i am kind of freaking out about getting married and then having to worry about us and his mom... 2 sets of bills...i just dont know how we are going to manage....
michesq
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Re: Anyone have a FH who supports a parent?
I do not financially support my mom but have emotionally since my dad passed a few yrs ago. She always wants to do things with us, spend time with us, etc. We have successfully balanced that with wedding plans, work, etc
it will work out, just talk to FH about it. tell him your concerns
bkposh
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Re: Anyone have a FH who supports a parent?
unfortunaly he does support her. i talk to him about it and he just gets angry and keeps askign me what i want him to do about it. I mean i know we just cant leave her homeless but i want him to talk to her about what will happen. i was thinking we should look into buying a house with a seperate entrance basement apt.. but he said she wouldnt want to do that...i cant see making 2 NYC apartment rents, and bills living expenses......lol maybe we get lucky and win the lotto ..YAH RIGHT
michesq
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Re: Anyone have a FH who supports a parent?
lol i keep saying I hope we win too!
the house with separate entrance is a good idea- maybe continue to discuss with FH and your Future mom that option. also try and work out financial issues, if any, as soon as possible. i know they are difficult to talk about but necessary
PoppedInASnap
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Re: Anyone have a FH who supports a parent?
Thats a tricky situation, but it is your future...and honesly you have to think about your future. 2 appts is a little rediculous. Is she elderly? You guys have to think about the future when you also have kids to support ...
MaggieLuvsJoe
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Re: Anyone have a FH who supports a parent?
Posted by bkposh
i am kind of freaking out about getting married and then having to worry about us and his mom... 2 sets of bills...i just dont know how we are going to manage....
FH lives with his mom and has helped her financially but he also has 3 other siblings so once we are married the 4 of them will have to split the costs/expenses if she needs help paying her bills.....
does your FH have any siblings that he could share the expenses with? Does his mom work or have any type of income or does she solely depend on him? This is a tough situtation but if there are options I would definitely explore them before the wedding
FutureMrsLehmann
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Re: Anyone have a FH who supports a parent?
Posted by bkposh
i am kind of freaking out about getting married and then having to worry about us and his mom... 2 sets of bills...i just dont know how we are going to manage....
well you 2 have to come up with some kind of compromise or understand now before the wedding. this isn't an issue that will just go away or solve itself. i think you need to have a very serious talk with him (force him to) and possibly include his mom eventually into the conversation. this is the kind of problem that can cause a serious break in a relationship...it's best to deal with this now as best you can! HTH
Christine N Ralph
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Re: Anyone have a FH who supports a parent?
Thats really tough. I think the idea about getting a house with a separate entrance is really good. Why is she against this? I would make sure that this gets straightened out before you guys get married because its not going to get easier financially when you guys start to have kids...
bkposh
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Re: Anyone have a FH who supports a parent?
thanks for all your opinions...they are all valid ones. he does support his mom completly as she has no income. There are also no siblings to help. So we will def. have to sit down and figure something out prior to getting married. i just have a feeling its going to be difficult especially once we involve his mom... she is one stubborn woman.
MrsBtobe2009
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Re: Anyone have a FH who supports a parent?
My FH supports his parents and within the next few years, they will most likely be moving in with us. He is going to make them an addition on our house. It drives me nuts to think of this, but I can't say anything. They are his parents.
WinterGrl09
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Re: Anyone have a FH who supports a parent?
Well i grew up with my grandmother living with us. My parents never charged her rent. She just basically raised us and did a lot of chores like laundry, dishes and cooking. She'd buy us things we needed. I don't know what i would do if i had to start a marriage with the burden of in laws but at the same time i realize that we needed to take her in and take care of her. In return she took care of us.
