Anyone having/have a HUGE bridal party?

I began with 12 girls and 12 guys and from day one it was hell! The girls all were my friends from different points in my life: childhood, highschool, sorrority/college, and then family. They all seem to think they know what is best for me and what I want, but in reality only a handful do. Because of their differnt ideas they have been bitching and bickering (and calling me and making me cry all along). I lucked out when 1 girl dropped, but its not much better. I hate when people can say told ya so to me, but you definitly see people's true colors when you are planning a wedding.

But.. this is your wedding and you know your girls better than any of us, so when you imagine your wedding- if you see all 11 girls standing there next to you and supporting you then i say go for it!

I say wait to the 1 year mark.

I had 9 girls and 9 guys and for the most part they were girls I knew most of my life.

drama drama drama.

you don't realize it until it's too late and already happening. I wish I waited to pick my BP, and I wish a made a few different decisions. But that's how it worked out.

As of now, I am no longer speaking to one BM (who I've been friends with since I was about 15 or so) and another who I've been friends with for just about as long. You can't forsee these things happening.... esp when your BP is all 'really close' and 'lifelong' friends. But trust me, they do happen. So be VERY careful. Weddings can really bring out the worst in people... I know you are still early in the process so it's hard to see that now.... and it was for me as well.....but it's definitely true. Someone once said 'funerals bring people together, weddings tear them apart'... soooo true!!!

And even with 'not making them do anything for you'... they still will need to do things for you. They have to show up to try on dresses and then to order dresses. And I PROMISE it will be a total PITA to get 15 girls together to do these things.

Then there's picking dates for things like the bachlorette party and the shower that will work for everyone. That's going to be another one. And who is paying for it? The costs of those things add up so it's hard to expect just one person or your parents to pay for all that. Are they going to have to chip in?
Who is paying for their dresses, hair, makeup, etc? Because even if they don't have to pay for the shower or bachlorette they will have dresses, alterations, jewelry, hair, makeup. Some brides buy the dresses as a gift... but in your case... really think about buying 15 bridesmaids dresses. The price alone would be insane!!

These are ALL the different things that usually causes problems within the bridal party. Right now you can't fathom anything going awry with these things.... and I didn't either, because they were 'lifelong friends' or 'close friends' of mine, but trust me when I tell you, I had issues with every single aspect. The more girls in the mix, the more likely it will occur.

Then, and I think a lot of people tend to forget this aspect of it all... but the larger the bridal party, the more expensive. Gifts for them, the rehearsal dinner, transportation, bouquets, etc. It all adds up big time. My bridal party really was a HUGE expense for me. It tacks on thousands to your budget. Buying things times 15 really adds up... and then don't forget the guys, the kids, the parents, etc.

I'm not saying not to have this many girls, but be aware of the potential problems that could arise. And I am def saying to wait to the 1 year mark. there's no reason to pick any sooner. i think you need to really think about it and then pick 1 year in advance. And brace yourself...

there's a reason why so many brides who have passed the point of their wedding say to wait until a year before and to be VERY selective of who is chosen. These are things that happen to MOST brides so really take what we are saying to heart and think about it. I get the sense that you have already made up your mind so all of this might be pointless.... but really really think about it.

I was a BM in a friend of mine's wedding 2 years ago, along with 12 other girls. We have been friends since we were born, and she chose all friends from different times in her life. While we are very close, there are times that we've only seen each other once a year. I was excited to be asked, but with that many girls she had a lot of drama, one girl she stopped talking to just before the wedding, and it was a lot of money. Since there were so many of us I wasn't included in the planning of any activities, just asked for money and told dates that were sometimes really inconvenient (that was all the other BMs, not the bride's doing).
Two years later, I am glad I got to be a part of a special day for her, but I would have had more fun as a guest and friend that part of the bridal party. I think it will be easier for the BMs if there are less of them too.

I have a total of 7 BP(3 MOh and 4 BM) and 7 GMs, 5 junior BM, 1 flower girl, 1 ring bearer which is huge but 8 was very very selective. I have a lot of friends and there were about 5-6 other girls I could have put in my wedding but I said no way. The bigger the party the more personalities you have to deal with, the more days you have accommadiate to, the more you feel like you are bending backwards to them instead of vice versa. Out of the 7 girls, 1 is my sister, 1 FH's sister, and the remaining 5 are all my closest dearest friends who know me thick and thin and will always have my back.

I understand you prolly don't want to hurt any of ur friends feelings because I know how that feels (I have been excluded from BP duties a couple of times) but if they are really they are really your friends they will understand. The goal of the BP is to help you and make your life less dramactic not more. So take some time, think about it and then make ur final decision. Good luck

its ultimately your decision, but I would def wait like other posters have said until the 1 year mark. I had only 3 girls (2 BM & 1 MOH) & getting them to coordinate on anything was a nightmare. I regret asking my MOH b/c I no longer speak with her b/c of all the crap she pulled b4 and after the wedding.

I would seriously think about if you do have that many girls - think about how you are going to feel about each person if they dont show up for this or they cant make that. Be prepared to be disappointed so you dont let the drama take you over & take over your special day. Good Luck!

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Posted by FutureMcBride

I counted everyone and I think it would be 13 girls... haha 13 for Friday the 13th!!! That's when my wedding is! LOL

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we have 13 GM's... and i have 10 BM's... just make sure you think about every single one and make sure its who you want...

I have 5 girls, 5 guys,
1 MOH
1 BM
Possibly 2 ring bearers and no flower girl.
That's it
and I'm happy with it that way.

Limiting the drama- I've had enough in my life!

Now- for my bachelorette party- I want a few non wedding party people invited.

and I'm sure that should be fine!