anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

being spent by your BP, parents and such?

I don't want anyone going broke to celebrate my wedding.

AND, I am tired or hearing about how much my bridal party has to do for me. I don't expect anything from anyone other than to get fitted and show up on time!

I am the bend over backwards bride offering to pay for something for evereyone to help them out!

ETSC

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Posted by TJ22908

I feel terrible all the time!! But my BM keep telling me its ok but I still feel bad! But it really was part of there agreement when they agreed to be in the wedding!!

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My sister keeps telling about about what other brides did FOR HER when she was in HER wedding.

I keep telling her she doesn't have to spend a cent outdie of her dress, hair and make up but she keeps pushing and pushing..............and telling me all about it

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Posted by loislane

Don't feel guilty, as someone that was in a bridal party, I spent $$ with out caring because it was for someone I love. I am sure if you were in their shoes you would do what ever it took in a heart beat.

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I asked my cousins to be in my BP to gaurantee their trip to NY. Sneaky, but it worked. So far they haven't contributed to what my sister has planned or my best friend, so I hear about THAT too.........

i did...i constantly thought about the amount that was being spent, and really negotiated some great prices due to my guilty conscience.

in hindsight ,the day was phenominal, but WOW, was that some budget

i do feel bad, thats why i made sure to go to RK bridal to get their dresses since they sell dresses for less and got it for $80 off the original price. I paid for the suite for bachelorette party bc i dont want them to pay that much money. 2 of my cousins in the bp are in their early 20's, and paying college on their own and paying bills so i offered to help if they need it, and to let me know if for the dresses they needed help

but its funny bc for my friends wedding which ill be a BM, i dont mind it. Ill go with whatever dress she picks. Gonna chip in for hotel for her bachelorette. I also asked MOH about her bridal shower and to let me know if she wants me to chip in for it.

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Posted by Cheryl28

i feel bad all the time. I have been in so many so I know much it costs. I was in all of theirs and they realize how much it costs. if they can't afford it they either need to tell you or say no when asked. If you can afford it then there is no harm in helping out, I wish i could. This might sound harsh but it is not meant to be like that. But in the end weddings cost everyone a lot of money.

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You are so right! I let everyone know in advance what to expect as far as dresses, shoes,make up, hair, hotel etc etc etc.......They have all known since April of Last year thanks for your support!

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Posted by Espo22

i do feel bad, thats why i made sure to go to RK bridal to get their dresses since they sell dresses for less and got it for $80 off the original price. I paid for the suite for bachelorette party bc i dont want them to pay that much money. 2 of my cousins in the bp are in their early 20's, and paying college on their own and paying bills so i offered to help if they need it, and to let me know if for the dresses they needed help

but its funny bc for my friends wedding which ill be a BM, i dont mind it. Ill go with whatever dress she picks. Gonna chip in for hotel for her bachelorette. I also asked MOH about her bridal shower and to let me know if she wants me to chip in for it.

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You're mindset is a lot like mine. I never complain about a cost of a wedding if I am involved, I know it's an enormous expense. I have had to turn down the honor to be in BP in the past because I wasn't financially capable of contributing.

I am not going to go broke helping people out or paying for hair to get done, or even buying dresses. BUT, for once I would like to know tjat everything is going to be handtled and not have to be bothered.

That would be the best wedding present ever!

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Posted by chrispar

I do feel bad but I feel like I more then made it up to them with their gifts because I felt guilty.

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Here is my dilemma..........if I am doing so much on their behalf should I have to give them a gift? I am going so far as to pay 1/3 of hotel cost for some of my BP, buying dresses, RB tux, hair and make-up and I have a fabulous OOT bag planned.

Why should I try to top that with a crappy gift?

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Posted by MrsK2008

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Posted by chrispar

I do feel bad but I feel like I more then made it up to them with their gifts because I felt guilty.

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Here is my dilemma..........if I am doing so much on their behalf should I have to give them a gift? I am going so far as to pay 1/3 of hotel cost for some of my BP, buying dresses, RB tux, hair and make-up and I have a fabulous OOT bag planned.

Why should I try to top that with a crappy gift?

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No. I don't think so. I ain't doing it either. And I don't think they are expecting it.

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Posted by MrsK2008

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Posted by chrispar

I do feel bad but I feel like I more then made it up to them with their gifts because I felt guilty.

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Here is my dilemma..........if I am doing so much on their behalf should I have to give them a gift? I am going so far as to pay 1/3 of hotel cost for some of my BP, buying dresses, RB tux, hair and make-up and I have a fabulous OOT bag planned.

Why should I try to top that with a crappy gift?

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If you are paying for all of that then that is there gift and that is very generous of you!

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Posted by kimandvin

Yes as well as my entire salary for this year not being saved.. I think I could have put it into a house but I didn't want to look back and say ' I wish I did it'

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Yeah. I guess that's a good way to look at it.

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Posted by MrsG

My bridal party, no, they're useless but I do feel bad about all of the cash our parents are laying out. And all the money we spent instead of buying a house or getting a second masters, yeah, I feel bad about that too.

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I always thaought it would be more prudent to buy a home than have a reception. Then I met my FH who always wanted a HUGE wedding.

In the end, Mom coughed up the dough she was going to give us for a Tahiti vacation :: tear :: and paide for the entire reception.

I don't feel bad about Mom spending the dough, I wish I could have had the Tahiti HM.

lol

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Posted by kimandvin

Yes as well as my entire salary for this year not being saved.. I think I could have put it into a house but I didn't want to look back and say ' I wish I did it'

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Me either, which is why I am going above and beyond to make this day as special and elegant as possible. That way I can say it was 'oh so worth it'