Not sure what my problem is...I just can't seem to get my head around the idea of changing my name. I dont even like my name...his name is much better. Its just that I've had this name for thirty-something years, and it just seems weird that it will just change overnight. FH doesnt understand, whats the big deal? he says. He doesnt understand my fear of change/identity crisis. I am not going to make a decision either way until after the wedding, and then see how I feel then. Anyone else feel this way, and what did you end up doing?
mRm2008
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
the closer the big day comes...the more i think about that. i feel almost like you do, its not that i don't like his name, its just letting go of my own.
2007 Crescent Bride
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
I am keeping my name because I have a son with my last name. I will probably hypenate though.
diva7531
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
I am currently keeping my name. DH is in the process of adopting my DD. When her name changes, I will change mine. I ddo not want to have a different last name than my children. But it will be hard
jessicamtm
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
I am just not sure....I want to take it but I also want to keep my name.
Wifeynella
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
im very traditional so there was never a question about changing my name.
and if i didnt love my middle name i would have done what my mom did 'first name, maiden name and new last name' but she hated her middle name!
znycgirl
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
I was in that boat.
I had no middle name. Now it's my maiden name. It's very easy to do & makes me feel like I've got something of my own. Now, my name is VERY long with the maiden and new last name, but I initialize the maiden name when I have to. No hyphenation.
LeeLee111
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
Sometimes I have anxiety about it but FH said its a deal breaker if I dont take his name. I love my italian last name and I'm trading it in for an Irish last name.
agoldm02
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
I'm taking his name and making my maiden name my middle name. It's definitely going to be an adjustment, but I see it as a way to honor him, so I'm going to do it. I will definitely sign everything with my middle and last names, at least for a while.
Ms Sawney
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
I plan on hypenating my name I can see myself giving up my last name I love my last name
HamptonsBride
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
I was a 34 year old bride & have always been very independent ...i kept my name...DH actually encouraged me to keep it because of my art and business...he could care less...people will refer to me as Mrs. DHName alot...and that is fine too...but I love my name and glad i still have it.
ETA: We are not having kids...if we were I probably would've changed my name to avoid confusing the hell out of them & everyone else (and kept my name for career/art purposes)...haha.
MrsOlszewski
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
I actually can't wait to change my name...but the only problem is FSIL is thinking about changing her name back to her maiden name since she's gotten divorced, so we would have the same name I just can't win!!
roan126
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
Thanks for the advice. I'm established in my career, so changing it would be a pain. I've considered keeping my name, taking his name, adding his name to mine, changing mine only for work, and none of these feel right to me. I don't know why this is stressing me out so much....this should be the worst decision I'll ever have to make.
yswedding
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
I was all against changing my name, but when I thought of our kids, I want to have the same last name as them, and I want them to have the same last name as their father. So thats all it took to change my mind.
Hyphenating is just too complicated, think of how schools usually limit the number of characters in long last names in records. It just get too messy.
BeccaJo
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
I'm also having this debate with myself, I'm glad someone brought it up. I feel very attached to my name and thinking about all the places where I'd have to change it is daunting. It really means a lot to FH that we have the same name and of course I can't help but think it would be easier on future children to all have one name.
I think its particularly difficult for me since my mother never legally changed her name. She just goes by both names and no one has every questioned her about it. Its confusing at times but she is able to have it both ways. I think thats why I'm resisting doing it the legal way... lately though I've been leaning towards doing it and surprising FH since he doesn't think I'm going to do it!
MsPotterhead
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
Posted by HamptonsBride
I was a 34 year old bride & have always been very independent ...i kept my name...DH actually encouraged me to keep it because of my art and business...he could care less...people will refer to me as Mrs. DHName alot...and that is fine too...but I love my name and glad i still have it.
I too will be a 34 year old bride! I've always been on the fence about it. I'm also an artist, and actually currently go by my full name -- first middle last name. Hyphenating would make me loose my middle name or have a ridiculously long name. I don't think I'll change it right away, but in a couple of years when I have kids, I might think about it. Also, my father very recently passed away. I just can't imagine not having his name.
T E R I
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
I totally understand. My last name is 80% of the time mis-pronounced and misspelled, but I think I will end up missing that. FH last name is very plain and boring and can't really be misspelled or mis-pronounced.
bluegreen08
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
Posted by MrsOlszewski
I actually can't wait to change my name...but the only problem is FSIL is thinking about changing her name back to her maiden name since she's gotten divorced, so we would have the same name I just can't win!!
FH's brothers ex-gf had the same first name as me, so we'd both end up with the same first and last name... but then they broke up....
I've had my doubts since I really like my last name even though my initials are pretty bad, but I'm 99% sure I'm going to take FH's name. I've considered making my last name into my middle name, but if I just keep that with my middle name it just pluralizes my initials... haha.... and I do like my middle name....
We'll see.....
ange1x
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Re: Anyone not sure whether to change your name?
Yes! My problem is I have a 4 letter last name and his is 12 letters and kind of hard for ppl to pronounce. I'm also on the same boat as you thinking that I've had this name my whole life and it's sentimental. I almost feel like I will lose part of my identity by changing it. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. Although it's nice for ppl to recognize me as his wife, it's also a matter of what I'm comfortable with. Not quiet there yet.
