and sit down with him and have a discussion about this, he shoudl respect your feelings, also he might find himself in some trouble one day, what if that guy he beat up wasn't drunk and beat the crap out of him, b/c he wasn't really able to fight because he was so wasted, or worse the guy had a weapon I hope it works out.

You know what? 3 or 4 times a year doesn't sound like a lot right? But it is way too many times to get drunk to the point of hurting and embarrassing you, himself, or anyone else.

Saying 'your point is moot' because you cannot give him specific details is the same as saying 'I'm not responsible for my behavior.'

You will not make him understand how this affects you by exploding and/or giving him the silent treatment. You need to wait until you calm down and ask him to agree to a designated time and place that you will discuss, lovingling and rationally, how it makes you FEEL, in specific details if he wants, when he gets drunk to this point. Sorry this happened, but nip it in the bud right now or it's not going to get better.

Sorry DH embarrased you. I have to say, even though I don't drink too often, I sooo love my DH when he is drunk, he is so much fun. So relaxed, giddy, and sweet!!! He not trashed too often, but when he is, I know its gonna be a fun night!!

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Posted by Boop2704

Sorry DH embarrased you. I have to say, even though I don't drink too often, I sooo love my DH when he is drunk, he is so much fun. So relaxed, giddy, and sweet!!! He not trashed too often, but when he is, I know its gonna be a fun night!!

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That's another thing, he is usually so fun when we get a little tipsy, but sometimes, he just turns the other way and gets nasty. I really don't get it.

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Posted by curliegirl

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Posted by Boop2704

Sorry DH embarrased you. I have to say, even though I don't drink too often, I sooo love my DH when he is drunk, he is so much fun. So relaxed, giddy, and sweet!!! He not trashed too often, but when he is, I know its gonna be a fun night!!

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That's another thing, he is usually so fun when we get a little tipsy, but sometimes, he just turns the other way and gets nasty. I really don't get it.

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You really need to talk about it because you do not want it to escalate to another level. Good luck.

I think you totally have a right to be upset, but I don't think the fact he gets that drunk occasionally is the big problem some people are suggesting. Do I think it's acceptable for him to disrespect you, of course not. Do I think you should talk to him about it calmly, yes. Maybe you can kind of be in charge of when enough is enough. Let him get to that fun, tipsy point and then quietly tell him you think it's time for him to slow down.
DH and I are both big drinkers so I can understand your dilemma. DH has a high threshhold, but when he crosses that point he just gets sloppy. So when I see that he's had a lot of mixed drinks, I'll tell him to switch to beer, and that usually solves the problem. And there are also certain drinks that make him worse than others. He loves Red Bull and vodka, but he knows he is only allowed 2 or he gets too riled up.

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Posted by nferrandi

I think you totally have a right to be upset, but I don't think the fact he gets that drunk occasionally is the big problem some people are suggesting. Do I think it's acceptable for him to disrespect you, of course not. Do I think you should talk to him about it calmly, yes. Maybe you can kind of be in charge of when enough is enough. Let him get to that fun, tipsy point and then quietly tell him you think it's time for him to slow down.
DH and I are both big drinkers so I can understand your dilemma. DH has a high threshhold, but when he crosses that point he just gets sloppy. So when I see that he's had a lot of mixed drinks, I'll tell him to switch to beer, and that usually solves the problem. And there are also certain drinks that make him worse than others. He loves Red Bull and vodka, but he knows he is only allowed 2 or he gets too riled up.

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I agree completely. It's not a huge deal if he likes to drink and you knew this before hand. Alcohol impairs us and we shouldn't be judged while drunk. This (getting so drunk that he was sloppy - not aggressive but falling down & not responsive to me which is just as bad ) was a huge problem with my DH before we got married. I had a serious talk with him about how I was worried for his health (hello alcohol poisoning) and how I wanted him for the long haul...he needed to slow down. Which meant no shots. He can drink anything...just has to stay away from the Johnny Black shots...thank God he listened and now we're able to go out and have a good time and he'll know when to stop...and when to pass on the shots. Also, have him space out his drinking and add some water and food in there...that way it's not so harmful.

Nope hes a bunch of laughs, but I have our first new years together I got so drunk that I was telling my DH who at the time was just a boyfriend how my brother and uncle( we are 4 yrs apart) can kick his ***- ????? thank fully it was just his best friend and my best friend hanging out- I didnt even remember the next day how bad is that!