anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

Original post by MrsK2008

Jan 30, 2008 05:45 PM

being spent by your BP, parents and such?

I don't want anyone going broke to celebrate my wedding.

AND, I am tired or hearing about how much my bridal party has to do for me. I don't expect anything from anyone other than to get fitted and show up on time!

I am the bend over backwards bride offering to pay for something for evereyone to help them out!

ETSC

SparkyandAng Posted: Jan 31, 2008 01:03 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

Posted by MrsK2008

Posted by chrispar

I do feel bad but I feel like I more then made it up to them with their gifts because I felt guilty.

Here is my dilemma..........if I am doing so much on their behalf should I have to give them a gift? I am going so far as to pay 1/3 of hotel cost for some of my BP, buying dresses, RB tux, hair and make-up and I have a fabulous OOT bag planned.

Why should I try to top that with a crappy gift?

You shouldn't! I think you are being very generous.

MrsK2008 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 01:06 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

Posted by SparkyandAng

Posted by MrsK2008

Posted by chrispar

I do feel bad but I feel like I more then made it up to them with their gifts because I felt guilty.

Here is my dilemma..........if I am doing so much on their behalf should I have to give them a gift? I am going so far as to pay 1/3 of hotel cost for some of my BP, buying dresses, RB tux, hair and make-up and I have a fabulous OOT bag planned.

Why should I try to top that with a crappy gift?

You shouldn't! I think you are being very generous.

with everyone of my family members flying in from the midwest I have severe guilt over all of the cost!!

AMGBride2008 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 01:20 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

No, I don't feel bad because these are things they WANT to do for me... I haven't asked them for anything... plus I know they're having fun....

I do feel bad for my MOH though because she's the MOH in a wedding 1 week after mine!

ETS: I sound so insensitive! I dont' want them to go broke for me... they're dresses will cost practically nothing because a family member owns the dress company and is doing us a favor... aside from that, like I said they're doing it because they want to and from what I hear, they're having a blast!

Mici n KC Posted: Jan 31, 2008 01:27 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

I am doing my best to keep costs at a minimal for my BP. I am searching for the least they'll have to spend on things. I have had one complaint but that was from FH's cousin because they're getting married the month after us. Meanwhile I'm in her BP and haven't said anything about costs and what I have to pay for my dress is more than what she'll be paying for mine. I have also been in a wedding where the bride felt we owed her the world and didn't care what things cost. Then I did complain!

Lten10 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 01:30 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

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MrsK2008 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 01:42 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

Posted by Lten10

My parents are paying for the wedding.

I do feel guilty about it, but they are happy to do it and in fact wanted us to have a fancy, formal wedding.

We would have been happy with a backyard BBQ, I swear!

But, we found out FH would be leaving from April-Oct for military service so we had to plan an 'indoor' wedding.

They are NOT cheap, not with 250 guests :(

I know you got that right!

FH and I had to do some serious cuts with guest list. My mom ponied up a certain amount and we wanted to keep everything in the reception within that limit, but we didn't we are paying an additional $3,792 in upgrades and have forfeited both of our vacations to pay for it.

I wonder if any of our guests know or care about the great lengths we go to to make them happy?

cherish83 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 01:44 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

I feel especially bad for the BP which is why I'm trying to get them something really nice as their gift. I figure between the cost of a dress, shoes, hair and makeup if they want it, Bridal shower, bachelorette party, gifts, and hotel the night of if they want. That is serious Dough

MayWeddingGrl Posted: Jan 31, 2008 04:33 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

Being the last one of my friends to get married, I don't feel guilty because I've spent a lot more being a BM at their weddings.

Don't feel like you should pay for them. You asked them to be apart of your day because they are special to you. they accepted because they feel that way about you too, so they should be able to handle the money aspect. If you really feel guilty, buy them a more expensive/nicer than you gift!

shcole08 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 04:37 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

Totally, especially because I went over budget

Soon2beAlberti Posted: Jan 31, 2008 04:39 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

I don't only because I know I price shopped and found an amazing deal on the BM dresses. I'm paying for my own wedding and whatever help we get is what they offer. I don't even know whats going on with the bridal shower...it'll probrably end up being in my own home bc i know my sis and mom don't have it like that to pay for a hall or restaurant.

lilangel369 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 05:57 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

i'm actually paying for everything except for maybe shoes ....

MrsK2008 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 06:00 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

Posted by lilangel369

i'm actually paying for everything except for maybe shoes ....

the we are in the same boat

S.S. Sucker

MrsK2008 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 06:00 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

Posted by shcole08

Totally, especially because I went over budget

a budget is like a kleenex, totally disposable!

the future mrs m Posted: Jan 31, 2008 07:30 PM

Re: anyone ever feel guilty about the amount of $$ ....

i dont feel bad b/c i have always gone above & beyond for everyone elses wedding. now it's my time. but since i am obsessed w/ planning my friends havent had to do anything ridiculous b/c my mom is really stepping up.