April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

I finally got engaged! I am so excited to plan everything, and have started looking at venues.

I have always wanted to get married in April (yes, the rainy month!). I can't decide if we should go for April 2004 or 2005. Of course, I would much rather get married in 2004, but I want us to be 100% financially sound before the wedding. For that reason, we are thinking we would be more comfortable and prepared (financially) if we wait until 2005.

I have read that some of you wish you would have done much shorter engagements, and I have read others that say the time flies.

I am so excited to be engaged and feel like maybe I should just enjoy the bliss for an extra year! But I also feel like I will be sooooo ready to get married and will regret the wait.

What are your opininons? Too wait or not too wait?

Thank you!

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

Congrats on you engagment and welcome aboard.
How big of a wedding do you want to have? You can have an inexpensive ceremony/reception if you wanted to.

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

My FH's family is HUGE....Half of Italy is coming! We can't cut down the guest list very much, as most of it is family.

I laughed when I just went on the board....How much is too much followed by How long is too long.....I wonder where I (subconsciously) picked my title! lol

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

LMAO I didn't even notice that one!!
If you feel that 2005 would be best for you both I would wait. Why rush and get yourself into something you can't afford

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

It seems as though finances are the only reason holding you up. I donot see anything wrong with wating until 2005 if it means you will have the wedding of your dreams.

I know a couple who got engaged the middle of next year and are waiting until 2005 for no reason- that I do not understand.

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

That is really up to you.If you think that will be very tough to do financially in 2004,then get married in 2005.

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

Unless one of you is still a student, spending two years collecting money for a wedding means to me that you are spending more then you can really afford. Also, depending on how long you have been dating, that is a really long time to wait, and you may get impatient at some point.

My conclusion -- if you are both already working, and have been dating more then two years, that is too long to wait.

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

for me the 4 months i have left is too long

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

Congrats on your engagement!!!! I say wait and have the wedding of your dreams

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

We both work full-time (Fh has 2 jobs!) and have been dating 5 years. We want to have a nice wedding and buy a house to move into after the wedding. We can do the wedding in 2004, but then the house will have to wait. I guess I just have this perfect image of him carrying me over the threshold of our new house after the wedding! ( I am such a romantic fool, lol!).

Hmmmm....I don't know what to do.....any more wise words from you ladies?

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

i personally think that if you need an engagement over two years long then you are not really ready to get married. this is just my opinion and not meant to bash anyone. by the time i get married i'll have been engaged for just over year and i think that's too long. but everybody's different so you should just go with your gut. but i think waiting nearly two and half years will be very frustrating :)

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

I do not think long engagements have to neccesarily mean you are not ready. Some people have long engagements for financial reasons.

My FH and I have been together 9 years and when we got engaged ppl expected us to get married the next day. Instead we would be engaged 1yr 3 months when we tie the knot. We wanted to save a bit more $$$.

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

Engaged in November and getting married in August 2003. Time is really flying by. Sometimes I wish I had more tiem, I am planning from out of town.
I understand the big family issue, I have one---when making the guest list I didn't even get through all my uncles and first cousins and hit over 100 people.

The length of your engagement is a personal decision, having a dream of certain kind of wedding is nice, I think most of us brides had similar thoughts.

On a practical note, since finances are a part of your decision process I reccommend you go out and take a look at some of these venues that you are interested in, find out the prices, it may help you make a decision.

This website is a great source of info and blowing off steam and asking questions. Welcome and good luck.

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

dreamy, FH and I have been together almost 7 years, and we will be engaged for 2 years (getting married on 8/30). There are positives and negatives for a long engagement. We were able to save money up, as well as having time to book vendors way in advance, so there is no danger of not getting who you want.

The drawback is the wedding seems SO far away, sometimes it seems unreal. In our planning, we have had lulls of over a month where we did nothing for the wedding, and people ask us all the time if we are already married. Its hard to wait a long time, once you start planning.

A long engagement was best for us. Now that the wedding is 7 1/2 months away, I cannot wait and have had the luxury to look forward to our day, and do it the way that we wanted. Best of luck in making your choice!

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

Dreamygal do what is most comfortable for you and your FH. NOT what people tell you. I heard you're taking forever why are you waiting till 2004! We got engaged in 4/4/02 and getting married 3/5/04.

Luckily FH's parents are helping us by allowing us to live in their home but without their help we would not be able to buy a home till 5 years after we are wed!

Homes are sooo expensive especially in LI I don't know how many newleyweds manage to get married and purchase a home at the same time. Some have more money than others. However we don't have that.

This wedding is for the both of you. If you are not financially able to handle the wedding and the purchasing of a home, that is OK. If you have to wait till 2005 so be it. It is what you and your FH feels is best for your current and future plans is what your main concern should be. Both of you will have the wedding and home of your dreams not everything all half a$$. Then it will be so much more worth it for the both of you to say we did it!

BTW Congrats on your engagement
Welcome to the board And Good Luck on your decision.

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

Do what you are comfortable with. We got engaged in September 2000 and our wedding day is July 03! I am sure a lot of people are wondering why as there is no obvious reason for our waiting so long (we didn't do anything the first year or so), but I've never been one for worrying about other people's thoughts. I only care about what family and close friends think, and they knew the situation:

We had 10 weddings to go to the first year we were engaged (2 of them FH's siblings, and the rest out of town), plus I was changing careers, and we moved in together (into Manhatten - ouch!). We had enough to deal with without planning a wedding on top of all that (plus we wanted to give FHs family -including ourselves- some time to recover from the other family weddings. I think I would have lost it all together if we planned our wedding during that time. And I've had a lot of fun. BTW the time really REALLY flies!

Wow. That was probably WAY more than you wanted to know...

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

We got engaged this past Oct and like you I had a certain idea in my head of when I wanted to get married. We both love the fall and decided we wanted an Autumn wedding-we were initially going to try to get married this year (nov 2003) but we were a little scared about pushing it financially plus we both want to establish careers a little more--soo we decided to do it 'the right way' for US and wait that way we weren't so hard pressed--it's not really the wedding we were worried about paying for-it was AFTER the wedding with rent and bills and stuff!! so in the end you just have to decide what is right for you guys---GOOD LUCK! Don't rush though-you want to enjoy it-but if you are anxious to get married--have a scaled down wedding-you'll be just as married!!

Re: April 04 or April 05? How long is too long?

We initially planned a two year engagement and then after one year - we were like what are we waiting for? We had financial reasons too. But we decided to move the wedding to six months earlier than initially planned. I'm so happy we did - especially since we ended up with a beautiful day and our originally date was overcast and cloudy!

It is a personal decision, but I honestly felt that I was putting the rest of my life on hold- I don't think we'll ever be in a financially perfect place and we still don't own a house, but we're very happy and glad that we didn't wait as long as we had originally planned.

Hope that helps