Anyone see Oprah?

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

It was a very powerful show. I was sick Monday and Tuesday so of course I was glued to the TV with nothing else to do besides that and ralphing into the garbage can. Sorry for that image.

I felt really bad for Kristin Armstrong. She seemed like the most attractive woman in the world when she met Lance. Not only beautiful but she had a great career, mind of her own, her own house, dog... life. And then she sacrificed it all for him and it seems like in doing that she lost every part of what made her HER. It was terribly sad. She said that she didn't think that it was a bad thing to make sacrifices for your FH/DH but that if you do that with everything you risk losing yourself and then basically, things unravel.

She even said one time in conversation with Lance that she mentioned how she is so opinionated and strong. And he looked at her like you, opinionated? And she realized that that's who she really is but he never saw that side of her!! That really floored me.

There were also women on there who were very close to getting married and having doubts. I thought that was really sad too. I mean, I don't know if there are any clear-cut answers for people like that or people like all of us who are about to get married or recently married. I think it boils down to just being yourself and remaining that way. I think it also has a lot to do with making sure that you both really know each other (and esp who you both REALLY are) because if you don't it will come out here and there during the marriage and a lot of times the result is divorce or growing apart.

I have always tried to keep my own identity about me. My mom has tried to instill this in me since day one. I have my own things, own my own things, and have my own personality. I disagree with FH when I want to and I say how I feel. That doesn't mean that when I compromise with FH I'm doing the 'wrong' thing-- it just means I shouldn't lose myself. It's hard to explain-- there's just a fine line to walk and I try to do that.

I also try to understand that this wedding is a big deal and it's going to be a very nice day BUT there are going to be 8 million days that follow that are more important than that day. I also understand that there are going to be a million times when my FH lets me down and vice-versa. Dr. Robin said that she thought that her husband (when she married him) would meet all of her expectations and needs and she was let down when he was unable to. I never, ever expect my FH to meet my needs/standards b/c how can I? What if he loses his job, what if something really bad happens? Life isn't perfect and if you go into thinking that it will be and that it will be the 'fairy tale' it's going to be a nightmare when you realize that it's not. Don't get me wrong: we'll have a great life and it will be amazing BUT there will be hard days, really hard days and I understand that which I think is what Dr. Robin wanted people to understand besides the 'be yourself and your own person' idea.

WOW this is long-- SORRY!! but i just felt it was really important and also very enlightening!

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