Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

amy&anthony Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:27 PM

Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

I mean NO $$ help from anyone for anything including engagement party, rehearsal dinner, anything.....

Noone has offered ANYTHING.. I mean we went into it almost expecting that... but noone, nothing... The reason Im so upset is.. FH and I wanted to go away and get married (we said we would pay for immediate family)
They all FREAKED and wanted us to have a real big wedding.. so were going to... but now none of those people have offered to help us out at all...

SomethingBlu Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:29 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

We are. 110% completely on our own. Our families also shut down the destination wedding idea and thinking back maybe we should have just done that, because it can get overwhelming planning such a big and costly event on our own...but I'm sure it'll be worth it. And no, no one is helping and I don't expect them to...I'm a big girl now and will tkae care of it with my fi - that's what I tell myself to stay sane!

amy&anthony Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:38 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

See were going to Florida the 18th to the 24th. My uncle is a minister and could marry us.. But they wanted us to have a big wedding in NY.. I figured if they were crying so much about it, the least they could do is offer to help somewhat... The reason we were going to go away is because we were going to save $$ and do what we wanted :(

MissMelissa Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:46 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

WE DID IT COMPLETELY ON OUR OWN. HUBBY'S MOM NEVER EVEN GAVE A GIFT, LET ALONE HE[PED PAY

lilqtny Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:46 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

yep as the other poster said 110% on our own. And by that I mean mostly me, lol! Fh is a Marine and doesn't make much to help right now So I save the first 10K on my own, we are on our way but i can't wait until Nov 2005 when he is discharged and gets a good job. I need his help.

It sux to have to pay it all but in our situation, my parents can't afford to help and I'm still hoping we get his to show up so can't expect much else of them.

keep your head up

amy&anthony Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:47 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

wow, thats kind of rude IMO.. Nothing? A card? Anything?

gina&ken Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:53 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

if nobody is helping, and you want to have a destination wedding, tell that to your family (i know, easier said than done). just let them know you can't afford to have the big new york wedding on your own. so either they need to help you, or you're going to florida.

do what YOU want

amy&anthony Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:54 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

But I already bought a dress ($1600) and booked the hall :( Believe me - I would love to just run away right now and get married... Oh it would be so much easier!! No DJ, or anything.. Just drinks on the beach.. ahhhh

SummerBride2005 Posted: Feb 06, 2005 04:36 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

Hi there,

My FI and I are footing the whole bill - we went into our wedding planning with that in mind. In the end, I'm sure we'll be spending a hefty sum but I think our friends and family (especially) will be generous. I was told that it's more realistic to assume that the $ we get will cover half the wedding costs. By the way, we're not having a registry so most likely people will be giving a monetary gift.

chachou22 Posted: Feb 06, 2005 04:38 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

yep we are paying everything on our own, and when I think about the expense I just want to cry but I know its all worth it at the end

halfpintny Posted: Feb 06, 2005 04:55 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

You previously posted that the only thing you have booked is a hall. I would consider forfieting the deposit and going down to florida. The money you lose on the hall will be less costly than going down to florida. And nothing says you cant wear that beautiful dress down there. If you got married in jericho terrace you'd be only wearing it there one day too. Make it YOUR day and if no one is helping then they have no input into WHERE you're having it.

princess99 Posted: Feb 06, 2005 05:02 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

We paid for our weddings all buy ourselves the only thing we got was a gift from his mom and if she was inviting any friends she had to pay for them or they were not being invited. When I look back almost a year ago, I thought it was hard to do , but we had a 2 year enagagemnt and we are glad we had our wedding our way. It also taught us what was impt for our wedding day and in making other decisoins as a married couple. It also gave us the it is our wedding and we are paying for it ourselves and no one can tell us what to do attitude. We got a lot of respect for that.

akaMrsT Posted: Feb 06, 2005 05:10 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

Wow - this sounds familiar. We wanted to go off to Mexico (Royal Hideaway) and get married. We were still inviting everyone to tag along (at their own expense) but lots of family members complained about the price and distance.

It would have been about $1500 per person for a 3 day all inclusive weekend for our 2/19/06 wedding date. I even had American Airlines arrange for a discounted flight. If they picked a different hotel it could have been well under $1,000 per person especially if they stayed in Cancun and just drove 45 minutes to Playcar for the wedding. Cancun is fairly cheap and I think I found an $800 package or two.

My dad complained that his brother does not fly and Mexico too far away. My mom wanted Hawaii but thinks it's too far and too expensive for everyone (not her since she has friends to stay with there). Then there is FI's oldest brother who complained about the $1500 cost (which could have been under $1,000 if they did not stay at the same resort). This is the same brother who owes FI over $1K anyway but decided to buy a used car recently instead of paying FI his money.

I do still think about running off to an island though. We, unlike you, have not signed any contracts. So weighing the expense of what you have already put out v. what you will end up putting out to complete the NY wedding, I'd pick the cheapest rout since nobody is helping out.

I was not expecting anyone to help us out but the fact that many people complained about their expense in getting to a Mexico wedding annoys me --- especially since they are all fine with us footing the bill.

amy&anthony Posted: Feb 06, 2005 05:13 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

See to be honest at this point I really dont care if anyone is there LOL i would have been happy with just our parents and my son!

jantany26 Posted: Feb 06, 2005 05:18 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

We are. We are planning the wedding we never had and we will be renewing our vows in the mayan riviera, mexico. Just the two of us and our daughter. To be honest, I did want the big wedding but realistically it was going to be impossible to do it here in new york and we didn't want to hear people's mouth saying why are you spending money if you are already married. That is why we compromised and decided on that and my husband feels more comfortable doing it this way and it's actually excited about it.

akaMrsT Posted: Feb 06, 2005 05:29 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

Posted by amy&anthony

See to be honest at this point I really dont care if anyone is there LOL i would have been happy with just our parents and my son!

Go for it!!!! Save your money and have a small wedding. Put the money away for a house or your son's college.

We put the wedding money in a separate account just for the wedding and I do waiver every so often about what other things I can do with that money. New car, partial $ for a new house, pay off my coop mortgage etc...

akaMrsT Posted: Feb 06, 2005 05:31 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

Posted by amy&anthony

See to be honest at this point I really dont care if anyone is there LOL i would have been happy with just our parents and my son!

I have a must invite list of 9 people - that's it. 9 people and I suppose their spouses/dates would attend. Somehow that list grew to as high as 245 at one point. Now we are at about 152 now.

SomethingBlu Posted: Feb 06, 2005 05:35 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

too much, then do the small wedding. You only have ti please yourself and DH no one else!

You can wear your beautiful dress and speak to JT about cancelling. You can work something out, I'm sure, everything's possible.

But before you do anything, responding to your other post, fix those issues first. Marriage is not a fix all - fix what's broken and move on!

103005FallBride Posted: Feb 06, 2005 05:42 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

We're also doing everything 110% on our own. One of my favorite advantages of it is when someone puts in their '2 cents' about the way we're doing things...I think...are you paying for it...well then hush up!!!

beautyq115 Posted: Feb 06, 2005 05:44 PM

Re: Are any of you doing your wedding completely on your own?

Then if they wanted a big wedding THEY SHOULD HAVE PAID FOR THE BIG WEDDING!

Amy...you seem to be going through alot right now! My heart really goes out to you!!