anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

Kara and Todd Posted: Sep 13, 2006 03:38 PM

anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

Sorry for the million questions today!

One idea FH and I had was getting married out east on the north fork in wine country, as we're both big wine enthusiasts.

The parish where I grew up (and my parents still live) is in Nassau County - W. Hempstead. I think guests would not really want to drive that far. I just figure no one would come to the church.

We were considering finding a church out east to have the wedding (if we go this route - still in the early planning stages). Does anyone know if Catholic churches will allow you to get married in a church you don't have ties to?

NY031978 Posted: Sep 13, 2006 03:41 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

we are doing that......but its a church my family belongs too.....so i think thats why they allowing it!

my church in port jeff...is called infant jesus...i think they will allow it there. i know yrs ago they let my aunt get married there and she didnt belong to our parish!

lucite Posted: Sep 13, 2006 03:42 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

Some churches will do anything for a fee. It's worth asking.

HelenZ Posted: Sep 13, 2006 03:49 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

I'm not catholic but FH is, but I don't like his church! So, I asked another catholic church what he'd have to do if we wanted to get married there instead of the parish he belongs to, and they told me that he just needs to get a letter from his parish. I don't see this as a big deal, but maybe other churches would! Good luck!

tracy2246 Posted: Sep 13, 2006 03:54 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

most churches require a letter of release from both your prishes along with copies of your sacramental papers.

ewickens Posted: Sep 13, 2006 03:59 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

I did this. My Church is upstate and I didn't want to get married there, so FH and I found a Church down here we were comfortable with and that's the one we attend and are getting married at.

starr76 Posted: Sep 13, 2006 04:05 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

you girls are lucky

i had the hardest time getting my ceremony in a church that neither me or my fh belonged too

it was like pulling teeth - in the end we just gave up and are getting married at our parish

i guess it depends on the parish and the situation and unfortunately probably the donation.

donegal419 Posted: Sep 13, 2006 04:14 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

You will most likely NOT be able to get married in a parish that is nto your own... there are exceptions of course, to be closer to the reception site is probably nto one of them. the reasoning behind getting married in your OWN parish are varied.

1. you shoudl be getting married in the faith community you and your family are a part of. marriage is a sacrament and it should be celebrated with YOUR religious community.

2. parishes get hundreds of requests for marriages. it is only fair that parishoners get first dibs on dates and times... it's not fair to a parishoner to not get the date they wanted at their church because a non-parishoner or someone who has never contributed to the faith community took the date.

3. Churches want to make sure they couples are receiving the Sacrament for the right reason. going to a different church because it has prettier windows, a longer aisle, it's closer to my hall, i don't like the priest, etc. etc. are not the right reasons to get married elsewhere.
GOOD LUCK though.. it is possible in some siutations, but i wouldn't count on it.

patticakes Posted: Sep 13, 2006 04:21 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

For a LARGE sum, the church we picked near the reception agreed to have our ceremony. We have never been associated with them.

autumnwedding Posted: Sep 13, 2006 04:27 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

We're not getting married at our home parish and we had no problem at all. We're even bringing in our family priest. No paperwork no nothing. I guess it varies!

EGreene79 Posted: Sep 13, 2006 04:35 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

Just call a number of churches out there. When we were looking for a hall in NJ we encountered them all! Some refuse even with a letter from your parish, some just need the letter, others don't. One church I contacted refused to marry us even with a letter, but gave us the number of a nearby church that is more lenient!

Just call a few, and eventually you'll find a church that will accomodate you. We only contacted Roman Catholic, which are typically the most strict, and still even found a few that would accomodate us.

tiffandmatt Posted: Sep 13, 2006 04:36 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

Posted by donegal419

You will most likely NOT be able to get married in a parish that is nto your own... there are exceptions of course, to be closer to the reception site is probably nto one of them. the reasoning behind getting married in your OWN parish are varied.

1. you shoudl be getting married in the faith community you and your family are a part of. marriage is a sacrament and it should be celebrated with YOUR religious community.

2. parishes get hundreds of requests for marriages. it is only fair that parishoners get first dibs on dates and times... it's not fair to a parishoner to not get the date they wanted at their church because a non-parishoner or someone who has never contributed to the faith community took the date.

3. Churches want to make sure they couples are receiving the Sacrament for the right reason. going to a different church because it has prettier windows, a longer aisle, it's closer to my hall, i don't like the priest, etc. etc. are not the right reasons to get married elsewhere.
GOOD LUCK though.. it is possible in some siutations, but i wouldn't count on it.

Very good information!

Soon_2_B_Mrs_Miller Posted: Sep 13, 2006 05:01 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

I am getting married in a parish that is not my own. I absolutely loved the church so I called and made an appointment. The priest was really helpful and told me the reason that most churches do not allow you to get married in other parishes is because couples will book tons of churches until they decide which one they want. I am sure they won't mind you getting married in a different parish as long as you plan on raising your child in that faith.

LandsEnd06 Posted: Sep 13, 2006 05:24 PM

Re: anyone get married at a church that was not your parish?

I disagree with some of the postings. Churches are getting more and more strict with letting people get married without being registered there. Good luck. Make sure you do your research.