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Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

ElegantBride Posted:

Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

How did you respond politely? TIA

kittythestray Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

I told them it was adult only and I couldn't make exceptions because then many other people would be upset and was very sorry they couldn't attend. (They said they couldn't get a babysitter)

N.Y.bride Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

not really. A few times my aunt pretended she didnt know after I had told her many times no children. She even was like, 'Oh but she could sing for you.'

I was like, 'um no thank you. I really just can not afford it and would like it to be an all adult affair.'
Meaghan729 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

FSIL thinks she's brining her twins, who will be 8 months old.

my other FSIl told me, so the one who is having ttwins doesnt know I know.

so Im just going to say if asked that only the kids in the BP are invited, that I cant afford (which is true) to invite everyone with kids, and its not fair just ot let you bring yours.
SeptBride70 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

Posted by kittythestray

I told them it was adult only and I couldn't make exceptions because then many other people would be upset and was very sorry they couldn't attend. (They said they couldn't get a babysitter)


i agree, this would be the best thing to say.

i just don't understand-- kids don't belong at a wedding reception. hmm, good luck-- i hope you get positive responses and everything works out!
ElegantBride Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

My cousin told me if the kids can't come, she would not come. Can you imagine the nerve of her...I would never ever insist on extra guests...ask but never give an ultimatum!!
Rebecca B Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

We had one repeatedly ask and we were firm with our decision which was no...I don't think they are coming...and it's just fine with me.

VadersBride2006 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?



i just don't understand-- kids don't belong at a wedding reception.


As a mother, I take offense to this statement... My wedding would be awful without my kids! Some people don't think of kids as a burden.
jeanla4c Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

Posted by kittythestray

I told them it was adult only and I couldn't make exceptions because then many other people would be upset and was very sorry they couldn't attend. (They said they couldn't get a babysitter)


Similar type of response and then I located babysitters for people, but in the end no one used them and just one half of the couple came.
SunBride07 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

Posted by VadersBride2006




As a mother, I take offense to this statement... My wedding would be awful without my kids! Some people don't think of kids as a burden.


Please understand that by not inviting kids we aren't saying that they are a burden - it comes down to the cost of having children at the reception. For me, if I invite one child I have to invite all 35 of them - way out of my buget.
N.Y.bride Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

Posted by ElegantBride

My cousin told me if the kids can't come, she would not come. Can you imagine the nerve of her...I would never ever insist on extra guests...ask but never give an ultimatum!!


Then I guess you two arent that important to her. Id tell her, Oh well thats too bad - youll be missed.

Theres NO way. Its ONE day, a few HOURS of their lives you are asking for! I think its so rude of people to insist.
CLMon7906 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

um yes, but not like you'd think......


FMIL's aunt (so she's like 65-70?) called and complained that their 2 sons weren't invited...they are 30+.............. ......................so we had to invite them....but we didn't invite any of her cousins, it wasn't just those 2.

And neither the aunt nor the sons have RSVPd.
SunBride07 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

Posted by CLMon7906

um yes, but not like you'd think......


FMIL's aunt (so she's like 65-70?) called and complained that their 2 sons weren't invited...they are 30+.............. ......................so we had to invite them....but we didn't invite any of her cousins, it wasn't just those 2.

And neither the aunt nor the sons have RSVPd.


Ridiculous
Mandyin2007 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

I know my FSIL had a problem with that. She didn't have to pay for them because they were very young, but they were the only kids there. She felt bad saying no.

VadersBride2006 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

Posted by melissa&carmine

Posted by VadersBride2006




As a mother, I take offense to this statement... My wedding would be awful without my kids! Some people don't think of kids as a burden.


Please understand that by not inviting kids we aren't saying that they are a burden - it comes down to the cost of having children at the reception. For me, if I invite one child I have to invite all 35 of them - way out of my buget.


That wasn't my point. The fact that some people think a reception is 'No place for chidren' is a different reason for not inviting than wanting to stay within budget.
seta Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

Posted by VadersBride2006

Posted by melissa&carmine

Posted by VadersBride2006




As a mother, I take offense to this statement... My wedding would be awful without my kids! Some people don't think of kids as a burden.



Please understand that by not inviting kids we aren't saying that they are a burden - it comes down to the cost of having children at the reception. For me, if I invite one child I have to invite all 35 of them - way out of my buget.


That wasn't my point. The fact that some people think a reception is 'No place for chidren' is a different reason for not inviting than wanting to stay within budget.



I have to be honest with you. I too do not feel that a wedding, especially an evening formal affair is a place for children. For one, it is most likely passed their bed time, and they are going to be cranky...and depending on their age , behavior, and parents, because all children/situations are different, they run around and think they are in a playground...

Please don't take this as desrespectful...we have a ton of children in our family...i only invited 4 from my side that are 12 and older...against my wishes, fh is giving his first cousins the option to bring theirs if they want, but no one else is invited with their children.....I am very unhappy, but have compromised, because it means a lot to him.

Speaking as an aunt, teacher and person with a ton of children in their family,...i just don't get why people would want to bring their kids....especially their little ones, I mean, don't they want to enjoy themselves?

In answering the posters question, it is your wedding and your right to tell them that it is an adult reception. Stick to your guns!! Good luck!
sarahradio5 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

it actually caused a HUGE family argument at the time of my brother's wedding in 2000... we STILL don't talk to my aunt or her children because my cousin took SUCH offense that he wouldn't let her bring her 3 and 1 year old to his ADULT RECEPTION!!! And he gave them 6 months notice to find a babysitter! 6 years of not speaking to relatives that live right across the street from us all over this apparently controversial issue!!! So, my mom hasn't spoken to her sister over all this crap... they kind of started talking recently, but my mom's afraid to make up now because my wedding is coming up and I don't want children at my wedding either! Yikes!

Danigrl28 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

One of my cousins called me after she got the invite only made out to Mr. & Mrs. She wanted to bring her 5 year old and 2 year old, and said that if they aren't invited then they can't come b/c she doesn't leav her kids with anyone. I herd her out but then explained to her that I wasn't having any kids except for a Jr BM ho was 11 and if I invited her kids I would have to invite everyone elses. We just couldn't afford it and that as much as I would love for them to be there if they can't then I would understand (and no they didn't attend).

MJDoc12 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

Posted by seta

I have to be honest with you. I too do not feel that a wedding, especially an evening formal affair is a place for children. For one, it is most likely passed their bed time, and they are going to be cranky...and depending on their age , behavior, and parents, because all children/situations are different, they run around and think they are in a playground...

Please don't take this as desrespectful...we have a ton of children in our family...i only invited 4 from my side that are 12 and older...against my wishes, fh is giving his first cousins the option to bring theirs if they want, but no one else is invited with their children.....I am very unhappy, but have compromised, because it means a lot to him.

Speaking as an aunt, teacher and person with a ton of children in their family,...i just don't get why people would want to bring their kids....especially their little ones, I mean, don't they want to enjoy themselves?

In answering the posters question, it is your wedding and your right to tell them that it is an adult reception. Stick to your guns!! Good luck!


i agree completely with this statement. my brother told me that I MUST invite his children to the wedding and that he doesn't care about anyone else's kids. they will be 4 and 1 1/2 on the day of our wedding. if we invite his, we must invite the SEVENTEEN other children to our wedding--and i'll be damned if this wedding turns into a romper room.

please don't take offense VadersBride--but a long affair involving many adults, drinking, dancing, and mingling is NOT what many people would consider a place to bring children. for some reason when it comes to weddings i think people's common sense just goes right out the window when it comes to kids. you wouldn't think to bring small children to any other adult-orienated affair such as a New Year's Eve party or perhaps a friends 30th birthday, or private dinner party at a friend's house, etc. why is it okay to bring them to a wedding?

my issue is people who get attitudes when you inform them politely that you would like for there NOT to be kids at the wedding. (this is not directed at anyone on the board--just in general) if i ask you nicely and WE are the ones hosting---who are YOU to tell me who you will bring to my affair?
neener1211 Posted:

Re: Anyone insist to bring their children to your wedding?

I am inviting my cousins, who I am close with, and there are 6 from the same family under the age of 12 (ranging from 1 to 12 yrs old). He is also inviting 4 of his cousins under 15 yrs old.

I am having 2 of the 6 cousins from my family as my flower girls, and not to invite the 4 others, would be mean of me. Plus, I want them there.

But, we have already told FSIL that her newborn will not be coming to the wedding. She is fine with it. A wedding, even during the day, is no place for a child under 1 year old. It's just too loud.

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